Godfrey Hibbert
September 15, 2022
Peanut Butter vs. Marshmallows
Subscribe
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Amazon Music
iHeart
TuneIn
YouTube
RSSToday’s debate is fluffy, crunchy, and extra delicious. It’s peanut butter vs. marshmallows! Writer and producer Jeff Nucera champions the power of creamy, dreamy peanut butter in this salty smackdown with writer and marshmallow lover Tea Ho! Which snack will succeed? The crunchy spread that packs a punch? Or the plump white puffs we love to roast?
Vote below for the team YOU think won!
This episode was sponsored by:
Outschool.com/smashboom – To save $15 on your child’s first class
Everyplate.com - enter code "smashboom149" to get your first box for $1.49 per meal
Audio Transcript
Download transcript (PDF)
ANNOUNCER: From the brains behind Brains On! It's Smash Boom Best.
OLUWATOYIN: The show for people with big opinions.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and you're listening to Smash Boom Best. The show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is fluffy, crunchy, and extra delicious. It's peanut butter versus marshmallows. We've got writer and producer, Jeff Nucera, on mic, championing the power of creamy, dreamy peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's spread the love for peanut butter.
MOLLY BLOOM: And writer Tea Ho is ready to praise the pillowy perfection of marshmallows.
TEA HO: Puff puff, pals. Marshmallows in the house.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Which team will win? That salty spread that packs a punch or the plump white puffs we love to roast. This will be a tricky one. We've got Oluwatoyin from Long Island, New York, here to help us decide. Oluwatoyin is a slam poet, has a pet plant named Valentine, and likes jalapenos and pineapple on her pizza. Hi, Oluwatoyin.
OLUWATOYIN: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. So, Oluwatoyin, what do you think of these two fabulous foods? What comes to mind when I say peanut butter?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Peanut butter sandwiches.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mmm. Do you put anything else on besides the peanut butter?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Let's see. No. I just like jelly. But I like grape jelly or raspberry jelly.
MOLLY BLOOM: Delicious. And what about marshmallows? What comes to mind there?
OLUWATOYIN: Hot chocolate. Rice Krispies Treats. Eating them out of the bag.
MOLLY BLOOM: So we're liking marshmallows. So if peanut butter and marshmallows were superheroes, what do you think their superpowers would be? Let's start with peanut butter.
OLUWATOYIN: I feel like peanut butter will have the magic power of getting things flooding. You know how cement moves and just gets things around and around your feet and just stuck there, because we ever-- have you ever ate a peanut butter sandwich and it's just like chunky and all in your mouth and very uh? Yeah, I feel like that would be its power.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Now, what about marshmallows?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. I feel like marshmallows will have a Spider-Man-typey power. Sticky. I could probably climb walls with the sticky powers. I feel like marshmallow would be the type to swing around from marshmallow strings and stick to people's walls.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: It sounds like a very useful superpower. So, Oluwatoyin, are you ready to get this tasty debate started?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Let's review the rules of the game. Round 1 is the declaration of greatness, where our debaters present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side, and they each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponents' statements. Then, we've got the micro round where each team will present a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Round 3 is the sneak attack where our debaters will have to respond to an improv challenge on the spot.
And to wrap it all up, we've got the final six where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Our judge, Oluwatoyin, will award two points in the first round, one for her favorite rebuttal, the other for the declaration she liked best. She'll award one point in each round after that, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won.
All right. Jeff, Tea, and Oluwatoyin, are you ready?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
JEFF NUCERA: Stick a spoon in me. Let's go.
[LAUGHTER]
OLUWATOYIN: I'm feeling sweet. I'm feeling psyched. I'm ready to go.
MOLLY BLOOM: Awesome. Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: --declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: We flipped a coin, and Jeff, you're up first. Tell us why peanut butter is the Smash Boom Best.
JEFF NUCERA: Warning, the following declaration of greatness contains peanuts. Please proceed with caution.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Did you know the average person eats nearly 3,000 PB and J sandwiches over their lifespan? If you stack them all up, they'd be taller than the Statue of Liberty. Hi, I'm lead researcher Skippy Jefferson, and that's just one of the many discoveries we've made here at the International Peanut Butter Research Institute where we spread knowledge through thick and thick.
Today, I'll be taking you through our state-of-the-art facilities in the hopes that you'll join our team as we uncover the past, present, and future of the tasty treat that is in 75% of American households right now. Peanut butter. Joining me in our Peter Pan Presidential Library is our resident historian, Dr. PB Baker. Doctor?
PB BAKER: Skippy.
JEFF NUCERA: Wow. Look at all these classic books. The Catcher in the Rye Bread, Grape Expectations. Oh, my favorite. The Adventures of Huckleberry Jam. This place is huge. How would a new recruit navigate this vast collection?
PB BAKER: By using our new Catalog Hunting Engine With Intelligence, also known as the CHEWI decimal system. Just ask a question, and CHEWI does the rest. Give it a try.
JEFF NUCERA: OK. CHEWI, when did humans first start eating peanut butter?
CHEWI: Humans have been eating some form of peanut butter for at least 3,000 years. The earliest known reference to it is from the ancient Aztecs, who roasted peanuts and ground them into a paste. Now available in our cafeteria.
JEFF NUCERA: Mmm. And what a tasty paste it is.
PB BAKER: There's no eating in the library.
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, sorry, doctor. Oh, it's just so good.
PB BAKER: It's OK. I understand but peanut butter isn't just delicious. It's healthy too. Check out this study from University of Michigan School of Public Health. They researched thousands of foods and how they affect our lifespan. They found that some meals actively make our lives healthier and others, well, not so much.
For example, one PB and J sandwich could actually add up to 33 minutes of healthy time to our lives. And it's no surprise. Peanut butter is packed with protein which promotes muscle growth and bone strength.
JEFF NUCERA: Wow. 33 minutes per sandwich? I might live forever. Hey, what does the study say about other foods like, I don't know, marshmallows?
PB BAKER: Well, it says here that sweets could actually take up to 10 to 20 minutes of life away.
JEFF NUCERA: So I guess it's fair to say that according to science marshmallows are just basically soft, fluffy, killers.
PB BAKER: Yeah, more like harshmallows. Am I right?
JEFF NUCERA: Absolutely. Those things are the worst. Unlike peanut butter, which not only keeps us alive but did you know it can actually be used to cleanse your soul?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PB BAKER: It can.
JEFF NUCERA: Yes, your shoe sole, that is. If you step in gum, just rub some peanut butter on the bottom of your shoe and after a short wait, scrape that gum right off.
PB BAKER: Wow. So tasty, so versatile, so perfect.
JEFF NUCERA: And let's not forget, it's also fun to work with. Just ask anyone at the International Peanut Butter Research Institute. Right, CHEWI?
CHEWI: Correct, Skippy Jefferson. So please consider joining the team at IPBRI--
CHEWI, JEFF NUCERA, AND PB BAKER: --where our door is always ajar.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A very smooth declaration of greatness with some facts that'll really stick with me. So, Oluwatoyin, what do you think of this declaration of greatness? What stood out to you here?
OLUWATOYIN: I really loved to hear that the average person eats over 3,000 peanut butter sandwiches in a lifetime because I do not like peanut butter sandwiches. So I guess I'm not one of the average people. I think I've ate in 10 or 12 in my lifetime. But it was interesting to hear that sweets can take over 10 to 20 minutes of your lifetime away, which is very interesting to hear because maybe that lets me know I should eat less sweets if I want to live a little longer.
But it was also really nice to hear that humans have been eating peanut butter for over 3,000 years. I did not know that.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's definitely withstood the test of time. But now, Tea, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to roast Jeff's argument. And your time starts now.
TEA HO: Well, friends, I'm hearing a lot of health concerns about marshmallows versus peanut butter, but most peanut butter that Americans eat has plenty of sugar added to it. In fact, one serving of peanut butter has 75% of the sugar that one marshmallow does, but what's going to make you happier, using your hand to scoop out up oopy-goopy peanut butter and putting it in your mouth or tossing a perfect, puffy marshmallow and chewing up that baby.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
JEFF NUCERA: I do not condone chewing up babies.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: I shouldn't have called it that.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tea, it is your turn. Tell us why marshmallows are the superior snack.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TEA HO: Hey, come join me by the fire. I saved a seat just for you. What better place to talk about magnificent marshmallows than sitting around a roasty, toasty campfire? Here, take a marshmallow. Take a bite. It's like biting into a sugar pillow, a sweet cloud. It's light, airy, fluffy, yet chewy, and just the right amount of squish.
And that's all before you even toast it. Peanut butter on the other hand--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
--don't try to toast it unless you want a burning sludge monster on your hands. Try to eat a spoonful, and it'll stick to the roof of your mouth. Is that a snack? More like a punishment. But marshmallow texture is supreme. Mmm. Hmm. Mmm. Hmm. OK, while we roast these, let me tell you where marshmallows all began.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Marshmallows were originally made from the marshmallow plant a.k.a. Althea officinalis. The plant is native to Europe, Northern Africa, and Western Asia. Even though you know marshmallows as adorable little puff balls, the marshmallow plant is more than adorable. It's gorgeous. It has a white flower, pink center, and it grows in marshes. Hence, marshmallow. Yep, much like our beloved Shrek, this icon hails from a swamp.
And the swamp sweet was popular with the ancient Egyptians who boiled the mallow root with honey to make candies fit only for royalty and the gods. The mallow root wasn't just a tasty treat. People also believed it was medicinal. From the ancient Greeks to the European Renaissance, people used the marshmallow plant to treat sore throats, coughs, indigestion. You name it. It was even used for love potions. Maybe that's why I love marshmallows.
MAN: Art thou suffering from toothacheth, upset stomacheth, down on your lucketh? Doth I suggesteth marshmallow. It cures most. Not to mention, it'll totes help with your loveth life.
TEA HO: Now, the modern marshmallow started taking shape in 19th century France. Confectioners whipped up the mallow root with egg whites and sugar to make the fluffy treats we're familiar with today. Eventually, the root was replaced with gelatin to make sure the confections stayed fresh longer. And this is when marshmallows really took off.
As sugar became more widely accessible around the turn of the century, marshmallow rose became all the rage in the US. They were the summer beach activity.
WOMAN: Grab a stick and get roasting. It's a jolly old time.
TEA HO: That's the beauty of marshmallows. They're not just the snack or medicine, they're an activity. Whether it's gathering around the campfire with friends, crafting a marshmallow snowman to dunking hot chocolate or just chucking them at your siblings, they're endless fun. What can't marshmallows do?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Marshmallows are also part of the juggernaut of tasty treats. S'mores, a toasted marshmallow and piece of melty chocolate, all sandwiched between two crunchy graham crackers. Yum. Although we don't know who exactly invented this champion combo, the Girl Scouts of America were the first ones to publish a recipe in their 1927 handbook.
The name is thought to come from the phrase--
WOMAN: Give me some more, some more, s'more.
TEA HO: Speaking of, I think our marshmallows are done. Wow. Look at that. Perfectly golden brown. I'm going to eat mine fresh off the stick.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Ooh. Ooey-gooey, caramelized perfection. So if you're looking for a supremely dreamy, interactive treat that's been enjoyed for centuries, look no further than the marshmallow. Marshmallows. They just took a DNA test and turns out they are 100% bapsquish.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: A sweet and very lovely declaration of greatness for marshmallows there. Oluwatoyin, what stood out to you about Tea's arguments?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. What most definitely stood out to me is that marshmallows were originally made from plants. I did not know that. And they grew in marshes and swamps. That was really cool. And it was amazing to learn that those plants were used in different ways even in medicine. That was interesting, and it's good to know where s'mores actually came from.
So it was interesting just to mention peanut butter cannot be put in s'mores. It's not necessarily toastable. So--
TEA HO: That's true.
MOLLY BLOOM: We are learning a lot today. But now, Jeff, it's time for your rebuttal. Turn Tea's argument into goo. You have 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
JEFF NUCERA: Who wants to eat food off of a stick? Not me. For peanut butter, we use spoons and I'm down for that. In theory, you could eat peanut butter every day for every meal and it will keep you alive. But if you eat swampy marshmallows every day, your teeth will probably fall out and then what will you eat? Oh, I know. Peanut butter. And soup, probably.
One time, I had a dream that I ate a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone and it was very traumatic.
[LAUGHTER]
Plus, have you--
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
[LAUGHTER]
I really want to know more.
TEA HO: Sounds like you wanted to eat a marshmallow. Sounds like marshmallows are a dream, Jeff.
JEFF NUCERA: Hmm. Sounds like a nightmare to me.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Oluwatoyin, it is time to award some points here. You can give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to your favorite rebuttal. So you get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one side woo you with their funny facts, tickle you with historical tales, made you a little bit hungry? Again, the criteria is totally up to you. Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes. I made my decision.
[BELL SOUND]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tea and Jeff, how are you feeling so far?
JEFF NUCERA: I'm excited. I'm looking forward to seeing sand-which way this debate will go.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: I'm fired up. I'm ready for s'more.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right then. We are going to take a very quick break. Take a bite of a scrumptious s'more or dig into a peanut butter sandwich.
OLUWATOYIN: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER 2: You're watching State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, hey, hey. Debate-heads, it's me. Your old pal, Todd Douglas, here with my oldest ever, best pal for life, Taylor Lincoln.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Oh, Todd. You're my OEBPFL too.
TODD DOUGLAS: Are you wearing your oldest ever, best pal for life bracelet today?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Of course.
TODD DOUGLAS: Me too. Taylor and I love to wear matching bracelets almost as much as we love talking logical fallacies.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: OMG, OEBFL. Do we ever? Got to be on the lookout for those LFs. They're misleading and make your arguments weak.
TODD DOUGLAS: Today's LF a.k.a. logical fallacy is special pleading. We spotted this one at the Gupta family dinner table.
ISHANI: Oh, dad, I got to show you this video Andy sent me. This guy chugs a bunch of fizzy water and it causes the most massive burp of all time. And it freaks him out and then--
WOMAN: Ishani, no phones at the dinner table.
ISHANI: Mom, come on. This video is so funny. Trust me, you guys will love it. Just watch it--
MAN 2: Yeah, whatever. We can watch it after dinner.
WOMAN: Family dinner is the time when we can chat and eat and look into one another's eyes without a phone blocking the view.
ISHANI: Oh, OK, fine.
WOMAN: So, Ishani, what happened at school today? How did that--
[PHONE RINGING SOUND]
Oh, sorry. Let me just check this real quick.
ISHANI: Mom. No phones at the dinner table. Remember?
WOMAN: Oh, but it's your Aunt Deedee. I need to answer it. This'll just take one second.
ISHANI: Mom.
WOMAN: I know I said no phones at the dinner table, but this is important.
ISHANI: Oh, really? What does she want to know then?
WOMAN: Ah, well, she wanted to know the recipe for those brownies I made last week.
ISHANI: Oh, not cool, mom.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Oh boy. Ishani took the words right out of my mouth. Not cool, mom. Not cool.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: OMG, OEBPFL. Do we ever?
TODD DOUGLAS: My OEBPFL knows what's up.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You KWU too, Todd. And that's it for today's State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MAN: Smash boom best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
OLUWATOYIN: And I'm your judge, Oluwatoyin.
MOLLY BLOOM: We love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's an epic idea we got from Alexander in Mokena, Illinois.
ALEXANDER: My idea, chicken nuggets versus cheeseburgers.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Alexander at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.
OLUWATOYIN: And now, it's back to today's debates. Peanut butter versus marshmallows.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right, and it's time for round 2, the--
[SYNTH VOICE SAYING "MICRO"]
ANNOUNCER: Micro round.
[BELL SOUND]
MOLLY BLOOM: Today's micro round challenge is called Sonnet Slam. We asked Tea and Jeff to write a sonnet showcasing their site's best qualities like William Shakespeare would have written. Jeff went first last time so, Tea, you're up. Let's hear your airy ode to the marshmallow.
TEA HO: I shiver 'neath the stars, camping alone, without so much a friend to lean upon. But then a bag of marshmallows my own appear. And with them, all my sadness gone. A marshmallow is the perfect brand new pal. So soft and bouncy, fun to eat or throw. They're round and cute and puffy like a cloud with toothpicks. You can build a man of snow. Perfection as they are or in a s'more.
Just look at how they toast upon warm fire. I don't know why you'd want anything more. They'll cheer up anybody, even criers.
[CRYING SOUND EFFECT]
I was alone, but with these puffs I'm whole for every bite warms up my heart and soul.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, that was very lovely. All right, Jeff, it's your turn. Let's hear your perfect verse for peanut butter.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, peanut butter. How I do munch thee with jelly or in chocolatey cup. It can be smooth and silky or crunchy. A thousand and one ways to eat you up with or without a crust on my white bread. Perfect for dinner, breakfast, lunch, or snack. This peanuty goop is my favorite spread. If you don't eat it, I will give you flak. Let's run it through a blender with some fruit--
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
--bananas, apples, and/or berries. Yum. This treat is worthy of a big salute. It's so delish, I will eat every crumb. I know today you'll hear a bunch of stuff, but keep in mind, marshmallows are just fluff.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. These sonnets are really elevating these two delicious foods today. Oluwatoyin, what did you like about Tea and Jeff's micro rounds here?
OLUWATOYIN: Oh my god. I love them both. I'm a poet. So I feel like it's good for me to judge other people's poems, and--
MOLLY BLOOM: Definitely.
OLUWATOYIN: --I love them both. They didn't necessarily-- both of them didn't necessarily rhyme, but they rhyme, if you get what I mean, and they flowed. It wasn't like little Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, and I liked that. I liked both of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sophisticated.
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Hmm. This is going to be hard.
MOLLY BLOOM: As a poet, what do you think makes a good poem?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. A good poem. I feel like the most important thing in a poem is the first line. The first line. It has to perfectly grab the reader's attention. The same way you write an essay. If your first line is trash, you're just not going to read it. So if your first line in a poem is good, you're going to want to continue. So I always make sure my first line is the best line in the poem.
MOLLY BLOOM: First impressions are important. Have you written a sonnet?
OLUWATOYIN: No, I write slam poetry. I'm a slam poet.
MOLLY BLOOM: Could you say what slam poetry is for people who might not know?
OLUWATOYIN: OK. Slam poetry is more performative poetry. So you get to compete. I'm actually on the New York City Slam Team for poetry which is really cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
OLUWATOYIN: So you get to compete for poetry and it's more poetry that you say out loud. So you could think of-- I like to think of Martin Luther King as a poet. Some people might not agree with that. Some people don't. But type of like that. Saying your poetry out loud. Like Amanda Gorman. She is, in a way, a slam poet.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, because poetry doesn't have to rhyme necessarily. It just has to have pleasing rhythm and interesting sounds and a strong message.
OLUWATOYIN: Exactly.
MOLLY BLOOM: I love it. Well, as a poet, I'm very interested to know who your point will go to but don't tell us. It's time to award a point. The criteria is up to you. Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: I think Jeff and Tea should both feel really good that you're having a hard time deciding.
[LAUGHTER]
OLUWATOYIN: You should, you should. OK. Yes.
[BELL RINGING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. And it's time for our third round, the Super Stealthy--
[KUNG FU VOCALIZING]
--Sneak Attack. Your challenge is initial thoughts. We are getting very poetic in this debate, and we want you to write an acrostic poem for your side. That's a poem where the initial letter of each line spells out a word or phrase. For example, if you were Team Map, you might write this acrostic. M, move. A, around. P, purposefully. Or maybe those letters would stand for a phrase. It's up to you.
So peanut butter and marshmallows are both 12 letters. So it's a very even match-up. Tea and Jeff, does this make sense?
TEA HO: Yeah.
JEFF NUCERA: It does.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. OK. So, Tea, went first last time so, Jeff, you are up first. Let's hear your acrostic poem for peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Peanut butter, eating a nut unearthed. Tasty but--
[LAUGHTER]
--but unusually, the thick edible raspberry jelly is delicious.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: Peanut butterged.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: I love it. All right, Tea. Your turn. Let's hear your acrostic for marshmallows.
TEA HO: M is for merriment. A is for amazing activities. R is for roasty. S is for sweet. H is for happiness in a single bite. M is for mmm mmm good. A is for always bounces back. L is for love. L is for light. O is for objectively delicious. W is for wonderful. And S is for sublime.
MOLLY BLOOM: Delightful. Delightful.
[LAUGHTER]
All right. Oluwatoyin, we need your fabulous poetry skills yet again--
OLUWATOYIN: OK, OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: --to award this fourth point. Criteria up to you. Did one flow? Did one take you somewhere, transports you to a land of peanut butter or marshmallows? Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
[BELL RINGING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then, it's time for our final around.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tea, you've got just six words to win Oluwatoyin over. Sum up why marshmallows are the smash boom best.
TEA HO: Marshmallow clouds dream of a future.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh. Very nice. Jeff, it's your turn. Give us six words that prove peanut butter deserves the crown.
JEFF NUCERA: Marshmallows got pea-nuttin' on peanut butter.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Right. This debate has been delicious. I want s'more, but we're all out of time. Oluwatoyin, are you ready to make your final decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Not yet. I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now. OK, OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: Go with your gut.
TEA HO: I know what my gut's craving.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you awarded your final point?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. All right. So then tally up the points that have been rewarded. Drum roll, please.
[DRUMROLL]
Today's winner is--
[DRUMROLL]
OLUWATOYIN: Peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Hurray.
TEA HO: No.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's all eat PB and yay sandwiches.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh man. So, Oluwatoyin, was there a moment that really decided it for you?
OLUWATOYIN: OK. So you guys were tied at the end. But then I felt like his six words made me laugh. I thought the pun was funny, and I'm a very competitive person. So he went-- he more attacked marshmallow than talked about himself-ish, which I think I liked.
MOLLY BLOOM: You liked that.
OLUWATOYIN: It was hard though because I did like marshmallows. I was like, oh my gosh.
MOLLY BLOOM: I mean, it sounds-- if it was tied up to the very end, that was a close, close, close debate.
OLUWATOYIN: Yes. Yes, it was.
TEA HO: Though, OK, marshmallow lost, marshmallows always bounce back.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, yes they do.
OLUWATOYIN: OK. Yes. Yes, they do.
[LAUGHTER]
JEFF NUCERA: I really thought you were going to win because you made marshmallows sound so delicious.
TEA HO: Thank you, Jeff. Look, I came in ready to talk about how much peanut butter looked like poop but--
[LAUGHTER]
--but your arguments have really stuck with me just like peanut butter.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's join forces and have a fluffernutter sandwich. Shall we?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes, that sounds great.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ah, I'm there. I'm for it. Are we doing crunchy peanut butter or smooth peanut butter?
JEFF NUCERA: Smooth, always.
OLUWATOYIN: Smooth, duh.
TEA HO: Crunchy. I'm Team Crunchy.
OLUWATOYIN: Ew.
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, no.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another debate.
OLUWATOYIN: Boom.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for today's debate battle. Oluwatoyin crowned peanut butter to Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
OLUWATOYIN: Head to smashboom.org to vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On! and APM Studios.
TEA HO: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rosie Dupont, Ruby Guthrie, and Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Jess Berg, Violet Fertig, and Maya Sastik.
JEFF NUCERA: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield, Marc Sanchez, and Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith. We'd like to give a special thanks to our announcer Marlee [INAUDIBLE], Taylor Kaufmann, and Austin Kross. Jeff, is there anyone you would like to thank today?
JEFF NUCERA: I'd like to thank my sister Donna and my close personal friend Adriana Yugovich.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. And, Tea, how about you? Any special shout-outs?
TEA HO: I'd like to thank my pup Remy and my partner Patrick, Jet Puff, and the Girl Scouts.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. And, Oluwatoyin, do you want to give any special thanks today?
OLUWATOYIN: Thank you to Urban Word for giving me this opportunity and to my parents.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, awesome. Well, before we go, let's check in with Alexander about his cheeseburger versus chicken nuggets debate.
ALEXANDER: I think cheeseburgers would win because you can have all the food groups in it and the sauce is already in it. You don't have to dip. They are also my favorite food.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Bye-bye.
TEA HO: Bye.
JEFF NUCERA: All right. Sayonara.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SINGER: (SINGING) Oh, you're the smash boom best. Oh, put you through the test. Oh, you're the smash boom best. Oh better than the rest. It's smash boom best. It's smash boom best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
OLUWATOYIN: The show for people with big opinions.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and you're listening to Smash Boom Best. The show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is fluffy, crunchy, and extra delicious. It's peanut butter versus marshmallows. We've got writer and producer, Jeff Nucera, on mic, championing the power of creamy, dreamy peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's spread the love for peanut butter.
MOLLY BLOOM: And writer Tea Ho is ready to praise the pillowy perfection of marshmallows.
TEA HO: Puff puff, pals. Marshmallows in the house.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Which team will win? That salty spread that packs a punch or the plump white puffs we love to roast. This will be a tricky one. We've got Oluwatoyin from Long Island, New York, here to help us decide. Oluwatoyin is a slam poet, has a pet plant named Valentine, and likes jalapenos and pineapple on her pizza. Hi, Oluwatoyin.
OLUWATOYIN: Hi.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. So, Oluwatoyin, what do you think of these two fabulous foods? What comes to mind when I say peanut butter?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Peanut butter sandwiches.
MOLLY BLOOM: Mmm. Do you put anything else on besides the peanut butter?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Let's see. No. I just like jelly. But I like grape jelly or raspberry jelly.
MOLLY BLOOM: Delicious. And what about marshmallows? What comes to mind there?
OLUWATOYIN: Hot chocolate. Rice Krispies Treats. Eating them out of the bag.
MOLLY BLOOM: So we're liking marshmallows. So if peanut butter and marshmallows were superheroes, what do you think their superpowers would be? Let's start with peanut butter.
OLUWATOYIN: I feel like peanut butter will have the magic power of getting things flooding. You know how cement moves and just gets things around and around your feet and just stuck there, because we ever-- have you ever ate a peanut butter sandwich and it's just like chunky and all in your mouth and very uh? Yeah, I feel like that would be its power.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Now, what about marshmallows?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. I feel like marshmallows will have a Spider-Man-typey power. Sticky. I could probably climb walls with the sticky powers. I feel like marshmallow would be the type to swing around from marshmallow strings and stick to people's walls.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: It sounds like a very useful superpower. So, Oluwatoyin, are you ready to get this tasty debate started?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Let's review the rules of the game. Round 1 is the declaration of greatness, where our debaters present fact-filled arguments in favor of their side, and they each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponents' statements. Then, we've got the micro round where each team will present a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. Round 3 is the sneak attack where our debaters will have to respond to an improv challenge on the spot.
And to wrap it all up, we've got the final six where each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Our judge, Oluwatoyin, will award two points in the first round, one for her favorite rebuttal, the other for the declaration she liked best. She'll award one point in each round after that, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won.
All right. Jeff, Tea, and Oluwatoyin, are you ready?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
JEFF NUCERA: Stick a spoon in me. Let's go.
[LAUGHTER]
OLUWATOYIN: I'm feeling sweet. I'm feeling psyched. I'm ready to go.
MOLLY BLOOM: Awesome. Then it's time for the--
ANNOUNCER: --declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: We flipped a coin, and Jeff, you're up first. Tell us why peanut butter is the Smash Boom Best.
JEFF NUCERA: Warning, the following declaration of greatness contains peanuts. Please proceed with caution.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Did you know the average person eats nearly 3,000 PB and J sandwiches over their lifespan? If you stack them all up, they'd be taller than the Statue of Liberty. Hi, I'm lead researcher Skippy Jefferson, and that's just one of the many discoveries we've made here at the International Peanut Butter Research Institute where we spread knowledge through thick and thick.
Today, I'll be taking you through our state-of-the-art facilities in the hopes that you'll join our team as we uncover the past, present, and future of the tasty treat that is in 75% of American households right now. Peanut butter. Joining me in our Peter Pan Presidential Library is our resident historian, Dr. PB Baker. Doctor?
PB BAKER: Skippy.
JEFF NUCERA: Wow. Look at all these classic books. The Catcher in the Rye Bread, Grape Expectations. Oh, my favorite. The Adventures of Huckleberry Jam. This place is huge. How would a new recruit navigate this vast collection?
PB BAKER: By using our new Catalog Hunting Engine With Intelligence, also known as the CHEWI decimal system. Just ask a question, and CHEWI does the rest. Give it a try.
JEFF NUCERA: OK. CHEWI, when did humans first start eating peanut butter?
CHEWI: Humans have been eating some form of peanut butter for at least 3,000 years. The earliest known reference to it is from the ancient Aztecs, who roasted peanuts and ground them into a paste. Now available in our cafeteria.
JEFF NUCERA: Mmm. And what a tasty paste it is.
PB BAKER: There's no eating in the library.
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, sorry, doctor. Oh, it's just so good.
PB BAKER: It's OK. I understand but peanut butter isn't just delicious. It's healthy too. Check out this study from University of Michigan School of Public Health. They researched thousands of foods and how they affect our lifespan. They found that some meals actively make our lives healthier and others, well, not so much.
For example, one PB and J sandwich could actually add up to 33 minutes of healthy time to our lives. And it's no surprise. Peanut butter is packed with protein which promotes muscle growth and bone strength.
JEFF NUCERA: Wow. 33 minutes per sandwich? I might live forever. Hey, what does the study say about other foods like, I don't know, marshmallows?
PB BAKER: Well, it says here that sweets could actually take up to 10 to 20 minutes of life away.
JEFF NUCERA: So I guess it's fair to say that according to science marshmallows are just basically soft, fluffy, killers.
PB BAKER: Yeah, more like harshmallows. Am I right?
JEFF NUCERA: Absolutely. Those things are the worst. Unlike peanut butter, which not only keeps us alive but did you know it can actually be used to cleanse your soul?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PB BAKER: It can.
JEFF NUCERA: Yes, your shoe sole, that is. If you step in gum, just rub some peanut butter on the bottom of your shoe and after a short wait, scrape that gum right off.
PB BAKER: Wow. So tasty, so versatile, so perfect.
JEFF NUCERA: And let's not forget, it's also fun to work with. Just ask anyone at the International Peanut Butter Research Institute. Right, CHEWI?
CHEWI: Correct, Skippy Jefferson. So please consider joining the team at IPBRI--
CHEWI, JEFF NUCERA, AND PB BAKER: --where our door is always ajar.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A very smooth declaration of greatness with some facts that'll really stick with me. So, Oluwatoyin, what do you think of this declaration of greatness? What stood out to you here?
OLUWATOYIN: I really loved to hear that the average person eats over 3,000 peanut butter sandwiches in a lifetime because I do not like peanut butter sandwiches. So I guess I'm not one of the average people. I think I've ate in 10 or 12 in my lifetime. But it was interesting to hear that sweets can take over 10 to 20 minutes of your lifetime away, which is very interesting to hear because maybe that lets me know I should eat less sweets if I want to live a little longer.
But it was also really nice to hear that humans have been eating peanut butter for over 3,000 years. I did not know that.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's definitely withstood the test of time. But now, Tea, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to roast Jeff's argument. And your time starts now.
TEA HO: Well, friends, I'm hearing a lot of health concerns about marshmallows versus peanut butter, but most peanut butter that Americans eat has plenty of sugar added to it. In fact, one serving of peanut butter has 75% of the sugar that one marshmallow does, but what's going to make you happier, using your hand to scoop out up oopy-goopy peanut butter and putting it in your mouth or tossing a perfect, puffy marshmallow and chewing up that baby.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
JEFF NUCERA: I do not condone chewing up babies.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: I shouldn't have called it that.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Tea, it is your turn. Tell us why marshmallows are the superior snack.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
TEA HO: Hey, come join me by the fire. I saved a seat just for you. What better place to talk about magnificent marshmallows than sitting around a roasty, toasty campfire? Here, take a marshmallow. Take a bite. It's like biting into a sugar pillow, a sweet cloud. It's light, airy, fluffy, yet chewy, and just the right amount of squish.
And that's all before you even toast it. Peanut butter on the other hand--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
--don't try to toast it unless you want a burning sludge monster on your hands. Try to eat a spoonful, and it'll stick to the roof of your mouth. Is that a snack? More like a punishment. But marshmallow texture is supreme. Mmm. Hmm. Mmm. Hmm. OK, while we roast these, let me tell you where marshmallows all began.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Marshmallows were originally made from the marshmallow plant a.k.a. Althea officinalis. The plant is native to Europe, Northern Africa, and Western Asia. Even though you know marshmallows as adorable little puff balls, the marshmallow plant is more than adorable. It's gorgeous. It has a white flower, pink center, and it grows in marshes. Hence, marshmallow. Yep, much like our beloved Shrek, this icon hails from a swamp.
And the swamp sweet was popular with the ancient Egyptians who boiled the mallow root with honey to make candies fit only for royalty and the gods. The mallow root wasn't just a tasty treat. People also believed it was medicinal. From the ancient Greeks to the European Renaissance, people used the marshmallow plant to treat sore throats, coughs, indigestion. You name it. It was even used for love potions. Maybe that's why I love marshmallows.
MAN: Art thou suffering from toothacheth, upset stomacheth, down on your lucketh? Doth I suggesteth marshmallow. It cures most. Not to mention, it'll totes help with your loveth life.
TEA HO: Now, the modern marshmallow started taking shape in 19th century France. Confectioners whipped up the mallow root with egg whites and sugar to make the fluffy treats we're familiar with today. Eventually, the root was replaced with gelatin to make sure the confections stayed fresh longer. And this is when marshmallows really took off.
As sugar became more widely accessible around the turn of the century, marshmallow rose became all the rage in the US. They were the summer beach activity.
WOMAN: Grab a stick and get roasting. It's a jolly old time.
TEA HO: That's the beauty of marshmallows. They're not just the snack or medicine, they're an activity. Whether it's gathering around the campfire with friends, crafting a marshmallow snowman to dunking hot chocolate or just chucking them at your siblings, they're endless fun. What can't marshmallows do?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Marshmallows are also part of the juggernaut of tasty treats. S'mores, a toasted marshmallow and piece of melty chocolate, all sandwiched between two crunchy graham crackers. Yum. Although we don't know who exactly invented this champion combo, the Girl Scouts of America were the first ones to publish a recipe in their 1927 handbook.
The name is thought to come from the phrase--
WOMAN: Give me some more, some more, s'more.
TEA HO: Speaking of, I think our marshmallows are done. Wow. Look at that. Perfectly golden brown. I'm going to eat mine fresh off the stick.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Ooh. Ooey-gooey, caramelized perfection. So if you're looking for a supremely dreamy, interactive treat that's been enjoyed for centuries, look no further than the marshmallow. Marshmallows. They just took a DNA test and turns out they are 100% bapsquish.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: A sweet and very lovely declaration of greatness for marshmallows there. Oluwatoyin, what stood out to you about Tea's arguments?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. What most definitely stood out to me is that marshmallows were originally made from plants. I did not know that. And they grew in marshes and swamps. That was really cool. And it was amazing to learn that those plants were used in different ways even in medicine. That was interesting, and it's good to know where s'mores actually came from.
So it was interesting just to mention peanut butter cannot be put in s'mores. It's not necessarily toastable. So--
TEA HO: That's true.
MOLLY BLOOM: We are learning a lot today. But now, Jeff, it's time for your rebuttal. Turn Tea's argument into goo. You have 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
JEFF NUCERA: Who wants to eat food off of a stick? Not me. For peanut butter, we use spoons and I'm down for that. In theory, you could eat peanut butter every day for every meal and it will keep you alive. But if you eat swampy marshmallows every day, your teeth will probably fall out and then what will you eat? Oh, I know. Peanut butter. And soup, probably.
One time, I had a dream that I ate a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone and it was very traumatic.
[LAUGHTER]
Plus, have you--
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
[LAUGHTER]
I really want to know more.
TEA HO: Sounds like you wanted to eat a marshmallow. Sounds like marshmallows are a dream, Jeff.
JEFF NUCERA: Hmm. Sounds like a nightmare to me.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Oluwatoyin, it is time to award some points here. You can give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to your favorite rebuttal. So you get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one side woo you with their funny facts, tickle you with historical tales, made you a little bit hungry? Again, the criteria is totally up to you. Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes. I made my decision.
[BELL SOUND]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Tea and Jeff, how are you feeling so far?
JEFF NUCERA: I'm excited. I'm looking forward to seeing sand-which way this debate will go.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: I'm fired up. I'm ready for s'more.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right then. We are going to take a very quick break. Take a bite of a scrumptious s'more or dig into a peanut butter sandwich.
OLUWATOYIN: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER 2: You're watching State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, hey, hey. Debate-heads, it's me. Your old pal, Todd Douglas, here with my oldest ever, best pal for life, Taylor Lincoln.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Oh, Todd. You're my OEBPFL too.
TODD DOUGLAS: Are you wearing your oldest ever, best pal for life bracelet today?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Of course.
TODD DOUGLAS: Me too. Taylor and I love to wear matching bracelets almost as much as we love talking logical fallacies.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: OMG, OEBFL. Do we ever? Got to be on the lookout for those LFs. They're misleading and make your arguments weak.
TODD DOUGLAS: Today's LF a.k.a. logical fallacy is special pleading. We spotted this one at the Gupta family dinner table.
ISHANI: Oh, dad, I got to show you this video Andy sent me. This guy chugs a bunch of fizzy water and it causes the most massive burp of all time. And it freaks him out and then--
WOMAN: Ishani, no phones at the dinner table.
ISHANI: Mom, come on. This video is so funny. Trust me, you guys will love it. Just watch it--
MAN 2: Yeah, whatever. We can watch it after dinner.
WOMAN: Family dinner is the time when we can chat and eat and look into one another's eyes without a phone blocking the view.
ISHANI: Oh, OK, fine.
WOMAN: So, Ishani, what happened at school today? How did that--
[PHONE RINGING SOUND]
Oh, sorry. Let me just check this real quick.
ISHANI: Mom. No phones at the dinner table. Remember?
WOMAN: Oh, but it's your Aunt Deedee. I need to answer it. This'll just take one second.
ISHANI: Mom.
WOMAN: I know I said no phones at the dinner table, but this is important.
ISHANI: Oh, really? What does she want to know then?
WOMAN: Ah, well, she wanted to know the recipe for those brownies I made last week.
ISHANI: Oh, not cool, mom.
[BUZZER]
TODD DOUGLAS: Oh boy. Ishani took the words right out of my mouth. Not cool, mom. Not cool.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: OMG, OEBPFL. Do we ever?
TODD DOUGLAS: My OEBPFL knows what's up.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: You KWU too, Todd. And that's it for today's State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MAN: Smash boom best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
OLUWATOYIN: And I'm your judge, Oluwatoyin.
MOLLY BLOOM: We love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's an epic idea we got from Alexander in Mokena, Illinois.
ALEXANDER: My idea, chicken nuggets versus cheeseburgers.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Alexander at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.
OLUWATOYIN: And now, it's back to today's debates. Peanut butter versus marshmallows.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right, and it's time for round 2, the--
[SYNTH VOICE SAYING "MICRO"]
ANNOUNCER: Micro round.
[BELL SOUND]
MOLLY BLOOM: Today's micro round challenge is called Sonnet Slam. We asked Tea and Jeff to write a sonnet showcasing their site's best qualities like William Shakespeare would have written. Jeff went first last time so, Tea, you're up. Let's hear your airy ode to the marshmallow.
TEA HO: I shiver 'neath the stars, camping alone, without so much a friend to lean upon. But then a bag of marshmallows my own appear. And with them, all my sadness gone. A marshmallow is the perfect brand new pal. So soft and bouncy, fun to eat or throw. They're round and cute and puffy like a cloud with toothpicks. You can build a man of snow. Perfection as they are or in a s'more.
Just look at how they toast upon warm fire. I don't know why you'd want anything more. They'll cheer up anybody, even criers.
[CRYING SOUND EFFECT]
I was alone, but with these puffs I'm whole for every bite warms up my heart and soul.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, that was very lovely. All right, Jeff, it's your turn. Let's hear your perfect verse for peanut butter.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, peanut butter. How I do munch thee with jelly or in chocolatey cup. It can be smooth and silky or crunchy. A thousand and one ways to eat you up with or without a crust on my white bread. Perfect for dinner, breakfast, lunch, or snack. This peanuty goop is my favorite spread. If you don't eat it, I will give you flak. Let's run it through a blender with some fruit--
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
--bananas, apples, and/or berries. Yum. This treat is worthy of a big salute. It's so delish, I will eat every crumb. I know today you'll hear a bunch of stuff, but keep in mind, marshmallows are just fluff.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. These sonnets are really elevating these two delicious foods today. Oluwatoyin, what did you like about Tea and Jeff's micro rounds here?
OLUWATOYIN: Oh my god. I love them both. I'm a poet. So I feel like it's good for me to judge other people's poems, and--
MOLLY BLOOM: Definitely.
OLUWATOYIN: --I love them both. They didn't necessarily-- both of them didn't necessarily rhyme, but they rhyme, if you get what I mean, and they flowed. It wasn't like little Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, and I liked that. I liked both of them.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sophisticated.
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. Hmm. This is going to be hard.
MOLLY BLOOM: As a poet, what do you think makes a good poem?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm. A good poem. I feel like the most important thing in a poem is the first line. The first line. It has to perfectly grab the reader's attention. The same way you write an essay. If your first line is trash, you're just not going to read it. So if your first line in a poem is good, you're going to want to continue. So I always make sure my first line is the best line in the poem.
MOLLY BLOOM: First impressions are important. Have you written a sonnet?
OLUWATOYIN: No, I write slam poetry. I'm a slam poet.
MOLLY BLOOM: Could you say what slam poetry is for people who might not know?
OLUWATOYIN: OK. Slam poetry is more performative poetry. So you get to compete. I'm actually on the New York City Slam Team for poetry which is really cool.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nice.
OLUWATOYIN: So you get to compete for poetry and it's more poetry that you say out loud. So you could think of-- I like to think of Martin Luther King as a poet. Some people might not agree with that. Some people don't. But type of like that. Saying your poetry out loud. Like Amanda Gorman. She is, in a way, a slam poet.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, because poetry doesn't have to rhyme necessarily. It just has to have pleasing rhythm and interesting sounds and a strong message.
OLUWATOYIN: Exactly.
MOLLY BLOOM: I love it. Well, as a poet, I'm very interested to know who your point will go to but don't tell us. It's time to award a point. The criteria is up to you. Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Hmm.
MOLLY BLOOM: I think Jeff and Tea should both feel really good that you're having a hard time deciding.
[LAUGHTER]
OLUWATOYIN: You should, you should. OK. Yes.
[BELL RINGING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. And it's time for our third round, the Super Stealthy--
[KUNG FU VOCALIZING]
--Sneak Attack. Your challenge is initial thoughts. We are getting very poetic in this debate, and we want you to write an acrostic poem for your side. That's a poem where the initial letter of each line spells out a word or phrase. For example, if you were Team Map, you might write this acrostic. M, move. A, around. P, purposefully. Or maybe those letters would stand for a phrase. It's up to you.
So peanut butter and marshmallows are both 12 letters. So it's a very even match-up. Tea and Jeff, does this make sense?
TEA HO: Yeah.
JEFF NUCERA: It does.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. OK. So, Tea, went first last time so, Jeff, you are up first. Let's hear your acrostic poem for peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Peanut butter, eating a nut unearthed. Tasty but--
[LAUGHTER]
--but unusually, the thick edible raspberry jelly is delicious.
[LAUGHTER]
TEA HO: Peanut butterged.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: I love it. All right, Tea. Your turn. Let's hear your acrostic for marshmallows.
TEA HO: M is for merriment. A is for amazing activities. R is for roasty. S is for sweet. H is for happiness in a single bite. M is for mmm mmm good. A is for always bounces back. L is for love. L is for light. O is for objectively delicious. W is for wonderful. And S is for sublime.
MOLLY BLOOM: Delightful. Delightful.
[LAUGHTER]
All right. Oluwatoyin, we need your fabulous poetry skills yet again--
OLUWATOYIN: OK, OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: --to award this fourth point. Criteria up to you. Did one flow? Did one take you somewhere, transports you to a land of peanut butter or marshmallows? Have you made your decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
[BELL RINGING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent. Then, it's time for our final around.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNOUNCER: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: Tea, you've got just six words to win Oluwatoyin over. Sum up why marshmallows are the smash boom best.
TEA HO: Marshmallow clouds dream of a future.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh. Very nice. Jeff, it's your turn. Give us six words that prove peanut butter deserves the crown.
JEFF NUCERA: Marshmallows got pea-nuttin' on peanut butter.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Right. This debate has been delicious. I want s'more, but we're all out of time. Oluwatoyin, are you ready to make your final decision?
OLUWATOYIN: Not yet. I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now. OK, OK.
MOLLY BLOOM: Go with your gut.
TEA HO: I know what my gut's craving.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Have you awarded your final point?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. All right. So then tally up the points that have been rewarded. Drum roll, please.
[DRUMROLL]
Today's winner is--
[DRUMROLL]
OLUWATOYIN: Peanut butter.
JEFF NUCERA: Hurray.
TEA HO: No.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's all eat PB and yay sandwiches.
[LAUGHTER]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh man. So, Oluwatoyin, was there a moment that really decided it for you?
OLUWATOYIN: OK. So you guys were tied at the end. But then I felt like his six words made me laugh. I thought the pun was funny, and I'm a very competitive person. So he went-- he more attacked marshmallow than talked about himself-ish, which I think I liked.
MOLLY BLOOM: You liked that.
OLUWATOYIN: It was hard though because I did like marshmallows. I was like, oh my gosh.
MOLLY BLOOM: I mean, it sounds-- if it was tied up to the very end, that was a close, close, close debate.
OLUWATOYIN: Yes. Yes, it was.
TEA HO: Though, OK, marshmallow lost, marshmallows always bounce back.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, yes they do.
OLUWATOYIN: OK. Yes. Yes, they do.
[LAUGHTER]
JEFF NUCERA: I really thought you were going to win because you made marshmallows sound so delicious.
TEA HO: Thank you, Jeff. Look, I came in ready to talk about how much peanut butter looked like poop but--
[LAUGHTER]
--but your arguments have really stuck with me just like peanut butter.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh.
JEFF NUCERA: Let's join forces and have a fluffernutter sandwich. Shall we?
OLUWATOYIN: Yes, that sounds great.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ah, I'm there. I'm for it. Are we doing crunchy peanut butter or smooth peanut butter?
JEFF NUCERA: Smooth, always.
OLUWATOYIN: Smooth, duh.
TEA HO: Crunchy. I'm Team Crunchy.
OLUWATOYIN: Ew.
JEFF NUCERA: Oh, no.
MOLLY BLOOM: Another debate.
OLUWATOYIN: Boom.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for today's debate battle. Oluwatoyin crowned peanut butter to Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
OLUWATOYIN: Head to smashboom.org to vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On! and APM Studios.
TEA HO: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rosie Dupont, Ruby Guthrie, and Sanden Totten.
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Jess Berg, Violet Fertig, and Maya Sastik.
JEFF NUCERA: And we had production help from Anna Goldfield, Marc Sanchez, and Anna Weggel.
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith. We'd like to give a special thanks to our announcer Marlee [INAUDIBLE], Taylor Kaufmann, and Austin Kross. Jeff, is there anyone you would like to thank today?
JEFF NUCERA: I'd like to thank my sister Donna and my close personal friend Adriana Yugovich.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. And, Tea, how about you? Any special shout-outs?
TEA HO: I'd like to thank my pup Remy and my partner Patrick, Jet Puff, and the Girl Scouts.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. And, Oluwatoyin, do you want to give any special thanks today?
OLUWATOYIN: Thank you to Urban Word for giving me this opportunity and to my parents.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, awesome. Well, before we go, let's check in with Alexander about his cheeseburger versus chicken nuggets debate.
ALEXANDER: I think cheeseburgers would win because you can have all the food groups in it and the sauce is already in it. You don't have to dip. They are also my favorite food.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week. Bye-bye.
TEA HO: Bye.
JEFF NUCERA: All right. Sayonara.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SINGER: (SINGING) Oh, you're the smash boom best. Oh, put you through the test. Oh, you're the smash boom best. Oh better than the rest. It's smash boom best. It's smash boom best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Transcription services provided by 3Play Media.
