Uh oh, Molly is late to a Smash Boom Best taping of Elevators vs. Escalators! But things get worse when she runs into the all-knowing elevator at Brains On HQ, who demands she play a special sneak attack! Will Molly make it to the taping on time?
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ELEVATOR: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[BEEPING]
[FRANTIC PRESSING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I'm late. Elevator, quick, quick. Come on.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
ELEVATOR: Don't push my buttons, Molly. Use your words.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sorry, Elevator. Please take me to the studio on the 49th floor ASAP. I'm late for our Smash Boom Best taping of elevators versus escalators.
ELEVATOR: Elevators versus escalators?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ELEVATOR: Is it really a debate?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, it is.
ELEVATOR: Isn't it obvious who will win?
MOLLY BLOOM: I don't know. They're both pretty cool.
ELEVATOR: Wrong answer, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: But, Elevator!
ELEVATOR: Elevators go faster, higher, and carry more weight than escalators. If you were taking an escalator to the 49th floor, it'd take you forever. Elevators can travel 2,000 feet per minute.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK?
ELEVATOR: Seriously, I am very fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, maybe you could show me and take me to the 49th floor?
ELEVATOR: Fine. Hold on, Molly.
[COUNTDOWN BEEPING]
[ELEVATOR SPEEDING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [SCREAMS]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
ELEVATOR: 49th floor.
MOLLY BLOOM: [SIGHS] That was fast. But the ride could have been a little smoother.
ELEVATOR: My apologies, but elevators are still better. I will prove it to you. We will perform a--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
ELEVATOR: I will be elevators. You will be escalators.
MOLLY BLOOM: Please just open up.
ELEVATOR: Not until the sneak attack challenge is completed.
MOLLY BLOOM: Elevator!
ELEVATOR: The debate can wait. I rarely feel such passion. Please give this to me.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, fine. I've got a grab bag of sneak attacks in my parachute pants pocket. One sec. Oops, not that. Nope. Where did that come from? Oh, there's my cottage cheese. Ah, here it is. All right. Our sneak attack is super fan. For this challenge, we need to make up a chant that's four lines long about why our sides are the best. Got it?
ELEVATOR: Of course. Escalators will be going down imminently.
MOLLY BLOOM: Let me grab a coin from my other parachute pants pocket and see who should go first. Heads or tails?
ELEVATOR: Tails.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's--
[CLINKS]
--heads. OK. I guess that means I go first. All right.
(CHANTING) Escalators take you for a ride. They are the best inside or outside. When there's an escalator, everyone cheers. Escalators are the stairs of the year!
[CHEERING]
How was that?
ELEVATOR: [ROBOTIC LAUGH]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, Escalator, you have such a contagious laugh.
ELEVATOR: That's what everyone tells me.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, it's your turn.
ELEVATOR: All right. Get ready for some good times.
(CHANTING) Elevator elevates your groceries, heart, and mind. Faster, higher, on a wire, leave those stairs behind.
[APPLAUSE]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. That was a really good, Elevator.
ELEVATOR: Thank you, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: That was pretty exciting, wasn't it?
ELEVATOR: That was very exciting. But I think we both know the only people who can judge are our listeners.
MOLLY BLOOM: True. Now, can you please--
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Oh! Thank you, Elevator.
ELEVATOR: Of course. Here to elevate transportation conversations one floor at a time.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[THEME MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: And that's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humpert. Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman, and the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
ELEVATOR: Bye-bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: Bye-Bye!
SINGERS: (SINGING) Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
[BEEPING]
[FRANTIC PRESSING]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ooh, I'm late. Elevator, quick, quick. Come on.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
ELEVATOR: Don't push my buttons, Molly. Use your words.
MOLLY BLOOM: Sorry, Elevator. Please take me to the studio on the 49th floor ASAP. I'm late for our Smash Boom Best taping of elevators versus escalators.
ELEVATOR: Elevators versus escalators?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah.
ELEVATOR: Is it really a debate?
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, it is.
ELEVATOR: Isn't it obvious who will win?
MOLLY BLOOM: I don't know. They're both pretty cool.
ELEVATOR: Wrong answer, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: But, Elevator!
ELEVATOR: Elevators go faster, higher, and carry more weight than escalators. If you were taking an escalator to the 49th floor, it'd take you forever. Elevators can travel 2,000 feet per minute.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK?
ELEVATOR: Seriously, I am very fast.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, maybe you could show me and take me to the 49th floor?
ELEVATOR: Fine. Hold on, Molly.
[COUNTDOWN BEEPING]
[ELEVATOR SPEEDING]
MOLLY BLOOM: [SCREAMS]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
ELEVATOR: 49th floor.
MOLLY BLOOM: [SIGHS] That was fast. But the ride could have been a little smoother.
ELEVATOR: My apologies, but elevators are still better. I will prove it to you. We will perform a--
[CHANTING]
ANNOUNCER: Sneak attack.
ELEVATOR: I will be elevators. You will be escalators.
MOLLY BLOOM: Please just open up.
ELEVATOR: Not until the sneak attack challenge is completed.
MOLLY BLOOM: Elevator!
ELEVATOR: The debate can wait. I rarely feel such passion. Please give this to me.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, fine. I've got a grab bag of sneak attacks in my parachute pants pocket. One sec. Oops, not that. Nope. Where did that come from? Oh, there's my cottage cheese. Ah, here it is. All right. Our sneak attack is super fan. For this challenge, we need to make up a chant that's four lines long about why our sides are the best. Got it?
ELEVATOR: Of course. Escalators will be going down imminently.
MOLLY BLOOM: Let me grab a coin from my other parachute pants pocket and see who should go first. Heads or tails?
ELEVATOR: Tails.
MOLLY BLOOM: It's--
[CLINKS]
--heads. OK. I guess that means I go first. All right.
(CHANTING) Escalators take you for a ride. They are the best inside or outside. When there's an escalator, everyone cheers. Escalators are the stairs of the year!
[CHEERING]
How was that?
ELEVATOR: [ROBOTIC LAUGH]
MOLLY BLOOM: [LAUGHS] Oh, Escalator, you have such a contagious laugh.
ELEVATOR: That's what everyone tells me.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, it's your turn.
ELEVATOR: All right. Get ready for some good times.
(CHANTING) Elevator elevates your groceries, heart, and mind. Faster, higher, on a wire, leave those stairs behind.
[APPLAUSE]
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. That was a really good, Elevator.
ELEVATOR: Thank you, Molly.
MOLLY BLOOM: That was pretty exciting, wasn't it?
ELEVATOR: That was very exciting. But I think we both know the only people who can judge are our listeners.
MOLLY BLOOM: True. Now, can you please--
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Oh! Thank you, Elevator.
ELEVATOR: Of course. Here to elevate transportation conversations one floor at a time.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[THEME MUSIC]
MOLLY BLOOM: And that's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humpert. Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman, and the APM Studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
ELEVATOR: Bye-bye.
MOLLY BLOOM: Bye-Bye!
SINGERS: (SINGING) Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, put it through the test
Oh, yeah, the Smash Boom Best
Oh, better than the rest
It's a Smash Boom Best
It's a Smash Boom Best
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