Breakfast, it's the meal of champions. But producer Ruby Guthrie thinks champions should eat toast while producer Anna Weggel believes they should eat cereal. Lucky for these two Brains On host Molly Bloom has the tastiest of ways to settle this dispute.
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CREW: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, smarty pal. Do you know we have our own breakfast chef here at Brains On headquarters? Her name is Peggy Lagrange, and she studied the fine art of breakfast in Northern Ireland. Producers Ruby Guthrie and Anna Weigle, what are you doing in the kitchen? Where's Peggy?
ANNA WEIGLE: Hey, Molly. We were looking to get some breakfast.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah, but it looks like Peggy's longtime breakfast rival, Amelia Jackson, called Peggy's eggs runny and challenged her to an egg-off back in Northern Ireland. Aghast, she ran to Belfast real fast for breakfast.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's so dramatic and rhymey.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Such is life. Now the only thing we have to eat is cereal and toast.
ANNA WEIGLE: Which is fine because that's the best breakfast anyway. Ruby, pass me a bowl.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Anna, don't you mean a plate?
ANNA WEIGLE: Uh, no. How am I going to eat cereal off a plate?
RUBY GUTHRIE: You wouldn't eat cereal off of a plate, you'd eat toast.
ANNA WEIGLE: Toast? Toast? I wouldn't eat your barbecued loaf if it were the last food on Earth.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Are you kidding? Toast is a classic. Cereal is just cold soup with chunks of wheat and corn.
ANNA WEIGLE: I am sick of you besmirching my wheat chunks.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Whoa. I didn't know you were so divided on this tasty subject. There's only one thing to do.
ANNA WEIGLE: Maybe we wait an hour and go for brunch?
RUBY GUTHRIE: Oh, yeah. I like that plan a lot. No. I mean it's time for a sneak attack.
CREW: Ha ha hoo ha. Sneak attack.
ANNA WEIGLE: Molly, we were just discussing brunch.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah, there's no way you're sneak attack could beat the fusion of both lunch and breakfast, that is known as brunch.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, don't worry. This sneak attack will double as a snack attack because the winner of the sneak attack will win my emergency pancakes.
ANNA WEIGLE: Why do you have emergency pancakes?
MOLLY BLOOM: Because I keep eating my emergency waffles, Anna. Now, let's play. Your sneak attack is Carnival Barker. In this challenge, you're trying to lure people into buying your breakfast. Sell them on why this thing is what they want. Give a special spiel. Be a pushy salesman. Ruby, you'll be representing toast. While Anna, you'll be selling cereal. Are you two ready for your sneak attack?
ANNA WEIGLE: Yes.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yes.
ANNA WEIGLE: Bring it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anna, you're going to go first. Sell us on cereal.
ANNA WEIGLE: Step right up friends and witness the breakfast sensation that's going to dazzle your taste buds and slide down your hungry throat with ease. Introducing cereal. Do you like having an intact mouth that hasn't been ravaged by a sharp, pokey, knifey, bread product? Do you like your food to be dancing in a sea of milky delight? Who doesn't want their breakfast pre-moistened by a cow? Every spoonful of cereal is a ticket to a delicious mouth party. And guess what? You're the guest. Try it today, cereal.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow. I'm sold, all right. Ruby, your turn. Convince us to buy some toast.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Step right up, step right up. You've got the munchies, well, get some crunchy bread into your system. Spread it with jam. It is the best texture there ever was. A little squishy in the middle, but nice and crunchy on the surface. Make a sandwich. It makes it better when it's toasted. Mmm. And it's best with an egg on top. You don't need soggy cereal. Get some toast, and you'll love it the most.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, a good rhyme there at the end. OK, you two. Those were some scrumptious sounding spiels.
ANNA WEIGLE: Molly, enough with your alliterations. Who won the sneak attack?
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah. Who gets your emergency pancakes?
MOLLY BLOOM: That's an easy one. The winner of the emergency pancakes is.
AMELIA JACKSON: Me.
MOLLY, RUBY, AND ANNA: Super chef Amelia Jackson?
MOLLY BLOOM: But you're supposed to be in a breakfast battle with Peggy.
AMELIA JACKSON: And with your emergency pancakes, I'll be sure to win. Thank you, Molly. [LAUGHS]
ANNA WEIGLE: She's running off with our prize.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Quick to Northern Ireland.
MOLLY BLOOM: Quick to Northern Ireland. That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by our Aderon Woldes Lassie and Anna Goldfield. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the executives in charge of APM Studios are Chandra Covatti, Joanne Griffith, and Alex Schaffert. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
RUBY GUTHRIE: We appreciate you.
ANNA WEIGLE: Bye.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Toodles.
[MUSIC PLAYING] It's smash boom best. It's smash boom best.
ANNA WEIGLE: Who doesn't want their breakfast pre-moistened by a cow?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, smarty pal. Do you know we have our own breakfast chef here at Brains On headquarters? Her name is Peggy Lagrange, and she studied the fine art of breakfast in Northern Ireland. Producers Ruby Guthrie and Anna Weigle, what are you doing in the kitchen? Where's Peggy?
ANNA WEIGLE: Hey, Molly. We were looking to get some breakfast.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah, but it looks like Peggy's longtime breakfast rival, Amelia Jackson, called Peggy's eggs runny and challenged her to an egg-off back in Northern Ireland. Aghast, she ran to Belfast real fast for breakfast.
MOLLY BLOOM: That's so dramatic and rhymey.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Such is life. Now the only thing we have to eat is cereal and toast.
ANNA WEIGLE: Which is fine because that's the best breakfast anyway. Ruby, pass me a bowl.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Anna, don't you mean a plate?
ANNA WEIGLE: Uh, no. How am I going to eat cereal off a plate?
RUBY GUTHRIE: You wouldn't eat cereal off of a plate, you'd eat toast.
ANNA WEIGLE: Toast? Toast? I wouldn't eat your barbecued loaf if it were the last food on Earth.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Are you kidding? Toast is a classic. Cereal is just cold soup with chunks of wheat and corn.
ANNA WEIGLE: I am sick of you besmirching my wheat chunks.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Whoa. I didn't know you were so divided on this tasty subject. There's only one thing to do.
ANNA WEIGLE: Maybe we wait an hour and go for brunch?
RUBY GUTHRIE: Oh, yeah. I like that plan a lot. No. I mean it's time for a sneak attack.
CREW: Ha ha hoo ha. Sneak attack.
ANNA WEIGLE: Molly, we were just discussing brunch.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah, there's no way you're sneak attack could beat the fusion of both lunch and breakfast, that is known as brunch.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, don't worry. This sneak attack will double as a snack attack because the winner of the sneak attack will win my emergency pancakes.
ANNA WEIGLE: Why do you have emergency pancakes?
MOLLY BLOOM: Because I keep eating my emergency waffles, Anna. Now, let's play. Your sneak attack is Carnival Barker. In this challenge, you're trying to lure people into buying your breakfast. Sell them on why this thing is what they want. Give a special spiel. Be a pushy salesman. Ruby, you'll be representing toast. While Anna, you'll be selling cereal. Are you two ready for your sneak attack?
ANNA WEIGLE: Yes.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yes.
ANNA WEIGLE: Bring it.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anna, you're going to go first. Sell us on cereal.
ANNA WEIGLE: Step right up friends and witness the breakfast sensation that's going to dazzle your taste buds and slide down your hungry throat with ease. Introducing cereal. Do you like having an intact mouth that hasn't been ravaged by a sharp, pokey, knifey, bread product? Do you like your food to be dancing in a sea of milky delight? Who doesn't want their breakfast pre-moistened by a cow? Every spoonful of cereal is a ticket to a delicious mouth party. And guess what? You're the guest. Try it today, cereal.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, wow. I'm sold, all right. Ruby, your turn. Convince us to buy some toast.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Step right up, step right up. You've got the munchies, well, get some crunchy bread into your system. Spread it with jam. It is the best texture there ever was. A little squishy in the middle, but nice and crunchy on the surface. Make a sandwich. It makes it better when it's toasted. Mmm. And it's best with an egg on top. You don't need soggy cereal. Get some toast, and you'll love it the most.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, a good rhyme there at the end. OK, you two. Those were some scrumptious sounding spiels.
ANNA WEIGLE: Molly, enough with your alliterations. Who won the sneak attack?
RUBY GUTHRIE: Yeah. Who gets your emergency pancakes?
MOLLY BLOOM: That's an easy one. The winner of the emergency pancakes is.
AMELIA JACKSON: Me.
MOLLY, RUBY, AND ANNA: Super chef Amelia Jackson?
MOLLY BLOOM: But you're supposed to be in a breakfast battle with Peggy.
AMELIA JACKSON: And with your emergency pancakes, I'll be sure to win. Thank you, Molly. [LAUGHS]
ANNA WEIGLE: She's running off with our prize.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Quick to Northern Ireland.
MOLLY BLOOM: Quick to Northern Ireland. That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by our Aderon Woldes Lassie and Anna Goldfield. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman. And the executives in charge of APM Studios are Chandra Covatti, Joanne Griffith, and Alex Schaffert. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
RUBY GUTHRIE: We appreciate you.
ANNA WEIGLE: Bye.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Toodles.
[MUSIC PLAYING] It's smash boom best. It's smash boom best.
ANNA WEIGLE: Who doesn't want their breakfast pre-moistened by a cow?
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