Brains On host Molly Bloom needs a haircut! The only problem is we don’t know what kind of cut she should get. Molly wants something simple, while producers Marc Sanchez and Sanden Totten think she should get a mullet or mohawk! And at Brains On HQ there's only one way to settle a dispute: with a Sneak Attack! Grab your Smarty Pass for this hair raising game!
Audio Transcript
ANNOUNCER: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, Smarty Pal. I'm headed to the Brains On Barber Shop to get my hair cut. Ordinarily, I would get my lobster Gary to cut my hair, but he's been real crabby lately. Oh, hey, it's producer Sanden Totten and Marc Sanchez.
MARC SANCHEZ: Hi-ya, Molly.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Hey, Molly. What are you doing here?
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm trying to get my hair cut. What are you two doing here?
MARC SANCHEZ: I'm here for a haircut, too.
SANDEN TOTTEN: And I like to collect loose hair.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sanden, we keep telling you to stop collecting hair.
MARC SANCHEZ: It's unsettling.
SANDEN TOTTEN: No, no, it's not unsettling. I'm just gathering hair to make tiny dolls out of that I talk to at night.
MOLLY BLOOM: That makes it more unsettling.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, OK, so Molly, what kind of haircut were you thinking?
MOLLY BLOOM: Just something easy peasy. I don't want to do anything drastic.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, you should get a mohawk!
MOLLY BLOOM: What?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yeah, a mohawk! You cut everything off the sides and have just a cool line of hair going down your head. You'll look like a rockstar. People will go, oh, my gosh, is that Molly Bloom? And you'll be like, [LAUGHS] of course it is. Who else looks this good?
MOLLY BLOOM: I don't know about that, Sanden.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, she's right, Sanden. She should totally get a mullet.
MOLLY BLOOM: What?
MARC SANCHEZ: You know, short hair on the front and both sides, but long in the back. The mullet is powerful, mysterious, and chic. People will see you walking down the street and go, is that retired NBA superstar Larry Bird? And you'll go, even better-- it's me, Molly Bloom! And then fireworks will blast in the background. Kaboom.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Marc, that's ridiculous.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'll say.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Obviously, she needs a mohawk.
MARC SANCHEZ: Mohawk? More like no-hawk. A mullet is timeless.
SANDEN TOTTEN: [LAUGHS] Trust me on this one. The time has come for the mullet to go, unlike the dynamic power of the mohawk, its staying power.
MARC SANCHEZ: Hmm, looks like we're at an impasse!
SANDEN TOTTEN: And at Brains On HQ, whenever there's an argument, we settle things with a sneak attack. Winner decides Molly's haircut.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wait, guys, don't!
THEME MUSIC: Ha-ha! Hoo-ha!
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: No, not the music! Ugh, no, we got to play. It's the law.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, don't worry, Molly. I'm going to win.
MARC SANCHEZ: No, it's cool. I'll win.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'll be the loser regardless. [SIGHS] Here we go. Your sneak attack is called rhyme time. In the next 30 seconds, you must come up with words or phrases that rhyme with your haircut. Come up with as many as you can and be expressive about it. For example, if my side was bare, I might come up with hair, fluffy chair, play that snare. Hey there. Over where? Nowhere. Don't care. Beware the deadly stare. Does that make sense to you two?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Mm-hmm.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, yeah.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Totally.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Sanden, you're going to go first. I'm going to time you. You have 30 seconds to give us some rhymes for mohawk. And your time starts now.
SANDEN TOTTEN: OK, well, set the clock for mohawk because we're going to take a walk down the block. Uh, chickens go bok-bok and the mohawk is going to squawk like a mohawk squawk. Can you rock? Yes, um, you can also talk. Ticky tick tick tok with the mohawk talk. And, um, gawk at that cool mohawk. Walk. Wakka walk walk. Uh, that's OK. What else can I do?
MOLLY BLOOM: And time.
[LAUGHTER]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Don't knock it till you try it, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, dear. OK, well, now it's Marc's turn. Let's get some rhymes for mullet. You got 30 seconds, my friend, and your time starts now.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, so easy. Uh, why don't you just put that mullet in your gullet? 'Cause it's so delicious, and maybe when you go to sleep at night, you can lull it to sleep. It'll help you get lulled to sleep. And if you want some more opinions, why don't you cull it? You know, cull this haircut, uh, choices. Maybe if you want to take your water out of the bath you can pull it. Pull the tub tube out--
MOLLY BLOOM: Time.
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, so many rhymes for mullet. So many rhymes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Never a dull it moment.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, come on. You're showing off.
SANDEN TOTTEN: That was a stretch, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, they're all a stretch.
MARC SANCHEZ: That was a real stretch. Ugh, make sure you don't cull it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nothing rhymes with mullet. [LAUGHS] Well, fellas, I gotta say, those were some good rhymes.
SANDEN TOTTEN: But who was the best?
MARC SANCHEZ: Yeah, Molly, which haircut are you going to get?
MOLLY BLOOM: You see, the thing about that is I just don't-- oh, Gary, my pet lobster! Thank goodness you're here. You've got to help me. Marc and Sanden are trying to give me a haircut.
[CLAWS CLACKING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Ahh! Watch out for his claws.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Ah! He's so crabby. Shoo! Shoo, lobster! Ahh!
MOLLY BLOOM: Lobster. [LAUGHS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie and Anna Goldfield. Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman, and the executives in charge of APM Studios are Chandra Kavati, Joanne Griffith, and Alex Schaffert. Brains On is a non-profit Public Radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. We appreciate you.
MARC SANCHEZ: Ta-ta.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARC SANCHEZ: Is that retired NBA superstar Larry Bird?
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