Godfrey Hibbert
Looking for a rolling, bowling ballyhoo? Tune in for roller skating vs. bowling! Writer, actress, and roller skating maven Ashley Jaye dukes it out with actor, comedian, writer, director, and bowling fan Max Maliga in one slippery smackdown! Which team will win? Baller bowling, or radical roller skating?
Vote below to tell us who YOU think won!
This episode was sponsored by:
Outschool.com/smashboom – To save $15 on your child’s first class
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Audio Transcript
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ANNOUNCER: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
RENIKA: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and you're listening to Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's recreational rumble is a rolling, bowling ballyhoo. It's roller skating versus bowling. We've got writer, actress, and sloth lover, Ashley J, ready to defend radical roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah, let's get rolling with the roller skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we have actor, comedian, writer, and director, Max Maliga, going to bat for beautiful bowling.
MAX MALIGA: Ooh, I'm greasier than a bowling alley. Let's get this thing going.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Which sport will win? Bowling, every lane lover's favorite, or really cool roller skating? It's a tough call. Luckily, we've got Renika from Brooklyn, New York, here to help us decide. Renika taught herself to skateboard, enjoys playing badminton, and loves eating sushi. She also works on a podcast called Miseducation from The Bell. Hi, Renika.
RENIKA: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Renika, to start off, since we're on a podcast, can you tell us a little bit about your podcast?
RENIKA: Yeah. So this education podcast is basically a youth-led podcast where we deal with the inequities in the New York School system. And we have students report on it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very, very cool. So you're a reporter on that podcast?
RENIKA: Yes. I am a student journalist and a program assistant for Miseducation podcast.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, as a reporter, what is your favorite question to ask people when you're reporting?
RENIKA: So mostly, I have interviewed kids from my school. And my favorite thing to ask them is like, what do you think about your school? And the answers would be so wild.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes. Being a journalist is fun. You get to be really nosy, and you find out what people think. So, Renika, onto the task at hand today, bowling, roller skating. Have you bowled before?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: And have you roller skated?
RENIKA: I have, too.
MOLLY BLOOM: Now, would you say you have a strong bias in favor of one over the other?
RENIKA: Nope.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. So what comes to mind when I say bowling?
RENIKA: A bowling alley filled with a lot of people, and the ball not going straight to hit all the pins. And then I'm standing there and I rolled the ball, and I'm thinking it's going straight, and it goes straight into the gutter and I'm like, why?
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about roller skating? What comes to mind when we say roller skating?
RENIKA: Bruises.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Falling down a little.
RENIKA: A Little. The first time I went roller skating, I fall down every second. It was terrible.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, we have a lot to learn about this. And maybe everything we learn about these today will make you better at both of these activities.
RENIKA: Hopefully.
MOLLY BLOOM: I think it's possible. So, Renika, are you ready to get this debate rolling?
RENIKA: I am so ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Awesome. Before we skate into the debate, let's review the rules of the game. Round 1 is the Declaration of Greatness. Our debaters will present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side and come up with a 30-second rebuttal to their opponent's statements.
Then we've got the Micro Round, where each team will present a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Round 3 is the Sneak Attack, where our debaters will have to respond to an improv challenge on the spot. And to wrap it all up, we've got the Final 6, where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Renika will award two points in the first round.
One for her favorite rebuttal, the other for the declaration she liked best. Then she'll award one point in each round after that, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Max, Ashley, and Renika, are you ready to roll?
RENIKA: Yes.
ASHLEY JAMES: I'm ready to roll.
MAX MALIGA: Oh, this is right down my alley.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Wonderful. Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: We flipped a coin. And Max, you're up first. Tell us why bowling is the Smash Boom Best.
MAX MALIGA: The bowling alley is for everyone, whether you're young or old, a bowling pro, or a complete newbie. And it's where I had my very first day. The lights were dim. It smelled like French fries and infinite possibilities.
Me and my date, Amber, took turns trying our best to knock down pins. And when we ran out of things to talk about, it was no sweat. Because the bowling alley was perfect for people watching. In one corner, there was an old guy singing karaoke.
MAN: (SINGING) And I will always love you, woo, woo, woo, woo.
MAX MALIGA: And in the other, a gaggle of eight-year-olds celebrating their friend's birthday.
[KIDS CHEERING]
And you can't forget the group of regulars dressed in matching bowling shirts, throwing strike after strike.
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[CHEERS]
That's the beauty of bowling. Anyone can enjoy it, no matter your age or skill. You could be throwing gutter ball after gutter ball after gutter ball, and everyone you're with is still right there cheering you on.
[CHEERS]
MAN: Nice shot there, Max. You almost got a pin.
MAX MALIGA: Also, name another sport you can do while eating a plate of nachos. Go ahead, I'll wait. You can't. And unlike roller skating, bowling has a clear objective. After all, this is bowling. There are rules.
The goal is to roll that heavy bowling ball into as many pins as you can. If you knock all 10 pins down in one go, that's a strike. Two tries, a spare. And if you get three strikes in a row, that, my friends, is called a turkey.
[TURKEY GOBBLE]
You get a point for every pin. And the player who gets the most points wins. It's that simple. And this sport has been on a roll for centuries. You see, humans just love throwing big, heavy balls around.
There was the Ulu Maika in Polynesia, where players threw disk-shaped stones down a path. The ancient Romans played a similar game called bocce. And German monks knocked down pins by tossing a stone ball as a spiritual ritual.
In fact, bowling was so much fun it got banned all the time. In 14th century England, soldiers were getting so distracted by bowling they slacked on practicing archery and other combat skills. So King Edward III made a bold move.
KING EDWARD III: As King, I banned thee from bowling. My soldiers must be prepared to fight in the war.
MAN 1: Oh, man. I mean, respectfully, your Highness, I'd rather score.
KING EDWARD III: Get it together, man.
MAX MALIGA: Flash forward to 19th century America.
MAN 2: See? People were having such a hootin' tootin' time bowling crowds were getting a bit rowdy. So the game of ninepins was outlawed.
MAX MALIGA: But people quickly found a way around the ban.
WOMAN 1: OK, OK, I know this year ninepins are illegal, but hear me out.
WOMAN 2: I'm listening.
WOMAN 1: What if we added a tenth pin? Problem solved.
WOMAN 2: Genius!
MAX MALIGA: Clearly, the ban's never lasted for long. And how could they? Bowling should be enjoyed by all. And now, it is. From your grandma to your best friend to Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2.
(SINGING) Let's go, let's go, let's rock and roll.
MAX MALIGA: And of course, The Dude from The Big Lebowski. You don't like bowling?
THE DUDE: Well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.
MAX MALIGA: Bowling. Its charm has stood the test of time. It remains the perfect activity for a gathering with friends, family, or even for that very first date. I still love you, Amber. And really, anyone can enjoy it. All with a side of nachos. Now let's get things rolling and give a shout out to bowling!
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
MOLLY BLOOM: I feel like I'm at the bowling alley. So, Renika, what did you think about Max's Declaration of Greatness? What stood out to you? What really was striking to you? See what I did? Striking.
RENIKA: So I honestly never knew that bowling was actually banned. That really stood out to me. I was just like-- I was like, oh my God, why would they do that? And then, oh, they were so smart they added a tenth pin just to lift that ban. And now we get to bowl every day however we feel like, whenever we feel like.
MOLLY BLOOM: We have to thank those very clever people. Ashley, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to prove why Max's argument is all gutter balls. And your time starts now.
ASHLEY JAMES: Well, bowling is for anyone for at any age, but you can't do bowling any time or anywhere. You're strictly restricted to those buildings' hours. And then, at the same time, those bowling shoes, they don't really look as cool as roller skates. I mean, and you can't even wear them outside, either. And when it comes to-- when it comes to bowling-- when it comes to bowling, at the time--
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Ashley, it's your turn now to tell us why roller skating is the radder pastime. Let's hear your Declaration of Greatness.
ASHLEY JAMES: What's cracking? This is your DJ, Ashley James. Today, I'm posting the grooviest roller disco you ever did see. Make your way to the floor to get your groove on while I spin these records and give you the lowdown on why roller skating is so cool. Can you dig it?
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Let's roll. In London in the 1760s, a young Belgian inventor named John Joseph Merlin designed the first roller skate.
JOHN JOSEPH MERLIN: I did, indeed.
ASHLEY JAMES: What's cracking, Mr. Merlin? Would you like to tell us about it?
JOHN JOSEPH MERLIN: But of course, monsieurs and mademoiselles, I present to you metal-wheeled boots, a new fun way to travel. My design features full metal rollers attached to a flat metal plate, which attaches directly to your boots using the little belt strap. This is far safer than ice skating.
So much so, I will now demonstrate whilst playing the violin. A one, a two, a three. See? No need to worry about accidents. My metal-wheeled boots are very safe. Whoa! Whoa!
[THUD]
Ow!
[GASPS]
ASHLEY JAMES: True story. Mr. Merlin once rolled into a party on his new skates and was showing off playing the violin when he crashed straight into an expensive mirror. He forgot to add brakes. Luckily, in 1863, an American inventor named James Plimpton designed a roller skate that allowed skaters to turn and move gracefully just like they were on ice, much like the modern four-wheeled skates you see today.
Now here's the real skinny on why roller skating eventually became popular. Plimpton was a great marketer. He advertised roller skating as a suitable activity for young men and women to do together without a chaperone, which means Victorian mamas and papas saw roller skating as a wholesome activity for young couples. No supervision required.
Roller skating meant freedom. Speaking of freedom y'all, roller skating has been a part of peaceful protest for decades. In 1963, a Black man named Ledger Smith, otherwise known as Roller Man, roller skated 685 miles from Chicago to Washington, D.C., to hear Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous "I Have a Dream" speech with a sign around his neck that read "Freedom."
During the Civil Rights movement, Black people were fighting for equal rights through various forms of protest. One of the first recorded sit-in protest was at a roller rink like this one. More recently, a roller skate protest party was hosted in San Francisco as a demonstration of peace and solidarity with the Asian community during COVID-19. Can you say, flower power, y'all?
Roller skating is also a funky form of exercise. You can burn about 300 calories by skating for 30 minutes. If you're practicing some tricks, it can even improve your flexibility and your sense of connection to your body. Plus, you'll be known as the cool dude that can do tricks in roller skates.
Roller rinks are places where music and parties collide. A popular roller rink in Atlanta, Georgia, called Cascade, hosted Beyoncé's 21st birthday. And she also filmed a music video here. If the Queen B has a roller skating birthday party and a roller skating music video, then you know it's cool.
Roller skating is, and will always be, the coolest because of these three things. It's a symbol of fun and freedom, it's got a jive in history, and it's the chillest of the chill. Don't be a hater, be a roller skater.
MOLLY BLOOM: A Declaration of Greatness that did way more than just take us round and round in circles. Renika, what stood out to you about Ashley's argument?
RENIKA: The Queen B had her party at a roller rink. OK, now, she's giving me ideas for my 18th birthday. I never knew that at all. I feel like that stood out to me. Also, he roller skated from Chicago to go see Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech? Oh.
ASHLEY JAMES: It's incredible.
RENIKA: Round of applause for him. I so happy he was. See, I'm learning a lot.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. I mean, if it's good enough for Beyoncé, it's good enough for all of us.
RENIKA: It's good enough for my 18th birthday.
MOLLY BLOOM: I know. OK. Max, it is time for your rebuttal. Knock Ashley's argument down. You have 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
MAX MALIGA: OK. First things first, roller skating has no rules. It's chaos. What's your objective? What is the point? Tell me that. Secondly, you said it yourself. Injuries.
People get hurt. It causes more than 135,000 injuries per year. That's more than skateboarding. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? That's from Consumer Product Safety Commission.
Now, also, you said it was about bringing people together. It's not inclusive, because not everyone can do it. You've got to have exceptional balance. I'd say it's inaccessible, maybe even discriminatory. I don't know. I'm not saying roller skating is evil.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MAX MALIGA: Roller skating is saying that it is evil itself. I mean, it's saying that by itself.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah. I mean, if we're going to talk about discriminatory, bowling didn't allow women to bowl until 1917.
MAX MALIGA: Check mate.
RENIKA: Touché.
MAX MALIGA: I think that's check mate.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow. Very nice.
MOLLY BLOOM: I don't think you can CGI roller skates on Beyoncé.
MAX MALIGA: I don't think Beyoncé actually roller skates. I think Beyoncé is faking it. I think it's--
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my. This is a really tough debate. It's getting heated. But Renika, it's time for you to award some points. We want you to give one point to the Declaration of Greatness that you liked best and one point to your favorite rebuttal.
You get to decide what makes each one a winner. Rink about it. Did one side make you laugh? Did someone surprise you with unusual facts? It is up to you. Have you made your decision?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Ashley and Max, how are you feeling so far?
ASHLEY JAMES: I'm feeling pretty good. I feel my argument is pretty solid, I got some cool facts up in there.
MAX MALIGA: I was going to use a really bad bowling pun here, but I thought I'd spare you. I actually feel really great. I feel great. This is going fantastic.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, it's time for a quick break. Polish your ball or roll around the block.
RENIKA: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: What up, debaters? This is Taylor Lincoln. And I'm here with the catch up to my mustard--
TODD DOUGLAS: Todd Douglas. And boy, do we have a logical fallacy for you today.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are debate doozies that diminish the power of your argument.
TODD DOUGLAS: And we just heard someone using the loaded question fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: The loaded question fallacy is when someone asks a question that has a built-in assumption. Basically, it means no matter how you answer, you sound guilty.
TODD DOUGLAS: Let's check it out.
HAZEL: In conclusion, that's why I would make an excellent student body president.
MODERATOR: OK. Any questions? Yes, Roger?
ROGER: Yeah. Hi, Hazel. I just want to know, when did you stop eating boogers?
HAZEL: What? I didn't stop eating buggers.
ROGER: Wait. So you still eat boogers?
HAZEL: Still? No, no, I never did in the first place.
ROGER: OK. Then why did you say you didn't stop eating them?
HAZEL: That's not what I meant and you know it. You're just trying to distract from what's important-- the issues. Nice try, pal.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yikes.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yikes, indeed.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Roger totally set his love with that booger malarkey.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, he framed the question so it sounded like Hazel always ate her boogers, even though it was totally made up.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Right. Anyway you cut it, it already seems like you're guilty of eating your own boogs. You're trapped by the question.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yikes on bikes.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Totally. Watch out for those loaded questions, folks.
TODD DOUGLAS: And we'll catch you next time on--
BOTH: State of Debate.
Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
RENIKA: And I'm your judge, Renika.
MOLLY BLOOM: We love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's an epic idea we got from Simon.
SIMON: My debate idea is socks versus armpits.
RENIKA: Ooh, that'll be a fragrant debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sure would. We'll check back with Simon at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.
RENIKA: And now, it's back to today's debate, roller skating versus bowling.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round 2, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro Round.
MOLLY BLOOM: Today's Micro Round challenge is called Miracle Medicine. We asked Ashley and Max to write a health care commercial showcasing their side's most healing qualities. Max went first last time. So Ashley, you're up. Let's hear your healing review of roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Life's hard, especially when you're trying to show off how awesome you are. Between posting TikToks of my dog and listening to my friends during their bad days, it's really hard to continue to be amazing. I felt seriously stuck until I spoke with my doctor about Rolling Star Skates.
MAN: Rolling Star Skates can help. When added to your regular personality, Rolling Star Skates improve people's awesome factor by 65%. So you can stay true to yourself and keep the good times rolling.
WOMAN 1: Rolling Star Skates can cause serious side effects when used in conjunction with social media, such as instant celebrity, positive comments, and haters.
WOMAN 2: In order for Rolling Star Skates to work, one must be wearing the skates. People may experience additional side effects such as living, laughing, and loving. Call your doctor if you experience a fall or break a hip, otherwise leave them alone. They're busy.
WOMAN 1: I'm glad my doctor helped me find a way to stay true to myself and get sponsored on TikTok.
ASHLEY JAMES: Ask your doctor today about Rolling Star Skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: We could all use more likes, favorites, comments in our lives. Max, it's your turn. Sell us the healthful benefits of bowling.
MAX MALIGA: Are you sick of everyone trying to force you to exercise? Do you, or someone you love, wish you could play a sport while drinking soda? If you answered yes to either of those questions, Bowler Max might be for you.
Bowler Max is the new/extremely old wonder drug from the makers of Frisbeeprofin. After quadruple, double-blind studies, studies so blind we didn't actually do them, we found that 10 out of 10 Americans like to eat food, drink drinks, play sports, or watch TV. With Bowler Max, you can do all four at the same time!
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[EATING NACHOS]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[SIPPING DRINK]
For some drugs like Rollerskaticilin, eating food, drinking drinks, or watching TV are not recommended while using. And to use Rollerskaticilin, users need to have exceptional balance or they may get injured. Bowler Max provides everyone, ages 3 to 103, a fun, safe way to get moving with friends.
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[CHEERS]
That's right. You can say goodbye to injuries, bullies, and social anxiety. By using patented, reverse peer pressure-based technology, Bowler Max effectively levels the playing field by forcing everyone to cheer for each other no matter how many gutter balls they throw.
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[CHEERS]
Side effects may include an increase in arcades, better hand-eye coordination, and stronger forearms. Warning. Some tweens experienced their first kiss while using Bowler Max. Bowler Max, it's time to start enjoying your mild to moderate exercise.
MOLLY BLOOM: A sport for multitaskers. Renika, what stood out to you about Ashley and Max's sales pitches there?
RENIKA: The commercials are so funny.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Very persuasive.
RENIKA: Right? I was like, where can I get these? I really want to try that out. But they both--
MAX MALIGA: Think about the forearms, Renika. Think about the forearms.
RENIKA: Upper body strength? Yes. I've been thinking about going to the gym to get that upper body strength. Maybe I should take a Bowler Max and just get that right there.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, this is going to be a tough decision. But again, Renika, the criteria is up to you. Which one sounded more appealing, which one taught you something, which one made you laugh? Have you awarded a point?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
ANNOUNCER: Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: Your challenge is Secret Handshake. Ashley, Max, we want you to come up with a secret handshake for your side and then talk us through how to do it. Remember, this is a podcast.
They can't see us. You're going to have to describe it super well. What makes this secret handshake so cool? Does this challenge make sense?
ASHLEY JAMES: Yes.
MAX MALIGA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Ashley went first last time. So max, you're up first. Bowl us over with your rad greeting.
MAX MALIGA: OK. Well, the bowling alley is the perfect place for a secret handshake. Every time you bowl a ball, you come back and get to be with your friends again. So you have this great, fantastic opportunity to do a super cool handshake. Now, what I'm visioning here is the end of a bowling shot.
You just hit a strike or through a gutter ball, it doesn't matter. That's the beauty of bowling. You come back to your friend, they're waiting for you. They stick their hand out, start with a classic sliding hammer. If you don't know what sliding hammer is, stick your arm out, pull it back, say, "sliding" and form a fist, pull the fist forward, say, "hammer," then spin.
And then jump up. And the back person goes through the legs of the first person. And then you do a side to side. You're with me. You see it, right? A little bit of snapping there. And then you turn around and do a finger tickle, and you say, "bowling!"
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Wow. A full-body secret handshake. It's more like a secret body shake.
MAX MALIGA: Well, it's got to be full body.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm into it. Because bowling is all about mild to moderate exercise, after all. All right. Ashley, it's your turn. Walk us through your roller skating shake.
ASHLEY JAMES: Perfect. So for the roller skating secret handshake, it's going to be a straight jam. And you can do this anywhere. You can do this at a roller rink, you can do this at a tennis court, outside. Wherever you want, it can be done.
And so what you do is when you get together with your friends after you do a cool skate down the road or whether you're just skating along or you're just having just a good time on roller skates with your friends, you turn to each other and you give each other a big, old high five, but then you miss on purpose. But then you give each other a low five. And you go, "whoa!"
And then you do a wave with your arms like you see at those sports games. And you go like, "woo!" like a big old wave together. And then you tap your roller skates together, and then you point at each other and you say, "who runs the world?" And then you pause and you go, "we do."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Oh, it's very affirming.
MAX MALIGA: That just sounds like an injury waiting to happen. I just got to-- I mean, I could just-- thinking about it.
ASHLEY JAMES: I mean, with bowling, you can only do it at a bowling alley. This, my secret handshake could be done anywhere, any time. We're not restricted to just lanes.
MAX MALIGA: I don't know. I'm pretty sure you could go to people's legs anywhere.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Renika, this is another tough decision for you to make. But it's time to award your fourth point. Which handshake wowed you? Again, the criteria is up to you. Award that team a point. Have you made your decision?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then it's time for our very final around.
ANNOUNCER: The Final 6.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ashley, you've got just six words to win Renika over. Tell us why we should all have a love-skate relationship to roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Keep calm and skate on.
MOLLY BLOOM: Simple. Didn't even need all six words. Max, it's your turn. Let's see you strike with your final six.
MAX MALIGA: Skaters fall, bowlers do it all.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another thinker. All right. This debate has been a rolly-bowly ball, but who will win? There's only one person who can make the call. Renika, have you awarded your final point?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tally them up. Drumroll, please.
[DRUMROLL]
The winner is--
RENIKA: Bowling!
MAX MALIGA: Whoo! That's a strike.
ASHLEY JAMES: Oh, man.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. All right. Renika, was there a moment that decided things for you?
RENIKA: The moment that really put it all together was the iconic six-word statement. It sounded very much like a very good aesthetic Instagram caption.
[LAUGHTER]
I must say, though, the Declaration of Greatness, roller skating really won me over with that one.
MAX MALIGA: Yeah. Me too, Ashley. That Declaration of Greatness was just killer I was shaking in my boots. I was scared. I was trying to come up with something.
[LAUGHTER]
I just, throughout the whole time, I just loved-- every time I said something, you had a great comeback for me. And I was just like, OK, I'm going to keep rolling. I'm doing fine. I'm OK, I'm not scared.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah, I liked Max's Declaration of Greatness. And also, his commercial got me, too. I was like, oh my gosh. How could I follow that?
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it was a tough debate today. You both did amazing. I want to go bowling and roller skating. Can I do them both at the same time? Probably not safe, but maybe I'll try it later. That is it for today's debate battle. Renika crowned bowling the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
RENIKA: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
ASHLEY JAMES: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rose Dupont, Ruby Guthrie, and Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Kevin McMenamy, Gary O'Keefe, Alexander Simpson, and Michael Peterson.
MAX MALIGA: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield, Mark Sanchez, and, the one and only, Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Shaffer, and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Brant Miller, Oluwatoyin Kupoluyi, Peter Ecklund, Austin Cross, and Taylor Coffman. Max, do you have anyone you'd like to thank today?
MAX MALIGA: Oh, I got to give a big shout out to my niece and nephew, Arlo and Luna, who-- I told them I was going to do this thing. And Arlo said, you better bring your A-game. So I really hope it made you two proud today out there. I love you so much.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Ashley? Any special shout outs?
ASHLEY JAMES: Yes. Special shout out to my husband for helping me gather all my thoughts on this and then also to Quad Republic skate shop in El Cerrito, California. They helped me pick out my first pair of roller skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, that's awesome. What do they look like?
ASHLEY JAMES: Oh, they're lavender. It was nice lavender wheels.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds amazing. All right. Renika, do you want to give any special thanks today?
RENIKA: I want to say thank you to Mira who put me on to Smash Boom Best, so I could be here. And also, thank you to Rosie.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, you did such a great job today. All right. Before we go, let's check in with Simon about his socks versus armpits debate.
SIMON: I think socks would win because they're stinky.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown, drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta!
ASHLEY JAMES: Adios.
MAX MALIGA: Buongiorno.
[THEME MUSIC]
What kind of cat goes bowling?
MOLLY BLOOM: What kind?
MAX MALIGA: An alley cat.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
RENIKA: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and you're listening to Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's recreational rumble is a rolling, bowling ballyhoo. It's roller skating versus bowling. We've got writer, actress, and sloth lover, Ashley J, ready to defend radical roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah, let's get rolling with the roller skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we have actor, comedian, writer, and director, Max Maliga, going to bat for beautiful bowling.
MAX MALIGA: Ooh, I'm greasier than a bowling alley. Let's get this thing going.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Which sport will win? Bowling, every lane lover's favorite, or really cool roller skating? It's a tough call. Luckily, we've got Renika from Brooklyn, New York, here to help us decide. Renika taught herself to skateboard, enjoys playing badminton, and loves eating sushi. She also works on a podcast called Miseducation from The Bell. Hi, Renika.
RENIKA: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, Renika, to start off, since we're on a podcast, can you tell us a little bit about your podcast?
RENIKA: Yeah. So this education podcast is basically a youth-led podcast where we deal with the inequities in the New York School system. And we have students report on it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very, very cool. So you're a reporter on that podcast?
RENIKA: Yes. I am a student journalist and a program assistant for Miseducation podcast.
MOLLY BLOOM: So, as a reporter, what is your favorite question to ask people when you're reporting?
RENIKA: So mostly, I have interviewed kids from my school. And my favorite thing to ask them is like, what do you think about your school? And the answers would be so wild.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes. Being a journalist is fun. You get to be really nosy, and you find out what people think. So, Renika, onto the task at hand today, bowling, roller skating. Have you bowled before?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: And have you roller skated?
RENIKA: I have, too.
MOLLY BLOOM: Now, would you say you have a strong bias in favor of one over the other?
RENIKA: Nope.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. So what comes to mind when I say bowling?
RENIKA: A bowling alley filled with a lot of people, and the ball not going straight to hit all the pins. And then I'm standing there and I rolled the ball, and I'm thinking it's going straight, and it goes straight into the gutter and I'm like, why?
MOLLY BLOOM: And what about roller skating? What comes to mind when we say roller skating?
RENIKA: Bruises.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Falling down a little.
RENIKA: A Little. The first time I went roller skating, I fall down every second. It was terrible.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, we have a lot to learn about this. And maybe everything we learn about these today will make you better at both of these activities.
RENIKA: Hopefully.
MOLLY BLOOM: I think it's possible. So, Renika, are you ready to get this debate rolling?
RENIKA: I am so ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Awesome. Before we skate into the debate, let's review the rules of the game. Round 1 is the Declaration of Greatness. Our debaters will present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side and come up with a 30-second rebuttal to their opponent's statements.
Then we've got the Micro Round, where each team will present a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Round 3 is the Sneak Attack, where our debaters will have to respond to an improv challenge on the spot. And to wrap it all up, we've got the Final 6, where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Renika will award two points in the first round.
One for her favorite rebuttal, the other for the declaration she liked best. Then she'll award one point in each round after that, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Max, Ashley, and Renika, are you ready to roll?
RENIKA: Yes.
ASHLEY JAMES: I'm ready to roll.
MAX MALIGA: Oh, this is right down my alley.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Wonderful. Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: Declaration of Greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: We flipped a coin. And Max, you're up first. Tell us why bowling is the Smash Boom Best.
MAX MALIGA: The bowling alley is for everyone, whether you're young or old, a bowling pro, or a complete newbie. And it's where I had my very first day. The lights were dim. It smelled like French fries and infinite possibilities.
Me and my date, Amber, took turns trying our best to knock down pins. And when we ran out of things to talk about, it was no sweat. Because the bowling alley was perfect for people watching. In one corner, there was an old guy singing karaoke.
MAN: (SINGING) And I will always love you, woo, woo, woo, woo.
MAX MALIGA: And in the other, a gaggle of eight-year-olds celebrating their friend's birthday.
[KIDS CHEERING]
And you can't forget the group of regulars dressed in matching bowling shirts, throwing strike after strike.
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[CHEERS]
That's the beauty of bowling. Anyone can enjoy it, no matter your age or skill. You could be throwing gutter ball after gutter ball after gutter ball, and everyone you're with is still right there cheering you on.
[CHEERS]
MAN: Nice shot there, Max. You almost got a pin.
MAX MALIGA: Also, name another sport you can do while eating a plate of nachos. Go ahead, I'll wait. You can't. And unlike roller skating, bowling has a clear objective. After all, this is bowling. There are rules.
The goal is to roll that heavy bowling ball into as many pins as you can. If you knock all 10 pins down in one go, that's a strike. Two tries, a spare. And if you get three strikes in a row, that, my friends, is called a turkey.
[TURKEY GOBBLE]
You get a point for every pin. And the player who gets the most points wins. It's that simple. And this sport has been on a roll for centuries. You see, humans just love throwing big, heavy balls around.
There was the Ulu Maika in Polynesia, where players threw disk-shaped stones down a path. The ancient Romans played a similar game called bocce. And German monks knocked down pins by tossing a stone ball as a spiritual ritual.
In fact, bowling was so much fun it got banned all the time. In 14th century England, soldiers were getting so distracted by bowling they slacked on practicing archery and other combat skills. So King Edward III made a bold move.
KING EDWARD III: As King, I banned thee from bowling. My soldiers must be prepared to fight in the war.
MAN 1: Oh, man. I mean, respectfully, your Highness, I'd rather score.
KING EDWARD III: Get it together, man.
MAX MALIGA: Flash forward to 19th century America.
MAN 2: See? People were having such a hootin' tootin' time bowling crowds were getting a bit rowdy. So the game of ninepins was outlawed.
MAX MALIGA: But people quickly found a way around the ban.
WOMAN 1: OK, OK, I know this year ninepins are illegal, but hear me out.
WOMAN 2: I'm listening.
WOMAN 1: What if we added a tenth pin? Problem solved.
WOMAN 2: Genius!
MAX MALIGA: Clearly, the ban's never lasted for long. And how could they? Bowling should be enjoyed by all. And now, it is. From your grandma to your best friend to Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2.
(SINGING) Let's go, let's go, let's rock and roll.
MAX MALIGA: And of course, The Dude from The Big Lebowski. You don't like bowling?
THE DUDE: Well, you know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.
MAX MALIGA: Bowling. Its charm has stood the test of time. It remains the perfect activity for a gathering with friends, family, or even for that very first date. I still love you, Amber. And really, anyone can enjoy it. All with a side of nachos. Now let's get things rolling and give a shout out to bowling!
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
MOLLY BLOOM: I feel like I'm at the bowling alley. So, Renika, what did you think about Max's Declaration of Greatness? What stood out to you? What really was striking to you? See what I did? Striking.
RENIKA: So I honestly never knew that bowling was actually banned. That really stood out to me. I was just like-- I was like, oh my God, why would they do that? And then, oh, they were so smart they added a tenth pin just to lift that ban. And now we get to bowl every day however we feel like, whenever we feel like.
MOLLY BLOOM: We have to thank those very clever people. Ashley, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to prove why Max's argument is all gutter balls. And your time starts now.
ASHLEY JAMES: Well, bowling is for anyone for at any age, but you can't do bowling any time or anywhere. You're strictly restricted to those buildings' hours. And then, at the same time, those bowling shoes, they don't really look as cool as roller skates. I mean, and you can't even wear them outside, either. And when it comes to-- when it comes to bowling-- when it comes to bowling, at the time--
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. Ashley, it's your turn now to tell us why roller skating is the radder pastime. Let's hear your Declaration of Greatness.
ASHLEY JAMES: What's cracking? This is your DJ, Ashley James. Today, I'm posting the grooviest roller disco you ever did see. Make your way to the floor to get your groove on while I spin these records and give you the lowdown on why roller skating is so cool. Can you dig it?
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Let's roll. In London in the 1760s, a young Belgian inventor named John Joseph Merlin designed the first roller skate.
JOHN JOSEPH MERLIN: I did, indeed.
ASHLEY JAMES: What's cracking, Mr. Merlin? Would you like to tell us about it?
JOHN JOSEPH MERLIN: But of course, monsieurs and mademoiselles, I present to you metal-wheeled boots, a new fun way to travel. My design features full metal rollers attached to a flat metal plate, which attaches directly to your boots using the little belt strap. This is far safer than ice skating.
So much so, I will now demonstrate whilst playing the violin. A one, a two, a three. See? No need to worry about accidents. My metal-wheeled boots are very safe. Whoa! Whoa!
[THUD]
Ow!
[GASPS]
ASHLEY JAMES: True story. Mr. Merlin once rolled into a party on his new skates and was showing off playing the violin when he crashed straight into an expensive mirror. He forgot to add brakes. Luckily, in 1863, an American inventor named James Plimpton designed a roller skate that allowed skaters to turn and move gracefully just like they were on ice, much like the modern four-wheeled skates you see today.
Now here's the real skinny on why roller skating eventually became popular. Plimpton was a great marketer. He advertised roller skating as a suitable activity for young men and women to do together without a chaperone, which means Victorian mamas and papas saw roller skating as a wholesome activity for young couples. No supervision required.
Roller skating meant freedom. Speaking of freedom y'all, roller skating has been a part of peaceful protest for decades. In 1963, a Black man named Ledger Smith, otherwise known as Roller Man, roller skated 685 miles from Chicago to Washington, D.C., to hear Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous "I Have a Dream" speech with a sign around his neck that read "Freedom."
During the Civil Rights movement, Black people were fighting for equal rights through various forms of protest. One of the first recorded sit-in protest was at a roller rink like this one. More recently, a roller skate protest party was hosted in San Francisco as a demonstration of peace and solidarity with the Asian community during COVID-19. Can you say, flower power, y'all?
Roller skating is also a funky form of exercise. You can burn about 300 calories by skating for 30 minutes. If you're practicing some tricks, it can even improve your flexibility and your sense of connection to your body. Plus, you'll be known as the cool dude that can do tricks in roller skates.
Roller rinks are places where music and parties collide. A popular roller rink in Atlanta, Georgia, called Cascade, hosted Beyoncé's 21st birthday. And she also filmed a music video here. If the Queen B has a roller skating birthday party and a roller skating music video, then you know it's cool.
Roller skating is, and will always be, the coolest because of these three things. It's a symbol of fun and freedom, it's got a jive in history, and it's the chillest of the chill. Don't be a hater, be a roller skater.
MOLLY BLOOM: A Declaration of Greatness that did way more than just take us round and round in circles. Renika, what stood out to you about Ashley's argument?
RENIKA: The Queen B had her party at a roller rink. OK, now, she's giving me ideas for my 18th birthday. I never knew that at all. I feel like that stood out to me. Also, he roller skated from Chicago to go see Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech? Oh.
ASHLEY JAMES: It's incredible.
RENIKA: Round of applause for him. I so happy he was. See, I'm learning a lot.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah. I mean, if it's good enough for Beyoncé, it's good enough for all of us.
RENIKA: It's good enough for my 18th birthday.
MOLLY BLOOM: I know. OK. Max, it is time for your rebuttal. Knock Ashley's argument down. You have 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
MAX MALIGA: OK. First things first, roller skating has no rules. It's chaos. What's your objective? What is the point? Tell me that. Secondly, you said it yourself. Injuries.
People get hurt. It causes more than 135,000 injuries per year. That's more than skateboarding. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? That's from Consumer Product Safety Commission.
Now, also, you said it was about bringing people together. It's not inclusive, because not everyone can do it. You've got to have exceptional balance. I'd say it's inaccessible, maybe even discriminatory. I don't know. I'm not saying roller skating is evil.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MAX MALIGA: Roller skating is saying that it is evil itself. I mean, it's saying that by itself.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah. I mean, if we're going to talk about discriminatory, bowling didn't allow women to bowl until 1917.
MAX MALIGA: Check mate.
RENIKA: Touché.
MAX MALIGA: I think that's check mate.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow. Very nice.
MOLLY BLOOM: I don't think you can CGI roller skates on Beyoncé.
MAX MALIGA: I don't think Beyoncé actually roller skates. I think Beyoncé is faking it. I think it's--
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my. This is a really tough debate. It's getting heated. But Renika, it's time for you to award some points. We want you to give one point to the Declaration of Greatness that you liked best and one point to your favorite rebuttal.
You get to decide what makes each one a winner. Rink about it. Did one side make you laugh? Did someone surprise you with unusual facts? It is up to you. Have you made your decision?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Ashley and Max, how are you feeling so far?
ASHLEY JAMES: I'm feeling pretty good. I feel my argument is pretty solid, I got some cool facts up in there.
MAX MALIGA: I was going to use a really bad bowling pun here, but I thought I'd spare you. I actually feel really great. I feel great. This is going fantastic.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, it's time for a quick break. Polish your ball or roll around the block.
RENIKA: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: What up, debaters? This is Taylor Lincoln. And I'm here with the catch up to my mustard--
TODD DOUGLAS: Todd Douglas. And boy, do we have a logical fallacy for you today.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Logical fallacies are debate doozies that diminish the power of your argument.
TODD DOUGLAS: And we just heard someone using the loaded question fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: The loaded question fallacy is when someone asks a question that has a built-in assumption. Basically, it means no matter how you answer, you sound guilty.
TODD DOUGLAS: Let's check it out.
HAZEL: In conclusion, that's why I would make an excellent student body president.
MODERATOR: OK. Any questions? Yes, Roger?
ROGER: Yeah. Hi, Hazel. I just want to know, when did you stop eating boogers?
HAZEL: What? I didn't stop eating buggers.
ROGER: Wait. So you still eat boogers?
HAZEL: Still? No, no, I never did in the first place.
ROGER: OK. Then why did you say you didn't stop eating them?
HAZEL: That's not what I meant and you know it. You're just trying to distract from what's important-- the issues. Nice try, pal.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yikes.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yikes, indeed.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Roger totally set his love with that booger malarkey.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yeah, he framed the question so it sounded like Hazel always ate her boogers, even though it was totally made up.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Right. Anyway you cut it, it already seems like you're guilty of eating your own boogs. You're trapped by the question.
TODD DOUGLAS: Yikes on bikes.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Totally. Watch out for those loaded questions, folks.
TODD DOUGLAS: And we'll catch you next time on--
BOTH: State of Debate.
Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
RENIKA: And I'm your judge, Renika.
MOLLY BLOOM: We love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's an epic idea we got from Simon.
SIMON: My debate idea is socks versus armpits.
RENIKA: Ooh, that'll be a fragrant debate.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sure would. We'll check back with Simon at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.
RENIKA: And now, it's back to today's debate, roller skating versus bowling.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round 2, the--
ANNOUNCER: Micro Round.
MOLLY BLOOM: Today's Micro Round challenge is called Miracle Medicine. We asked Ashley and Max to write a health care commercial showcasing their side's most healing qualities. Max went first last time. So Ashley, you're up. Let's hear your healing review of roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Life's hard, especially when you're trying to show off how awesome you are. Between posting TikToks of my dog and listening to my friends during their bad days, it's really hard to continue to be amazing. I felt seriously stuck until I spoke with my doctor about Rolling Star Skates.
MAN: Rolling Star Skates can help. When added to your regular personality, Rolling Star Skates improve people's awesome factor by 65%. So you can stay true to yourself and keep the good times rolling.
WOMAN 1: Rolling Star Skates can cause serious side effects when used in conjunction with social media, such as instant celebrity, positive comments, and haters.
WOMAN 2: In order for Rolling Star Skates to work, one must be wearing the skates. People may experience additional side effects such as living, laughing, and loving. Call your doctor if you experience a fall or break a hip, otherwise leave them alone. They're busy.
WOMAN 1: I'm glad my doctor helped me find a way to stay true to myself and get sponsored on TikTok.
ASHLEY JAMES: Ask your doctor today about Rolling Star Skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: We could all use more likes, favorites, comments in our lives. Max, it's your turn. Sell us the healthful benefits of bowling.
MAX MALIGA: Are you sick of everyone trying to force you to exercise? Do you, or someone you love, wish you could play a sport while drinking soda? If you answered yes to either of those questions, Bowler Max might be for you.
Bowler Max is the new/extremely old wonder drug from the makers of Frisbeeprofin. After quadruple, double-blind studies, studies so blind we didn't actually do them, we found that 10 out of 10 Americans like to eat food, drink drinks, play sports, or watch TV. With Bowler Max, you can do all four at the same time!
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[EATING NACHOS]
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[SIPPING DRINK]
For some drugs like Rollerskaticilin, eating food, drinking drinks, or watching TV are not recommended while using. And to use Rollerskaticilin, users need to have exceptional balance or they may get injured. Bowler Max provides everyone, ages 3 to 103, a fun, safe way to get moving with friends.
[BOWLING PINS FALLING]
[CHEERS]
That's right. You can say goodbye to injuries, bullies, and social anxiety. By using patented, reverse peer pressure-based technology, Bowler Max effectively levels the playing field by forcing everyone to cheer for each other no matter how many gutter balls they throw.
[BOWLING BALL ROLLING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[CHEERS]
Side effects may include an increase in arcades, better hand-eye coordination, and stronger forearms. Warning. Some tweens experienced their first kiss while using Bowler Max. Bowler Max, it's time to start enjoying your mild to moderate exercise.
MOLLY BLOOM: A sport for multitaskers. Renika, what stood out to you about Ashley and Max's sales pitches there?
RENIKA: The commercials are so funny.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Very persuasive.
RENIKA: Right? I was like, where can I get these? I really want to try that out. But they both--
MAX MALIGA: Think about the forearms, Renika. Think about the forearms.
RENIKA: Upper body strength? Yes. I've been thinking about going to the gym to get that upper body strength. Maybe I should take a Bowler Max and just get that right there.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, this is going to be a tough decision. But again, Renika, the criteria is up to you. Which one sounded more appealing, which one taught you something, which one made you laugh? Have you awarded a point?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
ANNOUNCER: Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: Your challenge is Secret Handshake. Ashley, Max, we want you to come up with a secret handshake for your side and then talk us through how to do it. Remember, this is a podcast.
They can't see us. You're going to have to describe it super well. What makes this secret handshake so cool? Does this challenge make sense?
ASHLEY JAMES: Yes.
MAX MALIGA: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Ashley went first last time. So max, you're up first. Bowl us over with your rad greeting.
MAX MALIGA: OK. Well, the bowling alley is the perfect place for a secret handshake. Every time you bowl a ball, you come back and get to be with your friends again. So you have this great, fantastic opportunity to do a super cool handshake. Now, what I'm visioning here is the end of a bowling shot.
You just hit a strike or through a gutter ball, it doesn't matter. That's the beauty of bowling. You come back to your friend, they're waiting for you. They stick their hand out, start with a classic sliding hammer. If you don't know what sliding hammer is, stick your arm out, pull it back, say, "sliding" and form a fist, pull the fist forward, say, "hammer," then spin.
And then jump up. And the back person goes through the legs of the first person. And then you do a side to side. You're with me. You see it, right? A little bit of snapping there. And then you turn around and do a finger tickle, and you say, "bowling!"
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Wow. A full-body secret handshake. It's more like a secret body shake.
MAX MALIGA: Well, it's got to be full body.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm into it. Because bowling is all about mild to moderate exercise, after all. All right. Ashley, it's your turn. Walk us through your roller skating shake.
ASHLEY JAMES: Perfect. So for the roller skating secret handshake, it's going to be a straight jam. And you can do this anywhere. You can do this at a roller rink, you can do this at a tennis court, outside. Wherever you want, it can be done.
And so what you do is when you get together with your friends after you do a cool skate down the road or whether you're just skating along or you're just having just a good time on roller skates with your friends, you turn to each other and you give each other a big, old high five, but then you miss on purpose. But then you give each other a low five. And you go, "whoa!"
And then you do a wave with your arms like you see at those sports games. And you go like, "woo!" like a big old wave together. And then you tap your roller skates together, and then you point at each other and you say, "who runs the world?" And then you pause and you go, "we do."
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHING]
Oh, it's very affirming.
MAX MALIGA: That just sounds like an injury waiting to happen. I just got to-- I mean, I could just-- thinking about it.
ASHLEY JAMES: I mean, with bowling, you can only do it at a bowling alley. This, my secret handshake could be done anywhere, any time. We're not restricted to just lanes.
MAX MALIGA: I don't know. I'm pretty sure you could go to people's legs anywhere.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Renika, this is another tough decision for you to make. But it's time to award your fourth point. Which handshake wowed you? Again, the criteria is up to you. Award that team a point. Have you made your decision?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then it's time for our very final around.
ANNOUNCER: The Final 6.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ashley, you've got just six words to win Renika over. Tell us why we should all have a love-skate relationship to roller skating.
ASHLEY JAMES: Keep calm and skate on.
MOLLY BLOOM: Simple. Didn't even need all six words. Max, it's your turn. Let's see you strike with your final six.
MAX MALIGA: Skaters fall, bowlers do it all.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another thinker. All right. This debate has been a rolly-bowly ball, but who will win? There's only one person who can make the call. Renika, have you awarded your final point?
RENIKA: I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tally them up. Drumroll, please.
[DRUMROLL]
The winner is--
RENIKA: Bowling!
MAX MALIGA: Whoo! That's a strike.
ASHLEY JAMES: Oh, man.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. All right. Renika, was there a moment that decided things for you?
RENIKA: The moment that really put it all together was the iconic six-word statement. It sounded very much like a very good aesthetic Instagram caption.
[LAUGHTER]
I must say, though, the Declaration of Greatness, roller skating really won me over with that one.
MAX MALIGA: Yeah. Me too, Ashley. That Declaration of Greatness was just killer I was shaking in my boots. I was scared. I was trying to come up with something.
[LAUGHTER]
I just, throughout the whole time, I just loved-- every time I said something, you had a great comeback for me. And I was just like, OK, I'm going to keep rolling. I'm doing fine. I'm OK, I'm not scared.
ASHLEY JAMES: Yeah, I liked Max's Declaration of Greatness. And also, his commercial got me, too. I was like, oh my gosh. How could I follow that?
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it was a tough debate today. You both did amazing. I want to go bowling and roller skating. Can I do them both at the same time? Probably not safe, but maybe I'll try it later. That is it for today's debate battle. Renika crowned bowling the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
RENIKA: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
ASHLEY JAMES: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rose Dupont, Ruby Guthrie, and Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Kevin McMenamy, Gary O'Keefe, Alexander Simpson, and Michael Peterson.
MAX MALIGA: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield, Mark Sanchez, and, the one and only, Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Shaffer, and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Brant Miller, Oluwatoyin Kupoluyi, Peter Ecklund, Austin Cross, and Taylor Coffman. Max, do you have anyone you'd like to thank today?
MAX MALIGA: Oh, I got to give a big shout out to my niece and nephew, Arlo and Luna, who-- I told them I was going to do this thing. And Arlo said, you better bring your A-game. So I really hope it made you two proud today out there. I love you so much.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Ashley? Any special shout outs?
ASHLEY JAMES: Yes. Special shout out to my husband for helping me gather all my thoughts on this and then also to Quad Republic skate shop in El Cerrito, California. They helped me pick out my first pair of roller skates.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, that's awesome. What do they look like?
ASHLEY JAMES: Oh, they're lavender. It was nice lavender wheels.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds amazing. All right. Renika, do you want to give any special thanks today?
RENIKA: I want to say thank you to Mira who put me on to Smash Boom Best, so I could be here. And also, thank you to Rosie.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, you did such a great job today. All right. Before we go, let's check in with Simon about his socks versus armpits debate.
SIMON: I think socks would win because they're stinky.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown, drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Ta-ta!
ASHLEY JAMES: Adios.
MAX MALIGA: Buongiorno.
[THEME MUSIC]
What kind of cat goes bowling?
MOLLY BLOOM: What kind?
MAX MALIGA: An alley cat.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
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