How many times have you asked yourself: which is better, Sanden or a Velociraptor? On the one hand, Velociraptors hunt in packs, but on the other hand, Sanden Totten is funny. Sanden has great hair, but Velociraptors have been featured in several movies. It’s impossible to decide. Well, grab your Smarty Pass because with the help of a fun game we’ll decide which is best Sanden or a Velociraptor!
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AUDIO TRACK: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[BEEPS AND WHIRS]
MARC SANCHEZ: Hey, Smarty Pal. Marc Sanchez here, and I'm with my friend Anna Goldfield.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Yeah. Marc and I were headed to the Brains On racetrack to see who's faster, my snail Lola, or his sloth, Alfred.
MARC SANCHEZ: Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is even going to drive her car.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: With gusto, that's how.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, hey, guys.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom. Are you coming to watch the race?
MOLLY BLOOM: No I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sanden Totten anywhere, have you?
MARC SANCHEZ: No, why?
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow-up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous period running around?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask?
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, you know how we have that super duper 3D bio printer in the basement?
MARC SANCHEZ: I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I used it to make a Velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Of course.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anyway, I 3D printed a Velociraptor. But just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled sandin's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off.
MARC SANCHEZ: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I know. He loves that bread.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wait, what's the big deal?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I mean, if Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a Velociraptor.
MARC SANCHEZ: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny and kind and has great hair.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, Velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated?
MARC SANCHEZ: He has the perfect amount of teeth, because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky dino is as good as our Sanden?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: No, I think Sanden's great. But he doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a Velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else?
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Sanden Totten.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I just really like dinosaurs.
MARC SANCHEZ: And Sanden is my friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, there's only one way to find out which is better-- with a--
AUDIO TRACK: Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll play by any other name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sanden and velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Marc, you'll be representing Sanden. And Anna, you'll be representing Velociraptors. Does that make sense to you two?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Totally, got it.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, absolutely. It's my honor.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Marc, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten.
MARC SANCHEZ: All right, let's see. Sanden is a world class dresser. So I'm going to call-- another name for Sanden Totten would be Fun Loving Fashionista.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, very nice. OK, Anna. What would you call a Velociraptor if you couldn't say Velociraptor?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I want to start simple. I'm going to go with Legs.
[LAUGHS]
Because they're really fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Marc. It is time for Sanden's second alternate name.
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. I'm sticking with Sanden's traits here. Fan of punk rock, also a fan of giving very specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sanden is Punk Rock Presenter of Perfect Presence.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna. Time for your second alternative name for Velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: OK, so as we all know, birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy Velociraptor a Chompy Chicken.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right, Marc. Please give us the final alternate name for Sanden.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if we really want to know Sanden's alternate name, of course it's Peppy McPeppermint. Because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wow.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Anna. Please give us your final alternative name for Velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, this is the one I was saving for last and Marc totally pulled the rug out from under me, because I'm-- Velociraptor in Latin translates to speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for name for Velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh. OK, those are really great names, you two.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, whatever you call 'em, Sanden is the best I think--
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
SANDEN TOTTEN: You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Does it have 60 teeth?
MOLLY BLOOM: Does it know how to salsa?
[YELLS]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Send help, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humpert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. Bye.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: See ya.
(SINGING) Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, better than the rest
You're the Smash Boom Best
You're the Smash Boom Best
[BEEPS AND WHIRS]
MARC SANCHEZ: Hey, Smarty Pal. Marc Sanchez here, and I'm with my friend Anna Goldfield.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Yeah. Marc and I were headed to the Brains On racetrack to see who's faster, my snail Lola, or his sloth, Alfred.
MARC SANCHEZ: Alfred is incredible behind the wheel. Anna, how is even going to drive her car.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: With gusto, that's how.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, hey, guys.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if it isn't Molly Bloom. Are you coming to watch the race?
MOLLY BLOOM: No I'm actually looking for something. You haven't seen Sanden Totten anywhere, have you?
MARC SANCHEZ: No, why?
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, it doesn't matter. Follow-up question. Have you seen anyone from the Cretaceous period running around?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Not since Christmas, no. Why do you ask?
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, you know how we have that super duper 3D bio printer in the basement?
MARC SANCHEZ: I sure do. I use it whenever I need someone to carpool with.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, I used it to make a Velociraptor so I could finally teach a lizard how to salsa.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Of course.
MOLLY BLOOM: Anyway, I 3D printed a Velociraptor. But just to be safe, I made sure it was vegan so it wouldn't eat any of us. But the minute we started to dance, it smelled sandin's vegan pumpkin bread and ran off.
MARC SANCHEZ: If it eats Sanden's pumpkin bread, Sanden will be heartbroken.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I know. He loves that bread.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wait, what's the big deal?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I mean, if Sanden's allowed to eat the pumpkin bread, then so should a Velociraptor.
MARC SANCHEZ: Sanden gets to eat that because he's funny and kind and has great hair.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, Velociraptors run at a speed of 24 miles per hour and have 60 serrated teeth. Does Sanden have that many teeth? Are his teeth even serrated?
MARC SANCHEZ: He has the perfect amount of teeth, because he's perfect. Do you really think a dinky dino is as good as our Sanden?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: No, I think Sanden's great. But he doesn't have claws or feathers. And when you think about it, shouldn't a Velociraptor get as much vegan pumpkin bread as anyone else?
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow, I didn't think you two were so polarized when it came to velociraptors and Sanden Totten.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I just really like dinosaurs.
MARC SANCHEZ: And Sanden is my friend.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, there's only one way to find out which is better-- with a--
AUDIO TRACK: Sneak Attack.
MOLLY BLOOM: We'll play by any other name. For this sneak attack, you must pretend Sanden and velociraptors don't have names. Come up with three alternative names for your side. Marc, you'll be representing Sanden. And Anna, you'll be representing Velociraptors. Does that make sense to you two?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Totally, got it.
MARC SANCHEZ: Oh, absolutely. It's my honor.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Marc, you'll go first. Please give us a nickname for Mr. Totten.
MARC SANCHEZ: All right, let's see. Sanden is a world class dresser. So I'm going to call-- another name for Sanden Totten would be Fun Loving Fashionista.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, very nice. OK, Anna. What would you call a Velociraptor if you couldn't say Velociraptor?
ANNA GOLDFIELD: I want to start simple. I'm going to go with Legs.
[LAUGHS]
Because they're really fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Marc. It is time for Sanden's second alternate name.
MARC SANCHEZ: OK. I'm sticking with Sanden's traits here. Fan of punk rock, also a fan of giving very specific gifts to people. He's a great gift giver. People don't know this. So I'm going to say another word for Sanden is Punk Rock Presenter of Perfect Presence.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, alliteration. I love it. All right, Anna. Time for your second alternative name for Velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: OK, so as we all know, birds are descended directly from dinosaurs. So I'm going to go ahead and call the toothy Velociraptor a Chompy Chicken.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: Another alliterative name. I'm into it. All right, Marc. Please give us the final alternate name for Sanden.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, if we really want to know Sanden's alternate name, of course it's Peppy McPeppermint. Because he's so peppy, he's got so much energy, and he's cool like a mint.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Wow.
[LAUGHS]
MOLLY BLOOM: All right, Anna. Please give us your final alternative name for Velociraptors.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Well, this is the one I was saving for last and Marc totally pulled the rug out from under me, because I'm-- Velociraptor in Latin translates to speedy snatcher or grabber. So my final submission for name for Velociraptor is Speedy McGrabs.
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I love this. Peppy McPeppermint versus Speedy McGrabs. Ooh. OK, those are really great names, you two.
MARC SANCHEZ: Well, whatever you call 'em, Sanden is the best I think--
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
SANDEN TOTTEN: You guys, a dinosaur in my office is eating all of my pumpkin bread.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: Does it have 60 teeth?
MOLLY BLOOM: Does it know how to salsa?
[YELLS]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Send help, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MOLLY BLOOM: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humpert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends. Bye.
ANNA GOLDFIELD: See ya.
(SINGING) Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, better than the rest
You're the Smash Boom Best
You're the Smash Boom Best
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