Our final debate of the season is a superpowered smackdown between two heroic icons: the spunky web-slinger from Queens and the brave guardian of Gotham. Ne'er-do-wells beware, because it’s Spider-Man vs. Batman! We’ve got actor, writer, and Story Pirates co-host Peter McNerney ready to give it his all for team Spider-Man! And rapper extraordinaire Matt Allen better known as NUR-D here to defend the caped crusader– Batman! Which side will step up to the win?
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet?? Get yours today for just $4/month (or $36/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um, and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today!
As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Audio Transcript
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SUBJECT 1: From the brains behind Brains On, its Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and as you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a super powered smack down between two heroic icons, the spunky webslinger from Queens, and the brave guardian of Gotham.
The red and blue web head, and the dark knight. The brooding billionaire, and the penniless prodigy. Ne'er do wells beware because it's Spider-Man versus Batman. We've got actor, writer, Story Pirates co-host, and pal of the podcast, Peter McNerney ready to give it his all for team Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: Doing whatever a spider can. Watch out, true believers. It's the Spider-Man. Swip, swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And a rapper extraordinaire Matt Allen, better known as Nerdy here to defend the caped crusader Batman.
MATT ALLEN: That's right people. All the way from Gotham city. You know it's your boy. And we're going to rock with the bat.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Molly from Philadelphia. Molly is a theater maven, has a feisty Jack Russell Terrier named Wendy, and used to go to circus school. Hi, Molly. And I must say, you have the best name.
MOLLY: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
MOLLY BLOOM: We are so excited you're here. So tell us, what kind of theater projects are you doing right now?
MOLLY: So currently, I just finished up a school play of Into the Woods Junior, where I played Little Red Riding Hood. And that was so much. Fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ah, I love that show. And that is a super fun part. How is that Little Red Riding Hood would you say different than the Little Red Riding Hood from the story that people might be familiar with?
MOLLY: I would say that in Into the Woods, Little Red Riding Hood is a bit more aggressive, and feisty, and she has a lot more big opinions as opposed to the storyteller, where she's a little more scared and isn't really expressing how she's feeling.
MOLLY BLOOM: So I'm glad you've had some experience channeling some big opinions lately. This is great. What is Little Red Riding Hood get to sing?
MOLLY: Little Red Riding Hood gets to sing a lot of really fun parts, I'd say. An individual song and one of my favorites, a song with the wolf. And that was really fun to get to portray, and get to act scared but also confused, and get to sing my way through that.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds very, very fun. Well, will Molly side with Spider-Man or bend to Batman's will? There's no telling. Molly, are you ready to judge today's debate?
MOLLY: I'm very ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the declaration of greatness, the micro around, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Molly, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK, Peter, Matt, and Molly, are you ready?
PETER MCNERNEY: Born ready.
MATT ALLEN: Yeah, like Batman, I stays ready.
MOLLY: Yes, I'm very ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Wonderful. Then it's time for the--
SUBJECT 1: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponents statements. We flipped a coin, and Peter, you're up first. Tell us what makes a spectacular Spider-Man so amazing.
PETER MCNERNEY: [SCREAMING] Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. Peter, are you currently in a terrifying freefall high over the streets of New York City? [LAUGHS] Guilty as charged. But hey, that's what happens when you try to interview Spider-Man while he's busy battling the Green Goblin, a villain who famously loves dropping innocent bystanders off buildings.
But don't worry. I'm sure Spider-Man will swoop in at any second and save me. Any second now. Oh, boy. Here comes the sidewalk. OK, Spider-Man. Any-- anytime. Spider-Man? Spider-Man! [GRUNTS] Wow, Spider-Man. Thank you. You really--
SPIDER-MAN: Sorry. No time to chat. I'm a little tied up.
PETER MCNERNEY: Wow. Spider-Man. Was there ever a cooler here with cooler powers? I mean, look at him literally run up the side of that building like a spider. And use his superhuman strength and agility to jump 100 feet in the air.
GREEN GOBLIN: Take that, Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN: Whoa!
PETER MCNERNEY: And his incredible Spidey senses let him dodge incoming attacks using only instinct. Oh, and his web shooters.
SPIDER-MAN: Hey, Green Goblin.
GREEN GOBLIN: Aah!
SPIDER-MAN: That's a wrap.
GREEN GOBLIN: You've tied me up with your silly webs! Curse you, Spider-Man!
SPIDER-MAN: Peter, don't forget about my coolest power of all.
PETER MCNERNEY: What's that?
SPIDER-MAN: Using my webs to swing from building to building through the streets of New York City.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, yeah. I was just about--
SPIDER-MAN: Sorry, got to go.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, you're leaving again? That's cool. See you, Spider-Man. Man, so cool. Who else zips through the city like that?
BATMAN: I do.
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh?
BATMAN: I'm Batman. I zip around the city in my super fancy private jet. I mean, Bat Wing. It's called the Bat Wing. Right. Or I can use my grappling hook. [GRUNTS] Oh, darn it. Jammed again. That can happen sometimes. It's OK. I could still make a cool exit. Hey, what's that over there?
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh?
BATMAN: Oh, Batman run away. Oh, you didn't see me. Oh, I'm cool.
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, when it comes to powers, Batman's got nothing on Spider-Man. Now, before you tell me Batman doesn't need powers because he's such an interesting character, you could stop right there. No one is as interesting and relatable as Peter Parker.
When Spider-Man was first introduced in the pages of Marvel Comics by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko in 1962, it was a game changer. Before that, you had superheroes like Superman or Batman, an alien from planet Krypton, a butlered billionaire vigilante. Not exactly relatable.
But Peter Parker was just a regular, kind of awkward high school kid who got bit by a radioactive spider, giving him fantastic abilities. For the first time, comic book readers saw a hero, who not only had to save the world but also had to worry about the same things that they did, like homework, or bullies, or figuring out whom to ask to the dance.
PETER PARKER: Tell me about it.
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh? Peter Parker?
PETER PARKER: Yeah. Hey, Peter. Can we talk? You know, Peter to Peter.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. Sure, Peter.
PETER PARKER: Sometimes I feel like life would be way easier if I could just be Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: Hey, I get it. People really like Spider-Man. That's why he's in so many movies. In fact, there's been three different live action franchises about you.
PETER PARKER: Oh, yeah, I know. I love that Tom Holland. Yeah.
PETER MCNERNEY: And there's the animated spider-verse movies. You know that first one won an Oscar? There's even movies just about the Spider-Man villains. Yeah, those ones are weird I think.
BATMAN: Yeah, totally.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yes. But that's how much people love you, Peter.
PETER PARKER: Ah, thanks, Peter.
PETER MCNERNEY: No, thank you, Peter.
BATMAN: No, thank me.
BOTH: Huh?
BATMAN: I'm Batman. Ha-ha! Smoke bomb. [GRUNTS] Oh, dang it. Sometimes you get a dud. Well, anyway. I guess I'll just walk away.
PETER MCNERNEY: All right. Well, then see you later, Batman.
PETER PARKER: Well, anyway. I should probably get going.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh, hey, Spider-Man. If you're not too busy, I was wondering, would you--
PETER PARKER: You want to swing around the city, don't you?
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh. Yes, please.
PETER PARKER: All right. Hold on tight. Wo-hoo!
PETER MCNERNEY: [LAUGHS] Yeah! Spider-Man's the best. Oh. Whoa! Whoa! That's very scary. No romance! Ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. An exhilarating, swinging declaration of greatness there with double the Peters, double the fun. Now, Molly to Molly, what stood out to you about Peters declaration of greatness?
MOLLY: Something that really stood out to me were all of the really, really funny references and jokes. And I really learned a lot about how they designed Spider-Man to be relatable.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very interesting. All right. Matt, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to wash away the itsy bitsy spider. And your time starts now.
MATT ALLEN: That was a lot of fun. I will say-- I want to start off by saying that was a lot of fun. And if we were judging who was the more fun superhero, I think that that would have been a really easy way to go about it. OK, but how much of Peter's declaration of greatness was actually with Spider-Man and not with Batman?
That's all. I'm just going to say, that's like a 3/4 of it. Now, Spider-Man's great. We all love Spider-Man is a really fun. We talk about relatable. Superior genetics is a very odd way to break out with relatable.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. [LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: I just want to throw that. Saying it. Just saying it.
PETER MCNERNEY: You know what? You're not wrong. You're not wrong.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right. Matt, I know you have a lot more to say.
MATT ALLEN: I do.
MOLLY BLOOM: So much more. So let's hear it. Tell us why Batman is the hero our city needs.
[SIRENS WAILING]
MATT ALLEN: Steam rises from the greats of the city as you walk home. You're tired, but you know that your warm bed awaits. When suddenly, you hear it. In an instant, the street is filled with hundreds of mechanized penguins shooting lasers from their beaks and flames from them.
You try to turn back, but there's a two story tall Rubik's cube coming at you, crushing cars under its multicolored dice. So you dart for an alleyway to find an escape. But out from the shadow steps a pale skin clown with a joy buzzer ready to hit you with 10,000 volts of very unfunny lightning.
[JOKER LAUGHING]
Surrounded on all sides by the worst of the worst, you look to the sky for someone to save you. And there, amongst the rooftops of the city, atop a centuries old gargoyle is a skinny boy from Queens in red pajamas? Hold up. I have a feeling that's not going to cut it.
Spider-Man might be all well and good when you're hanging out in the friendly neighborhood. But when the chips are down, you're going to want the A-team, the tippy top tier hero, my friends, you are going to want. The one, the only Batman. Batman's comic is one of the top selling comics of all time.
And he's been on the big screen since the black and white days of 1943. The Bat has been saving the world much longer than most of us have even been alive. All without any superpowers, just saying. And that's just the first reason the Dark Knight is the superior superhero.
Reason number two, nobody's got the drip like our boy Brucey Beat. The batsuit is more than just fashion. In some stories, his chest plate is basically bulletproof. His gloves have razor sharp spikes, strong enough to break through steel. His, oh, so stylish cave is fire resistant, bulletproof, and lets him glide across the city with ease.
Though he often just uses his handy dandy grappling hook to swing from place to place. Hmm. I wonder if anyone else has copied that trick? And finally, there's his iconic utility belt. Do you need some explosive battle rings? A laser cutter? An underwater breather? A forensic kit? Lock picks? First aid? Flash grenades? Miniature EMP? Kryptonite?
It's all strapped to his waist. Because Batman doesn't get ready. He stays ready. Ain't no radioactive cheat codes here. Batman has put the blood, sweat, and tears into hanging with the best of them. There are over 180 different martial arts styles in the world today, and Batman has mastered almost all of them, 127 to be exact.
He's a skilled hacker, fluent in over 40 languages, and has a photographic memory. Batman manages to do all of this while also helping run a multibillion dollar company. That's billion with a big old B, people. Batman also makes sure to do whatever he can to better the world around him, both in and out of the cape.
When he's not saving the city, Batman funds and helps manage a clinic that provides free health care and a foundation that runs orphanages and soup kitchens. He has also personally changed the lives of many heroes who have gone on to save hundreds and thousands more. He took in Dick Grayson after the loss both of his parents and helped him become the first ever Robin, and eventually the superhero Nightwing.
When Barbara Gordon, a.k.a. Batgirl, lost the use of her legs, he helped her get the equipment and training she needed to become the super hacker Oracle. Even former villains Clay Face and Catwoman have turned over a new leaf, thanks to the Bat's influence. And in the distant future, and aging Batman still manages to help protect the people of neo Gotham as the number one mentor of Terry McGinnis, Batman Beyond. How's that for the guy in the chair?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I think it's more than safe to say that when you're looking for the best of the best, you're going to want to go with the OG hero who's been holding it down and fighting for justice for over 80 years. When you want to save a little pig named Wilbur, you can call a spider. But when you want to save the world, it's time to put that signal in the sky and bring in the big guns. He is vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Batman. Enough said.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A declaration there that really spread its wings and flew gracefully through the sky. Molly, what stood out to you about Matt's argument?
MOLLY: I think I really loved learning about how popular Batman has been for such a long period of time and how many people have looked up to Batman and aspired to be more like him. And kind of really his awesome suit stood out to me and everything that holds. And that he's genuinely just a really great person who strives to make the world better.
MATT ALLEN: What a lovely thing you just said, Molly. That's great. I'm glad to hear that.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Peter, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. OK, I heard all those things. I heard a whole lot of things, lists of things, gadgets, stuff. You know what I didn't hear about? A personality. What is Batman's power? He's a rich guy.
What's his personality? he's a rich guy. He does things, he does good things, fine. But do you want to hang out with Bruce Wayne? I don't know. He's too busy just being rich. And his tool belt says it all. I've got everything, except a personality.
[LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: Wow. Just Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MATT ALLEN: That's how we're doing it? That's how we do it? Oh, I think he might be-- I think he might be boring. I feel like there's quite a few people in the back cave who would think differently. His whole family.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, yeah.
MATT ALLEN: Yeah, I'm just throwing that out there. Alfred likes him. Backer likes him. Commissioner Gordon likes him. I mean, I don't know.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah, they're all boring too, to be honest.
MOLLY BLOOM: Does everyone--
MATT ALLEN: OK, I see. I see how it is.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Molly. It is time to award some points. Give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to the most pawesome rebuttal. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for?
Award your points. But don't tell us who's getting them. Both points could go to the same debater, or each debater could get a point. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: Yes, I have. It was definitely very tough, but I've awarded my points.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent work. Peter and Matt, how are you two feeling so far?
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, I got to say, it's really hard to do all this trash talking when somebody is debating so delightfully with funny and insightful things. So I'm just going to put an angry tone in my voice as I say, good job.
MATT ALLEN: I feel very similarly because this debate is very difficult in case one person in this group really loves Spider-Man a whole lot and is trying to come up with things to say that are negative about him.
[ALL LAUGHING]
PETER MCNERNEY: I won't admit to feeling the same thing in the opposite direction. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Let's take a quick nap in the Batmobile or nosh on one of Aunt May's wheat cakes.
MOLLY: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
SUBJECT 1: You're watching a State of Debate, home to rage in rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR: Howdy, debaters? It's Taylor here with my trusty debate partner Todd Douglass.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, gang. Today, Taylor and I rustled up a real doozy of a logical fallacy for you.
TAYLOR: Logical fallacies are debate mistakes that hurt your arguments.
TODD DOUGLAS: And in this case, it can hurt someone's feelings. Because today, we're looking at the ad hominem fallacy.
TAYLOR: Ad hominem is the fancy Latin way of saying personal attack. When two debaters are in the middle of an argument and one of them insults their opponent instead of sticking to the facts, that's an ad homonym.
TODD DOUGLAS: And that's mean.
TAYLOR: And distracting. Let's hear what an ad hominem fallacy sounds like in action.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DEAN: I must say, we've got a beautiful Herd of cows, Sam.
SAM: We sure do, Dean. But those are Bulls.
DEAN: I beg your pardon?
SAM: You said cows when those are clearly bulls, a common mistake.
DEAN: I'm looking at a bunch of cows.
SAM: They've got horns and no udders. They're clearly bulls.
DEAN: That's bologna. You've got cow pie for brains.
[BUZZER SOUND]
TAYLOR: Oh, holy cow. That wasn't very nice.
TODD DOUGLAS: I'll say instead of sticking to the facts, Dean decided to resort to insults.
TAYLOR: Makes me want to hit the moo-te button on that debate. Get it? Moo-te, like a cow?
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, partner I think it's time we mosey on out of here.
TAYLOR: I reckon you're right. This has been--
BOTH: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SUBJECT 2: Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
MOLLY: And I'm your judge Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this ferocious debate idea from Emma.
EMMA: My debate is polar bears versus grizzly bears.
MOLLY: One side is too cold, the other's too hot. But this debate idea is just right.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Emma at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
MOLLY: And now, it's back to today's debate, Spider-Man versus Batman.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
SUBJECT 3: Micro round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. And Matt and Peter's prompt was holiday song. For this challenge, we asked our debaters to imagine there's a holiday devoted to their superhero. Then we asked them to write a holiday song celebrating their crime fighter and their special day. Peter went first last time. So Matt, you're up. Give us the holiday ballad of Batman.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's the holiday, so gather round. I'll tell you about the best new day in town. They put that light up in the sky. And you know that it is party time. With a set of cakes, hot pots is custom. He serve a backhands with the side of justice. You don't know who I'm talking about?
Let me take a bat minute, and I'll spell it out. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman.
It's the Batman day. Batman day, it brings thrills. Even Mister Freeze can get the chills. We grab our friends, we fight crime, then zip away on a cool zip line. Swinging through Gotham's neighborhoods. Much cooler than a silly little spider could.
But on the ground, we got the wheels because everyone in town gets the Batmobile. We move in stealth, always getting the drop on the Super scared, the superstitious cowardly lot. Even scarecrow is hiding up under the bed. Let me spell it out again so you hear what I said. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. Oh-oh. Wo-oh. Na, na, na, na, na. Batman. Oh-oh. Wo-oh.
And who am I? My name is Todd. I was walking past a bank that was getting robbed. As Joker tried to get away, he hit me with this wrapping rain. So now, Batman is fighting that dope. And Robin's giving me the antidote. Not sure how long I'll have to rhyme, but I made a holiday just to pass the timing out. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What that spell? Batman. Oh, it's the Batman day.
B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's Batman day.
Wow. Sorry to Mariah Carey, the queen of holiday music. Because Matt Allen is coming for your gig. Incredible work. All right, Peter. Now, it's your turn to sing us a holiday song, only a spider can.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So you want to be a spider person, join the club. Because swinging around on spider webs is crazy fun. But you got to be a different kind of spider than me. So pick a way to be a spider uniquely.
There's already a spider woman and a man. There's a spider Gwen, a scarlet spider and a ham. But you can be any other spider that you see. Because that's the way you go on spider Verse Day. Yeah, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Dog. It's Spider-Verse Day.
What about a Spider-Log? A Spider-Teacher, a Spider-Mom. A spider jet pilot who only flies to Guam. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Sheep. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Or a Spider Meryl Streep. So long as you've got a spider in the name. Spider-Man don't care. He like to share his fame.
Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Clock. Yes, It's Spider-Verse Day. Jump around a Spider-Frog. You think that we've gone overboard. Remember, Spider-Verse won an Academy Award. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. By the Artist Writer leg. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Spider goes for spider rig. Spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Hey, hey, hey! Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, wow. Another delightful song to celebrate. Oh, my gosh, Molly. I don't envy your decision here.
[BOTH LAUGHS]
It's going to be a tough one. What stood out to you about those two songs.
MOLLY: I think both of them will definitely be stuck in my head for the next few weeks at least.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I will be singing them during the holiday time and before the holiday time.
MOLLY BLOOM: And all the time.
MOLLY: Yes. [LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: You keep the spirit all year round in your heart.
PETER MCNERNEY: That's right.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MOLLY: Definitely.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow. I am so excited to celebrate these holidays. Molly, it is time to award a point. The criteria are up to you. It could be the song that's going to be stuck in your head forever, song that made you dance, song that made you laugh, song with the rhymes, the song with the beats. I don't know. This is a hard one. It's up to you. Have you awarded a point?
MOLLY: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
SUBJECT 4: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round, where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Raid My Fridge. Matt and Peter, take us on a tour of your hero's fridge. Tell us what's inside.
Is it stocked with snacks galore? Is there only spoiled milk left? Luscious leftovers? It's up to you to share. Debaters, are you ready to raid those fridges that make sense?
PETER MCNERNEY: I think I can-- I think I can think of something.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK.
MATT ALLEN: Yes, yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Great. All right. So Matt went first and the last round. So Peter, we'll start with you. Tell us, what does Spider-Man stock up on when he's crime fighting?
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, I must say this will probably be a shorter tour than the fridge of a billionaire.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
But Peter Parker's fridge is sparse. But it's got everything a young hero needs, probably a half eaten candy bar, his lunch that he forgot to bring to school. He's at school. He left his lunch at home. So he's probably going to have to swing back home and get it.
But if he forgot to leave it in the fridge, it's going to be on the counter, and that bologna is going to be sweaty. And the cheese is going to be tough. But you don't have time for that. So he's going to go in. And what's there is his Aunt May's like quinoa salad. And he's going to try that.
And he's going to drink straight out of the carton. And Aunt May is going to be like, gross, stop it. And he's like, I'm so busy. A homework, Green Goblin. I don't have time to eat That's not healthy. You got to go. Bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Very good. And I really liked your web slinging sound. Can you teach us how to make that? How do you do it?
PETER MCNERNEY: Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: Swip!
PETER MCNERNEY: Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: That's a good sound. All right. Very tasty testimony. Now, Matt, it's your turn. What vigilante vittles will we see inside Batman's fridge?
MATT ALLEN: It's funny that you asked this. Because guess we just came in here. It's Batman.
MOLLY BLOOM: What?
MATT ALLEN: He's here. Yeah, he's here.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, man.
MATT ALLEN: Tell us about the--
BATMAN: Hi, I'm Batman. I'm going to tell you about my fridge. So mostly, in here, there's justice. That's my favorite thing to eat. Morning, noon, and night. Because night is the best. I also have bat milk. It's not milk made from bats. It's just bad milk.
It's regular milk with some pointy ears on the top. I don't really know what's in here. I don't go in here often. Alfred usually grabs the stuff for me. But there's like a roast beef. There's some bat jello. It jiggles with confidence.
[ALL LAUGHING]
And then I think the last thing I've seen here, one of the Robins. I don't know which one I keep. There's so many. They left the Gatorade in here. Because you need electrolytes. When you don't have superpowers, you really got to stay healthy. OK, bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, Batman.
MATT ALLEN: It was crazy. He just showed up here.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. He's here.
PETER MCNERNEY: I thought he was saying that there was a Robin in his fridge. And I was very concerned.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: You know, those Robins get everywhere. They're just-- you got to watch out.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. He just goes through them. He's got probably a six pack of Robins. He goes through them very quickly.
MATT ALLEN: He does. He does. There's never a shortage of Robins in Gotham City.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my gosh. OK, Molly. Think about which side impressed you the most, and award your fourth point. Again, completely subjective and completely up to you. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: Yes, I have.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, perfect. Then it's time for our final around.
SUBJECT 1: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Matt, let's hear six words that will make us rise for the Dark Night.
MATT ALLEN: No superpowers. Still super hero.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very nicely done. All right, Peter. You've got six words to show us why we should cheer for the one and only Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: [CLEARS THROAT] With great power comes great responsibility.
MOLLY BLOOM: A classic. All right. Molly, time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: I have. It was definitely very hard. The final six was the deciding point.
[DING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, ooh. All right. So tally those points. Are you ready?
MOLLY: Yes, I am ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drum roll please. And the winner is
MOLLY: Spider-Man.
MATT ALLEN: No!
PETER MCNERNEY: Ah!
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
MATT ALLEN: Oh, my goodness.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh. I heard that Batman song, and I was shivering in my boots.
[ALL LAUGHING]
I was like, not fair. A real musician.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: Oh, I was so close. I felt-- I was like, oh, I can I get it? Man.
MOLLY BLOOM: This was the closest of close debates. Molly, you did excellent job judging. So you said it came down to the final six. What about that final six one you over?
MOLLY: I feel like those words were definitely a classic. And there's nothing that could compete with them.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's tough. It's tough to compete with a classic.
MATT ALLEN: That's a really tough one. Shout out to Uncle Ben.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. Uncle Ben. Matt, we've never met until now, and I found it incredibly hard to trash talk everything you did because you were delightful, very kind, and compelling. And I am a fan of Batman before and even more now.
MATT ALLEN: This was so difficult because you are amazing. Not only are you very funny, but you are repping one of my favorite superheroes of all time. And you did so amazingly. So thank you for repping Spider-Man so beautifully.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's debate battle. Molly crown Spider-Man the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
MOLLY: Head to smashboom.org, and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
PETER MCNERNEY: It's produced by [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MATT ALLEN: Our editors are [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
PETER MCNERNEY: And we had production help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is [LISTING HONOR ROLL] Our announcer is [LISTING HONOR ROLL] And we want to give a special thanks to [LISTING HONOR ROLL] Matt, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MATT ALLEN: Yes. I want to give a shout out to everybody in the Nerdy Club. Thank you for supporting me in this head to head debate. And as always, I want to give all the love to the Kevin Conroy fans and family. We love you.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Peter? Any special shout outs?
PETER MCNERNEY: Big shout out to the Story Pirates and the Story Pirate podcast. My family who tried to disrupt this recording several times and failed.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOLLY BLOOM: And Molly, do you want to give any special thanks or shout outs?
MOLLY: Yes. I'd like to give a shout out to you, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: [GASPS] Molly.
MOLLY: To my family, especially my two sisters, Winnie and Imogene, and to my seventh grade math class for letting me leave early.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Before we go, let's check in with Emma and see who she thinks should win her polar bears versus grizzlies debate.
EMMA: I think polar bears would win because they can survive in the North Pole.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate? Head to smashboom.org, and tell us about it. This is our last episode of the season, but we'll be back with new episodes in August. Bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Ah, you're Smash Boom Best. Ah, put you through the test. Ah, you're the Smash Boom Best. Ah, better than the rest. It's the Smash Boom Best. It's the Smash Boom Best.
PETER MCNERNEY: It's funny. I really am way more of a Batman fan.
MATT ALLEN: I really more of a Spider-Man fan. It was like so funny how that works out.
PETER MCNERNEY: You know, it's like, oh, it's painful. But then I'm also convincing myself that I'm like, oh, no. Spider-Man is better.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: You had to believe it in order to make it work.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MATT ALLEN: You had to believe it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MOLLY: The show for people with big opinions.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi. I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and as you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a super powered smack down between two heroic icons, the spunky webslinger from Queens, and the brave guardian of Gotham.
The red and blue web head, and the dark knight. The brooding billionaire, and the penniless prodigy. Ne'er do wells beware because it's Spider-Man versus Batman. We've got actor, writer, Story Pirates co-host, and pal of the podcast, Peter McNerney ready to give it his all for team Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: Doing whatever a spider can. Watch out, true believers. It's the Spider-Man. Swip, swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] And a rapper extraordinaire Matt Allen, better known as Nerdy here to defend the caped crusader Batman.
MATT ALLEN: That's right people. All the way from Gotham city. You know it's your boy. And we're going to rock with the bat.
MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Molly from Philadelphia. Molly is a theater maven, has a feisty Jack Russell Terrier named Wendy, and used to go to circus school. Hi, Molly. And I must say, you have the best name.
MOLLY: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
MOLLY BLOOM: We are so excited you're here. So tell us, what kind of theater projects are you doing right now?
MOLLY: So currently, I just finished up a school play of Into the Woods Junior, where I played Little Red Riding Hood. And that was so much. Fun.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ah, I love that show. And that is a super fun part. How is that Little Red Riding Hood would you say different than the Little Red Riding Hood from the story that people might be familiar with?
MOLLY: I would say that in Into the Woods, Little Red Riding Hood is a bit more aggressive, and feisty, and she has a lot more big opinions as opposed to the storyteller, where she's a little more scared and isn't really expressing how she's feeling.
MOLLY BLOOM: So I'm glad you've had some experience channeling some big opinions lately. This is great. What is Little Red Riding Hood get to sing?
MOLLY: Little Red Riding Hood gets to sing a lot of really fun parts, I'd say. An individual song and one of my favorites, a song with the wolf. And that was really fun to get to portray, and get to act scared but also confused, and get to sing my way through that.
MOLLY BLOOM: That sounds very, very fun. Well, will Molly side with Spider-Man or bend to Batman's will? There's no telling. Molly, are you ready to judge today's debate?
MOLLY: I'm very ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Before we dive in, let's review the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds of argumentation, the declaration of greatness, the micro around, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Molly, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK, Peter, Matt, and Molly, are you ready?
PETER MCNERNEY: Born ready.
MATT ALLEN: Yeah, like Batman, I stays ready.
MOLLY: Yes, I'm very ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Wonderful. Then it's time for the--
SUBJECT 1: Declaration of greatness.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponents statements. We flipped a coin, and Peter, you're up first. Tell us what makes a spectacular Spider-Man so amazing.
PETER MCNERNEY: [SCREAMING] Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. Peter, are you currently in a terrifying freefall high over the streets of New York City? [LAUGHS] Guilty as charged. But hey, that's what happens when you try to interview Spider-Man while he's busy battling the Green Goblin, a villain who famously loves dropping innocent bystanders off buildings.
But don't worry. I'm sure Spider-Man will swoop in at any second and save me. Any second now. Oh, boy. Here comes the sidewalk. OK, Spider-Man. Any-- anytime. Spider-Man? Spider-Man! [GRUNTS] Wow, Spider-Man. Thank you. You really--
SPIDER-MAN: Sorry. No time to chat. I'm a little tied up.
PETER MCNERNEY: Wow. Spider-Man. Was there ever a cooler here with cooler powers? I mean, look at him literally run up the side of that building like a spider. And use his superhuman strength and agility to jump 100 feet in the air.
GREEN GOBLIN: Take that, Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN: Whoa!
PETER MCNERNEY: And his incredible Spidey senses let him dodge incoming attacks using only instinct. Oh, and his web shooters.
SPIDER-MAN: Hey, Green Goblin.
GREEN GOBLIN: Aah!
SPIDER-MAN: That's a wrap.
GREEN GOBLIN: You've tied me up with your silly webs! Curse you, Spider-Man!
SPIDER-MAN: Peter, don't forget about my coolest power of all.
PETER MCNERNEY: What's that?
SPIDER-MAN: Using my webs to swing from building to building through the streets of New York City.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, yeah. I was just about--
SPIDER-MAN: Sorry, got to go.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, you're leaving again? That's cool. See you, Spider-Man. Man, so cool. Who else zips through the city like that?
BATMAN: I do.
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh?
BATMAN: I'm Batman. I zip around the city in my super fancy private jet. I mean, Bat Wing. It's called the Bat Wing. Right. Or I can use my grappling hook. [GRUNTS] Oh, darn it. Jammed again. That can happen sometimes. It's OK. I could still make a cool exit. Hey, what's that over there?
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh?
BATMAN: Oh, Batman run away. Oh, you didn't see me. Oh, I'm cool.
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, when it comes to powers, Batman's got nothing on Spider-Man. Now, before you tell me Batman doesn't need powers because he's such an interesting character, you could stop right there. No one is as interesting and relatable as Peter Parker.
When Spider-Man was first introduced in the pages of Marvel Comics by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko in 1962, it was a game changer. Before that, you had superheroes like Superman or Batman, an alien from planet Krypton, a butlered billionaire vigilante. Not exactly relatable.
But Peter Parker was just a regular, kind of awkward high school kid who got bit by a radioactive spider, giving him fantastic abilities. For the first time, comic book readers saw a hero, who not only had to save the world but also had to worry about the same things that they did, like homework, or bullies, or figuring out whom to ask to the dance.
PETER PARKER: Tell me about it.
PETER MCNERNEY: Huh? Peter Parker?
PETER PARKER: Yeah. Hey, Peter. Can we talk? You know, Peter to Peter.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. Sure, Peter.
PETER PARKER: Sometimes I feel like life would be way easier if I could just be Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: Hey, I get it. People really like Spider-Man. That's why he's in so many movies. In fact, there's been three different live action franchises about you.
PETER PARKER: Oh, yeah, I know. I love that Tom Holland. Yeah.
PETER MCNERNEY: And there's the animated spider-verse movies. You know that first one won an Oscar? There's even movies just about the Spider-Man villains. Yeah, those ones are weird I think.
BATMAN: Yeah, totally.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yes. But that's how much people love you, Peter.
PETER PARKER: Ah, thanks, Peter.
PETER MCNERNEY: No, thank you, Peter.
BATMAN: No, thank me.
BOTH: Huh?
BATMAN: I'm Batman. Ha-ha! Smoke bomb. [GRUNTS] Oh, dang it. Sometimes you get a dud. Well, anyway. I guess I'll just walk away.
PETER MCNERNEY: All right. Well, then see you later, Batman.
PETER PARKER: Well, anyway. I should probably get going.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh, hey, Spider-Man. If you're not too busy, I was wondering, would you--
PETER PARKER: You want to swing around the city, don't you?
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh. Yes, please.
PETER PARKER: All right. Hold on tight. Wo-hoo!
PETER MCNERNEY: [LAUGHS] Yeah! Spider-Man's the best. Oh. Whoa! Whoa! That's very scary. No romance! Ha!
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. An exhilarating, swinging declaration of greatness there with double the Peters, double the fun. Now, Molly to Molly, what stood out to you about Peters declaration of greatness?
MOLLY: Something that really stood out to me were all of the really, really funny references and jokes. And I really learned a lot about how they designed Spider-Man to be relatable.
MOLLY BLOOM: Very interesting. All right. Matt, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to wash away the itsy bitsy spider. And your time starts now.
MATT ALLEN: That was a lot of fun. I will say-- I want to start off by saying that was a lot of fun. And if we were judging who was the more fun superhero, I think that that would have been a really easy way to go about it. OK, but how much of Peter's declaration of greatness was actually with Spider-Man and not with Batman?
That's all. I'm just going to say, that's like a 3/4 of it. Now, Spider-Man's great. We all love Spider-Man is a really fun. We talk about relatable. Superior genetics is a very odd way to break out with relatable.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time. [LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: I just want to throw that. Saying it. Just saying it.
PETER MCNERNEY: You know what? You're not wrong. You're not wrong.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] All right. Matt, I know you have a lot more to say.
MATT ALLEN: I do.
MOLLY BLOOM: So much more. So let's hear it. Tell us why Batman is the hero our city needs.
[SIRENS WAILING]
MATT ALLEN: Steam rises from the greats of the city as you walk home. You're tired, but you know that your warm bed awaits. When suddenly, you hear it. In an instant, the street is filled with hundreds of mechanized penguins shooting lasers from their beaks and flames from them.
You try to turn back, but there's a two story tall Rubik's cube coming at you, crushing cars under its multicolored dice. So you dart for an alleyway to find an escape. But out from the shadow steps a pale skin clown with a joy buzzer ready to hit you with 10,000 volts of very unfunny lightning.
[JOKER LAUGHING]
Surrounded on all sides by the worst of the worst, you look to the sky for someone to save you. And there, amongst the rooftops of the city, atop a centuries old gargoyle is a skinny boy from Queens in red pajamas? Hold up. I have a feeling that's not going to cut it.
Spider-Man might be all well and good when you're hanging out in the friendly neighborhood. But when the chips are down, you're going to want the A-team, the tippy top tier hero, my friends, you are going to want. The one, the only Batman. Batman's comic is one of the top selling comics of all time.
And he's been on the big screen since the black and white days of 1943. The Bat has been saving the world much longer than most of us have even been alive. All without any superpowers, just saying. And that's just the first reason the Dark Knight is the superior superhero.
Reason number two, nobody's got the drip like our boy Brucey Beat. The batsuit is more than just fashion. In some stories, his chest plate is basically bulletproof. His gloves have razor sharp spikes, strong enough to break through steel. His, oh, so stylish cave is fire resistant, bulletproof, and lets him glide across the city with ease.
Though he often just uses his handy dandy grappling hook to swing from place to place. Hmm. I wonder if anyone else has copied that trick? And finally, there's his iconic utility belt. Do you need some explosive battle rings? A laser cutter? An underwater breather? A forensic kit? Lock picks? First aid? Flash grenades? Miniature EMP? Kryptonite?
It's all strapped to his waist. Because Batman doesn't get ready. He stays ready. Ain't no radioactive cheat codes here. Batman has put the blood, sweat, and tears into hanging with the best of them. There are over 180 different martial arts styles in the world today, and Batman has mastered almost all of them, 127 to be exact.
He's a skilled hacker, fluent in over 40 languages, and has a photographic memory. Batman manages to do all of this while also helping run a multibillion dollar company. That's billion with a big old B, people. Batman also makes sure to do whatever he can to better the world around him, both in and out of the cape.
When he's not saving the city, Batman funds and helps manage a clinic that provides free health care and a foundation that runs orphanages and soup kitchens. He has also personally changed the lives of many heroes who have gone on to save hundreds and thousands more. He took in Dick Grayson after the loss both of his parents and helped him become the first ever Robin, and eventually the superhero Nightwing.
When Barbara Gordon, a.k.a. Batgirl, lost the use of her legs, he helped her get the equipment and training she needed to become the super hacker Oracle. Even former villains Clay Face and Catwoman have turned over a new leaf, thanks to the Bat's influence. And in the distant future, and aging Batman still manages to help protect the people of neo Gotham as the number one mentor of Terry McGinnis, Batman Beyond. How's that for the guy in the chair?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I think it's more than safe to say that when you're looking for the best of the best, you're going to want to go with the OG hero who's been holding it down and fighting for justice for over 80 years. When you want to save a little pig named Wilbur, you can call a spider. But when you want to save the world, it's time to put that signal in the sky and bring in the big guns. He is vengeance. He is the Knight. He is Batman. Enough said.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. A declaration there that really spread its wings and flew gracefully through the sky. Molly, what stood out to you about Matt's argument?
MOLLY: I think I really loved learning about how popular Batman has been for such a long period of time and how many people have looked up to Batman and aspired to be more like him. And kind of really his awesome suit stood out to me and everything that holds. And that he's genuinely just a really great person who strives to make the world better.
MATT ALLEN: What a lovely thing you just said, Molly. That's great. I'm glad to hear that.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Peter, it's time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds. And your time starts now.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. OK, I heard all those things. I heard a whole lot of things, lists of things, gadgets, stuff. You know what I didn't hear about? A personality. What is Batman's power? He's a rich guy.
What's his personality? he's a rich guy. He does things, he does good things, fine. But do you want to hang out with Bruce Wayne? I don't know. He's too busy just being rich. And his tool belt says it all. I've got everything, except a personality.
[LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: Wow. Just Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
MATT ALLEN: That's how we're doing it? That's how we do it? Oh, I think he might be-- I think he might be boring. I feel like there's quite a few people in the back cave who would think differently. His whole family.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, yeah.
MATT ALLEN: Yeah, I'm just throwing that out there. Alfred likes him. Backer likes him. Commissioner Gordon likes him. I mean, I don't know.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah, they're all boring too, to be honest.
MOLLY BLOOM: Does everyone--
MATT ALLEN: OK, I see. I see how it is.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Molly. It is time to award some points. Give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to the most pawesome rebuttal. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic to die for?
Award your points. But don't tell us who's getting them. Both points could go to the same debater, or each debater could get a point. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: Yes, I have. It was definitely very tough, but I've awarded my points.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent work. Peter and Matt, how are you two feeling so far?
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, I got to say, it's really hard to do all this trash talking when somebody is debating so delightfully with funny and insightful things. So I'm just going to put an angry tone in my voice as I say, good job.
MATT ALLEN: I feel very similarly because this debate is very difficult in case one person in this group really loves Spider-Man a whole lot and is trying to come up with things to say that are negative about him.
[ALL LAUGHING]
PETER MCNERNEY: I won't admit to feeling the same thing in the opposite direction. Yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Let's take a quick nap in the Batmobile or nosh on one of Aunt May's wheat cakes.
MOLLY: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
SUBJECT 1: You're watching a State of Debate, home to rage in rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR: Howdy, debaters? It's Taylor here with my trusty debate partner Todd Douglass.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hey, gang. Today, Taylor and I rustled up a real doozy of a logical fallacy for you.
TAYLOR: Logical fallacies are debate mistakes that hurt your arguments.
TODD DOUGLAS: And in this case, it can hurt someone's feelings. Because today, we're looking at the ad hominem fallacy.
TAYLOR: Ad hominem is the fancy Latin way of saying personal attack. When two debaters are in the middle of an argument and one of them insults their opponent instead of sticking to the facts, that's an ad homonym.
TODD DOUGLAS: And that's mean.
TAYLOR: And distracting. Let's hear what an ad hominem fallacy sounds like in action.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DEAN: I must say, we've got a beautiful Herd of cows, Sam.
SAM: We sure do, Dean. But those are Bulls.
DEAN: I beg your pardon?
SAM: You said cows when those are clearly bulls, a common mistake.
DEAN: I'm looking at a bunch of cows.
SAM: They've got horns and no udders. They're clearly bulls.
DEAN: That's bologna. You've got cow pie for brains.
[BUZZER SOUND]
TAYLOR: Oh, holy cow. That wasn't very nice.
TODD DOUGLAS: I'll say instead of sticking to the facts, Dean decided to resort to insults.
TAYLOR: Makes me want to hit the moo-te button on that debate. Get it? Moo-te, like a cow?
TODD DOUGLAS: Well, partner I think it's time we mosey on out of here.
TAYLOR: I reckon you're right. This has been--
BOTH: State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SUBJECT 2: Smash Boom Best.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
MOLLY: And I'm your judge Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this ferocious debate idea from Emma.
EMMA: My debate is polar bears versus grizzly bears.
MOLLY: One side is too cold, the other's too hot. But this debate idea is just right.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back with Emma at the end of this episode to see which side she thinks should win.
MOLLY: And now, it's back to today's debate, Spider-Man versus Batman.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
SUBJECT 3: Micro round.
MOLLY BLOOM: For the micro round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. And Matt and Peter's prompt was holiday song. For this challenge, we asked our debaters to imagine there's a holiday devoted to their superhero. Then we asked them to write a holiday song celebrating their crime fighter and their special day. Peter went first last time. So Matt, you're up. Give us the holiday ballad of Batman.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It's the holiday, so gather round. I'll tell you about the best new day in town. They put that light up in the sky. And you know that it is party time. With a set of cakes, hot pots is custom. He serve a backhands with the side of justice. You don't know who I'm talking about?
Let me take a bat minute, and I'll spell it out. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman.
It's the Batman day. Batman day, it brings thrills. Even Mister Freeze can get the chills. We grab our friends, we fight crime, then zip away on a cool zip line. Swinging through Gotham's neighborhoods. Much cooler than a silly little spider could.
But on the ground, we got the wheels because everyone in town gets the Batmobile. We move in stealth, always getting the drop on the Super scared, the superstitious cowardly lot. Even scarecrow is hiding up under the bed. Let me spell it out again so you hear what I said. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. Oh-oh. Wo-oh. Na, na, na, na, na. Batman. Oh-oh. Wo-oh.
And who am I? My name is Todd. I was walking past a bank that was getting robbed. As Joker tried to get away, he hit me with this wrapping rain. So now, Batman is fighting that dope. And Robin's giving me the antidote. Not sure how long I'll have to rhyme, but I made a holiday just to pass the timing out. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What that spell? Batman. Oh, it's the Batman day.
B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's the Batman day. B-A-T. B-A-T. M-A-N. M-A-N. What's that spell? Batman. It's Batman day.
Wow. Sorry to Mariah Carey, the queen of holiday music. Because Matt Allen is coming for your gig. Incredible work. All right, Peter. Now, it's your turn to sing us a holiday song, only a spider can.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So you want to be a spider person, join the club. Because swinging around on spider webs is crazy fun. But you got to be a different kind of spider than me. So pick a way to be a spider uniquely.
There's already a spider woman and a man. There's a spider Gwen, a scarlet spider and a ham. But you can be any other spider that you see. Because that's the way you go on spider Verse Day. Yeah, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Dog. It's Spider-Verse Day.
What about a Spider-Log? A Spider-Teacher, a Spider-Mom. A spider jet pilot who only flies to Guam. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Sheep. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Or a Spider Meryl Streep. So long as you've got a spider in the name. Spider-Man don't care. He like to share his fame.
Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. You could be a Spider-Clock. Yes, It's Spider-Verse Day. Jump around a Spider-Frog. You think that we've gone overboard. Remember, Spider-Verse won an Academy Award. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. By the Artist Writer leg. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Spider goes for spider rig. Spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider, spider. Yes, it's Spider-Verse Day. Hey, hey, hey! Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, wow. Another delightful song to celebrate. Oh, my gosh, Molly. I don't envy your decision here.
[BOTH LAUGHS]
It's going to be a tough one. What stood out to you about those two songs.
MOLLY: I think both of them will definitely be stuck in my head for the next few weeks at least.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I will be singing them during the holiday time and before the holiday time.
MOLLY BLOOM: And all the time.
MOLLY: Yes. [LAUGHS]
MATT ALLEN: You keep the spirit all year round in your heart.
PETER MCNERNEY: That's right.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MOLLY: Definitely.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow. I am so excited to celebrate these holidays. Molly, it is time to award a point. The criteria are up to you. It could be the song that's going to be stuck in your head forever, song that made you dance, song that made you laugh, song with the rhymes, the song with the beats. I don't know. This is a hard one. It's up to you. Have you awarded a point?
MOLLY: Yes, I have.
MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third around, the super stealthy--
SUBJECT 4: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: This is our improvised round, where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Raid My Fridge. Matt and Peter, take us on a tour of your hero's fridge. Tell us what's inside.
Is it stocked with snacks galore? Is there only spoiled milk left? Luscious leftovers? It's up to you to share. Debaters, are you ready to raid those fridges that make sense?
PETER MCNERNEY: I think I can-- I think I can think of something.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK.
MATT ALLEN: Yes, yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Great. All right. So Matt went first and the last round. So Peter, we'll start with you. Tell us, what does Spider-Man stock up on when he's crime fighting?
PETER MCNERNEY: Well, I must say this will probably be a shorter tour than the fridge of a billionaire.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
But Peter Parker's fridge is sparse. But it's got everything a young hero needs, probably a half eaten candy bar, his lunch that he forgot to bring to school. He's at school. He left his lunch at home. So he's probably going to have to swing back home and get it.
But if he forgot to leave it in the fridge, it's going to be on the counter, and that bologna is going to be sweaty. And the cheese is going to be tough. But you don't have time for that. So he's going to go in. And what's there is his Aunt May's like quinoa salad. And he's going to try that.
And he's going to drink straight out of the carton. And Aunt May is going to be like, gross, stop it. And he's like, I'm so busy. A homework, Green Goblin. I don't have time to eat That's not healthy. You got to go. Bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Very good. And I really liked your web slinging sound. Can you teach us how to make that? How do you do it?
PETER MCNERNEY: Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: Swip!
PETER MCNERNEY: Swip!
MOLLY BLOOM: That's a good sound. All right. Very tasty testimony. Now, Matt, it's your turn. What vigilante vittles will we see inside Batman's fridge?
MATT ALLEN: It's funny that you asked this. Because guess we just came in here. It's Batman.
MOLLY BLOOM: What?
MATT ALLEN: He's here. Yeah, he's here.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh, man.
MATT ALLEN: Tell us about the--
BATMAN: Hi, I'm Batman. I'm going to tell you about my fridge. So mostly, in here, there's justice. That's my favorite thing to eat. Morning, noon, and night. Because night is the best. I also have bat milk. It's not milk made from bats. It's just bad milk.
It's regular milk with some pointy ears on the top. I don't really know what's in here. I don't go in here often. Alfred usually grabs the stuff for me. But there's like a roast beef. There's some bat jello. It jiggles with confidence.
[ALL LAUGHING]
And then I think the last thing I've seen here, one of the Robins. I don't know which one I keep. There's so many. They left the Gatorade in here. Because you need electrolytes. When you don't have superpowers, you really got to stay healthy. OK, bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, Batman.
MATT ALLEN: It was crazy. He just showed up here.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. He's here.
PETER MCNERNEY: I thought he was saying that there was a Robin in his fridge. And I was very concerned.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: You know, those Robins get everywhere. They're just-- you got to watch out.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. He just goes through them. He's got probably a six pack of Robins. He goes through them very quickly.
MATT ALLEN: He does. He does. There's never a shortage of Robins in Gotham City.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, my gosh. OK, Molly. Think about which side impressed you the most, and award your fourth point. Again, completely subjective and completely up to you. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: Yes, I have.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, perfect. Then it's time for our final around.
SUBJECT 1: The final six.
MOLLY BLOOM: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Matt, let's hear six words that will make us rise for the Dark Night.
MATT ALLEN: No superpowers. Still super hero.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very nicely done. All right, Peter. You've got six words to show us why we should cheer for the one and only Spider-Man.
PETER MCNERNEY: [CLEARS THROAT] With great power comes great responsibility.
MOLLY BLOOM: A classic. All right. Molly, time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision?
MOLLY: I have. It was definitely very hard. The final six was the deciding point.
[DING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, ooh. All right. So tally those points. Are you ready?
MOLLY: Yes, I am ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, drum roll please. And the winner is
MOLLY: Spider-Man.
MATT ALLEN: No!
PETER MCNERNEY: Ah!
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
MATT ALLEN: Oh, my goodness.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow.
PETER MCNERNEY: Oh. I heard that Batman song, and I was shivering in my boots.
[ALL LAUGHING]
I was like, not fair. A real musician.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: Oh, I was so close. I felt-- I was like, oh, I can I get it? Man.
MOLLY BLOOM: This was the closest of close debates. Molly, you did excellent job judging. So you said it came down to the final six. What about that final six one you over?
MOLLY: I feel like those words were definitely a classic. And there's nothing that could compete with them.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's tough. It's tough to compete with a classic.
MATT ALLEN: That's a really tough one. Shout out to Uncle Ben.
PETER MCNERNEY: Yeah. Uncle Ben. Matt, we've never met until now, and I found it incredibly hard to trash talk everything you did because you were delightful, very kind, and compelling. And I am a fan of Batman before and even more now.
MATT ALLEN: This was so difficult because you are amazing. Not only are you very funny, but you are repping one of my favorite superheroes of all time. And you did so amazingly. So thank you for repping Spider-Man so beautifully.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, that is it for today's debate battle. Molly crown Spider-Man the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?
MOLLY: Head to smashboom.org, and vote to tell us who you think won.
MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios.
PETER MCNERNEY: It's produced by [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MATT ALLEN: Our editors are [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
PETER MCNERNEY: And we had production help from [LISTING HONOR ROLL]
MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is [LISTING HONOR ROLL] Our announcer is [LISTING HONOR ROLL] And we want to give a special thanks to [LISTING HONOR ROLL] Matt, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MATT ALLEN: Yes. I want to give a shout out to everybody in the Nerdy Club. Thank you for supporting me in this head to head debate. And as always, I want to give all the love to the Kevin Conroy fans and family. We love you.
MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Peter? Any special shout outs?
PETER MCNERNEY: Big shout out to the Story Pirates and the Story Pirate podcast. My family who tried to disrupt this recording several times and failed.
[ALL LAUGHING]
MOLLY BLOOM: And Molly, do you want to give any special thanks or shout outs?
MOLLY: Yes. I'd like to give a shout out to you, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: [GASPS] Molly.
MOLLY: To my family, especially my two sisters, Winnie and Imogene, and to my seventh grade math class for letting me leave early.
MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Before we go, let's check in with Emma and see who she thinks should win her polar bears versus grizzlies debate.
EMMA: I think polar bears would win because they can survive in the North Pole.
MOLLY BLOOM: Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate? Head to smashboom.org, and tell us about it. This is our last episode of the season, but we'll be back with new episodes in August. Bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Ah, you're Smash Boom Best. Ah, put you through the test. Ah, you're the Smash Boom Best. Ah, better than the rest. It's the Smash Boom Best. It's the Smash Boom Best.
PETER MCNERNEY: It's funny. I really am way more of a Batman fan.
MATT ALLEN: I really more of a Spider-Man fan. It was like so funny how that works out.
PETER MCNERNEY: You know, it's like, oh, it's painful. But then I'm also convincing myself that I'm like, oh, no. Spider-Man is better.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
MATT ALLEN: You had to believe it in order to make it work.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
MATT ALLEN: You had to believe it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Exactly.
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