We’ve all heard of a sneak attack, but have you heard of a “Squeak Attack”? Well, Brains On Producer Marc Sanchez has and he’s ready to dish it out! Grab your Smarty Pass to hear how Producer Aron Woldeslassie fares against the squeak attack!
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NARRATOR: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
MARK: Oh, hi, smarty pals. I'm so glad you're here. I've been working on a brand new sneak attack, and I'm looking for people to try it out on.
ARON: Hey there, Marky Mark. You look like you have a new sneak attack to try out on someone.
MARK: Oh hi, Aron. How could you tell?
ARON: Well, your eyes are darting about feverishly. You're sweating, but only on your upper lip, and your hair is disheveled from the classic Mark scheming pose.
MARK: Oh, you mean when I stand on my head with my feet against the wall?
ARON: That's the one. All that, plus you're carrying a cardboard box that has the words new sneak attack ideas written on the side.
MARK: Ooh! Foiled again by my meticulous labeling practices.
ARON: It's OK. I'll still play, even if you've lost the element of surprise.
MARK: Honestly, surprises irrelevant here, because this isn't a sneak attack. It's a [PLAYING RECORDING] squeak attack! Yeah, today we're not being sneaky. We're being squeaky. I'm going to play three different squeak sounds for you, and you're going to have to guess what made that squeak.
ARON: Oh, wow. You ended up surprising me after all. Was not expecting the attack to be a squeaky one.
MARK: Indeed are you ready, Aron?
ARON: I am absolutely ready. Lay it on me.
MARK: Here's the first squeak.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
What say you?
ARON: Oh, I know that squeak. That's the squeak of a rusty door opening back and forth.
MARK: OK, OK. The answer, my friend, is a door squeak. You've got it 100% correct.
ARON: Bam bam bam bam.
MARK: I'm guessing, I'm just taking a wild stab in the dark here, but I'm guessing you've opened doors in the past.
ARON: You know, I have opened up a few doors, both for me and others if I'm feeling polite.
MARK: Wow, you're a gentleman and a squeaker. All right, here's your second squeak.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
ARON: OK.
MARK: Sound familiar?
ARON: This is weirdly hard. OK because when you introduced this idea, I thought these would be animals, first of all, so, that's where my head is at.
MARK: I mean, maybe this is an animal. I'm not saying.
ARON: OK.
MARK: I'm not saying it is, and I'm not saying it isn't.
ARON: OK, so it's definitely-- Can I hear it again?
MARK: Sure, sure. Here it is.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
Do you need a hint?
ARON: I think I might. So at first I was like, these have got to be bats or something, but now I'm hearing it again. Is this sneakers or is this basketball shoes hitting the court?
MARK: Yes, exactly. It's a true sneak attack and a squeak attack.
ARON: When I first heard that, I was like, are these balloons being rubbed against--
MARK: Together.
ARON: Yeah, I was like, I had no idea. That probably tells you how often I play basketball.
MARK: Well, you better get back out on the courts.
ARON: Always.
MARK: So you can enjoy that squeak. All right. Your third and final squeak for the day. Here it is.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
All right, before you answer, can I ask you a question?
ARON: Yes, please do.
MARK: Did that sound put a smile on your face?
ARON: It did. I'm absolutely certain this is not basketball related.
MARK: Correct. It's definitely an animal.
ARON: The only question is, what kind of animal? Because it could be a baby. I want to say a rodent of some kind, because it was like--
MARK: You're in the right age group. You're in the right age group.
ARON: I'm in the right age group, but it's not a rodent. Is that so? That's what I'm getting from that.
MARK: Yeah. OK.
ARON: Can I please hear it one more time?
MARK: Sure. Sure. Here we go.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
ARON: OK. It's definitely a baby, but I don't think it's a baby pig, and I didn't hear any too long of whines. So I don't think it's a baby dog or puppy. Is it a kitten?
MARK: It is not a kitten. I'm so sorry. You're overthinking it because you passed what it was.
ARON: Is it a puppy?
MARK: It is. It's multiple puppies nursing. Well, Aron, you did it. You played my [PLAYING RECORDING] Squeak attack.
ARON: And yet another surprise, I actually had fun. Hey, what else is in that box, by the way?
MARK: Well, let's see. I have plans for a sleek attack. That's where I make floors really slippery, and then there's a bleak attack. That's why I read your headlines from today's newspaper.
[CLINKING]
And, oh, a chic attack. This one is where I challenge you to make a stylish outfit out of whatever is in your refrigerator. And there is the leak attack.
ARON: Where I have to fix the plumbing or something?
MARK: That's a good idea, but no, not L-E-A-K. I mean L-E-E-K like leek, the edible plant that looks like a giant scallion. That's where I get someone to make me a big batch of potato and leek soup, because I'm pretty hungry.
ARON: Well, mark, I'll let you know if we have any use for these for the new season of Smash Boom Best.
MARK: I certainly hope you do.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was written by Molly Bloom and produced by the squeaky Aron Woldeslassie. Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman and the APM studios executives in charge are [? Chandra ?] [? Kavadi ?] and Joanne Griffith. Smash Boom Best is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
[? MARK: ?] Bye bye.
NARRATOR: Sneak you later.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
(SINGING) Ooh, you're the smash boom best
Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the smash boom best
Ooh, better than the rest
It's smash boom best
It's smash boom best
MARK: Oh, hi, smarty pals. I'm so glad you're here. I've been working on a brand new sneak attack, and I'm looking for people to try it out on.
ARON: Hey there, Marky Mark. You look like you have a new sneak attack to try out on someone.
MARK: Oh hi, Aron. How could you tell?
ARON: Well, your eyes are darting about feverishly. You're sweating, but only on your upper lip, and your hair is disheveled from the classic Mark scheming pose.
MARK: Oh, you mean when I stand on my head with my feet against the wall?
ARON: That's the one. All that, plus you're carrying a cardboard box that has the words new sneak attack ideas written on the side.
MARK: Ooh! Foiled again by my meticulous labeling practices.
ARON: It's OK. I'll still play, even if you've lost the element of surprise.
MARK: Honestly, surprises irrelevant here, because this isn't a sneak attack. It's a [PLAYING RECORDING] squeak attack! Yeah, today we're not being sneaky. We're being squeaky. I'm going to play three different squeak sounds for you, and you're going to have to guess what made that squeak.
ARON: Oh, wow. You ended up surprising me after all. Was not expecting the attack to be a squeaky one.
MARK: Indeed are you ready, Aron?
ARON: I am absolutely ready. Lay it on me.
MARK: Here's the first squeak.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
What say you?
ARON: Oh, I know that squeak. That's the squeak of a rusty door opening back and forth.
MARK: OK, OK. The answer, my friend, is a door squeak. You've got it 100% correct.
ARON: Bam bam bam bam.
MARK: I'm guessing, I'm just taking a wild stab in the dark here, but I'm guessing you've opened doors in the past.
ARON: You know, I have opened up a few doors, both for me and others if I'm feeling polite.
MARK: Wow, you're a gentleman and a squeaker. All right, here's your second squeak.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
ARON: OK.
MARK: Sound familiar?
ARON: This is weirdly hard. OK because when you introduced this idea, I thought these would be animals, first of all, so, that's where my head is at.
MARK: I mean, maybe this is an animal. I'm not saying.
ARON: OK.
MARK: I'm not saying it is, and I'm not saying it isn't.
ARON: OK, so it's definitely-- Can I hear it again?
MARK: Sure, sure. Here it is.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
Do you need a hint?
ARON: I think I might. So at first I was like, these have got to be bats or something, but now I'm hearing it again. Is this sneakers or is this basketball shoes hitting the court?
MARK: Yes, exactly. It's a true sneak attack and a squeak attack.
ARON: When I first heard that, I was like, are these balloons being rubbed against--
MARK: Together.
ARON: Yeah, I was like, I had no idea. That probably tells you how often I play basketball.
MARK: Well, you better get back out on the courts.
ARON: Always.
MARK: So you can enjoy that squeak. All right. Your third and final squeak for the day. Here it is.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
All right, before you answer, can I ask you a question?
ARON: Yes, please do.
MARK: Did that sound put a smile on your face?
ARON: It did. I'm absolutely certain this is not basketball related.
MARK: Correct. It's definitely an animal.
ARON: The only question is, what kind of animal? Because it could be a baby. I want to say a rodent of some kind, because it was like--
MARK: You're in the right age group. You're in the right age group.
ARON: I'm in the right age group, but it's not a rodent. Is that so? That's what I'm getting from that.
MARK: Yeah. OK.
ARON: Can I please hear it one more time?
MARK: Sure. Sure. Here we go.
[PLAYING RECORDING]
ARON: OK. It's definitely a baby, but I don't think it's a baby pig, and I didn't hear any too long of whines. So I don't think it's a baby dog or puppy. Is it a kitten?
MARK: It is not a kitten. I'm so sorry. You're overthinking it because you passed what it was.
ARON: Is it a puppy?
MARK: It is. It's multiple puppies nursing. Well, Aron, you did it. You played my [PLAYING RECORDING] Squeak attack.
ARON: And yet another surprise, I actually had fun. Hey, what else is in that box, by the way?
MARK: Well, let's see. I have plans for a sleek attack. That's where I make floors really slippery, and then there's a bleak attack. That's why I read your headlines from today's newspaper.
[CLINKING]
And, oh, a chic attack. This one is where I challenge you to make a stylish outfit out of whatever is in your refrigerator. And there is the leak attack.
ARON: Where I have to fix the plumbing or something?
MARK: That's a good idea, but no, not L-E-A-K. I mean L-E-E-K like leek, the edible plant that looks like a giant scallion. That's where I get someone to make me a big batch of potato and leek soup, because I'm pretty hungry.
ARON: Well, mark, I'll let you know if we have any use for these for the new season of Smash Boom Best.
MARK: I certainly hope you do.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
NARRATOR: That's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was written by Molly Bloom and produced by the squeaky Aron Woldeslassie. Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman and the APM studios executives in charge are [? Chandra ?] [? Kavadi ?] and Joanne Griffith. Smash Boom Best is a non-profit public radio program. Thanks, Smarty Pass friends.
[? MARK: ?] Bye bye.
NARRATOR: Sneak you later.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
(SINGING) Ooh, you're the smash boom best
Ooh, put you through the test
Ooh, you're the smash boom best
Ooh, better than the rest
It's smash boom best
It's smash boom best
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