May 1, 2025
Accordions vs. Bagpipes
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RSSToday’s debate is a majestic musical showdown – it’s accordions vs. bagpipes! Singing the praises of the squeezebox is comedian, voice actor and writer Mary Mack, while Brains On Universe Producer Aron Woldeslassie will try to snag a win for the windy warbler. Which instrument will strike the right chord and win the day? Vote below for the team YOU think won!
Also… do you have your Smarty Pass yet? Get yours today for just $5/month (or $45/year) and get bonus episodes every month, and ad-free versions of every episode of Brains On, Smash Boom Best, Moment of Um and Forever Ago. Visit www.smartypass.org to get your Smarty Pass today. As an added bonus, your Smarty Pass will grant you access to a super special debate starring Sanden and Molly!
Educators - Lesson plan for Smash Boom Best - Accordions vs. Bagpipes [Right click to download]
Audio Transcript
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MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.
PHOENIX: The show for people with big opinions.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Hi. I'm Anna Weggel, filling in for Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, Smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a majestic musical showdown. It's accordions versus bagpipes. We've got comedian, voice actor, and writer Mary Mack ready to sing the praises of the squeezebox for team accordions.
MARY MACK: Accordion for the win. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The crowd goes wild.
[VOCALIZING]
ANNA WEGGEL: And Brains On Producer Aron Woldeslassie is here to try to snag a win for the windy warbler, team bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, Anna boy, the pipes, the pipes are winning.
ANNA WEGGEL: How did you know my nickname, Anna boy?
[LAUGHTER]
And here to judge it all is Phoenix from Auckland, New Zealand. Loves Dungeons and Dragons, eating any kind of soup, and playing the whistle. Hi, Phoenix.
PHOENIX: Hi.
ANNA WEGGEL: So, Phoenix, can you tell us, because maybe not everyone knows, what being a whistleblower player means?
PHOENIX: So a whistle is essentially an Irish tin whistle. So it's a metal whistle. It looks quite a lot like a recorder. It's better. And you play a lot of jigs and reels on it. And I probably am a bit more biased towards bagpipes, because instruments that you blow with your mouth and all that.
ANNA WEGGEL: What's your favorite song to play on the whistle, please?
PHOENIX: I like playing the SpongeBob theme. It's very fast and quite hard.
ANNA WEGGEL: What is your DND character like?
PHOENIX: My DND character is a changeling cleric with the biggest not-my-problem attitude that you'll ever find.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ooh, I love that. Does that have certain aspects that your own personality has?
PHOENIX: Probably leaning into a lot of the darker aspects of human-- the human condition mostly.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh my gosh. Why aren't we playing DND right now?
[LAUGHTER]
What are we doing.? Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
PHOENIX: Play fair.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
ANNA WEGGEL: Important.
MARY MACK: Check.
ANNA WEGGEL: Will Phoenix side with Mary or Aron? Only time will tell. But first--
PHOENIX: Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program.
ANNA WEGGEL: That's right, Phoenix, which means we rely on support from our listeners to keep the show going. There are lots of ways you can support the show.
PHOENIX: You can donate, become a smartpath subscriber or buy our merch.
ANNA WEGGEL: Like a Smash Boom Best hoodie, pencil pouch, or keychain?
PHOENIX: Head to smashboom.org to show your support, and thanks.
ANNA WEGGEL: Now on to the rules. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge, Phoenix, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Mary, Aron, and Phoenix, are you ready?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Let's do this.
MARY MACK: Mhm.
PHOENIX: I'm ready as I'll ever be.
ANNA WEGGEL: Then it's time for the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Declaration of Greatness.
ANNA WEGGEL: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and. Mary, you're up first. Tell us all about the allure of the accordion.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary. Hey, Mary, it's your Smash Boom Best producer Anna Weggel here. Can you please stop dancing?
MARY MACK: Sorry, Anna, can't stop. I'm having too much fun with this accordion-based music. Yeah. Woohoo.
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary. You're contractually obligated to speak about the accordion's greatness.
MARY MACK: OK. Yeah, I'm getting winded anyways. Right there, listeners, you just heard some of the accordion's greatness, and that it is a major party starter. It first became really popular in the early 1800s when polka music, like you just heard, was all the rage in Europe, because those people knew how to party.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary.
MARY MACK: Oh, sorry. I can't help myself. It's so fun. Accordions have some stellar nicknames too like button box, windjammer, or stomach steinway. Makes you smile, doesn't it? Another nickname, squeezebox, came about because in order to make sound, the musician squeezes the accordion sides to enable its bellows to force air through thin pieces inside, called reeds. Then you use the keys and buttons along each side to turn that air into music.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
The accordion is basically a party in a box. Plus, you can easily sing while playing it. When people play the bagpipes, however, it looks like a giant squid is hanging out of their mouths attacking them. The accordion though, the only thing attacking you are all your fans. Accordions are popular all over the world and in all kinds of music, from fast-paced zydeco in Louisiana--
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
--to Jewish klezmer--
[KLEZMER PLAYING]
--or even swanky, French café jazz.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
Can you imagine trying to sip an espresso in a quaint Parisian cafe listening to the bagpipe?
[BAGPIPE BLOWS]
[SCREAMS] You snuck up on me. Who are you?
LARRY: I'm Larry. I've had 20 years of bagpipe lessons, and that's how good I sound.
MARY MACK: Oh, no. What a waste of money.
LARRY: Wow I can't believe they let me in the studio here. Normally, they force us bagpipers to play outdoors.
MARY MACK: That's right. Larry out you go. Scoot, scoot, scoot. Which brings me to my next point. We mostly listen to the bagpipes outdoors like at poorly attended parades. They're so awful to listen to, people won't even let them inside.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Go away, Larry. With the accordion though, you not only get to come inside. But if you're good enough, you can become a celebrity, like Weird Al Yankovic.
LARRY: Hey, what about all the celebrity bagpipers, like--
MARY MACK: That's right, Larry. There aren't any. I hope the door is still locked. Not only is the accordion beautiful to hear, but it's beautiful to look at too. They come in all shapes and sizes and colors. Some are red or blue or pearlescent. Some are bedazzled with gemstones. Some even have multicolored bellows. A bagpipe, on the other hand, is like a sad, deflated balloon, or maybe a pruned up piece of roadkill with Spears sticking out. Who wants to look at roadkill? Bagpipes don't look great, and they don't sound great.
In the early days of Scotland, bagpipes were used to call soldiers into battle. Maybe because they sounded so terrible, they could scare the enemy away.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
LARRY: No. Anything but bagpipes.
MARY MACK: You ever hear of braveheart, the movie about a fictional Scottish warrior? He probably got that name because he was brave enough to listen to the bagpipe every day and still not quit. The accordion does the opposite of calling folks into battle. It makes people feel good, like they're part of a festive community. It inspires Joy.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
One could even say accordions help create world peace. Come on, Larry, let's dance.
LARRY: No one's ever loved me before.
MARY MACK: I know Larry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Aw. Larry finally found love. What a happy ending.
PHOENIX: Aw.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix What stood out to you about Mary's declaration of greatness?
PHOENIX: It was engaging. And at least you showed examples of the music.
ANNA WEGGEL: Very true. Very true. OK. Aron, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the accordion is just cumbersome? You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So just off the bat, did you notice that the accordion music hijacks the body and forces you to void contracts? That's how our declaration started, all right? And like, did you-- do you know how to make an accordion play on pitch? You throw it on the ground and hope it lands on a bagpipe. That's how you do that, all right? Who plays the accordion? Pirate monkeys. Not hard working, civilian monkeys, but pirate ones. All right? You got to be a criminal to play this thing. Also, did you know--
MARY MACK: Those are concertinas.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Did you know accordions are super heavy? It's interesting you didn't mention that. They're 10 kilos. 20 pounds. They're so heavy. Are you playing an instrument or getting a workout?
ANNA WEGGEL: And time?
MARY MACK: Listen, at least somebody was brave enough to throw an accordion onto a big pipe and smoosh it. That's all I got to say--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: That's the only thing it's good for, throwing it away. That's what people want to be doing, right?
MARY MACK: Of the two most least desirable instruments in the universe, I'd say the accordion is slightly more desirable than the bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's not even an instrument. It's a shoddy shot put. That's what it is, all rigth? It's heavy, and you want to throw it away.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's your turn, Aron. Tell us why bagpipes should blow us away.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Oh, hey there. Name's Rudy Piper. I'm the best darn bagpiper in town. I love playing the bagpipes. They're versatile, remarkable, and tons of fun. But there is one problem with being a bagpiper.
[PHONE RINGING]
RUDY PIPER: Hello.
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You want me to play a wedding?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Sure, as long as I get a slice of cake. [LAUGHS] Anyway, as I was saying--
[PHONE RINGING]
Oops, sorry. Hello.
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You need me to play at a battlefield?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Well, OK, but you need to provide the kilt. [LAUGHS] What I was trying to say was that people always want to hear bagpipes. So you never know when--
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, come on. Hello?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You need me to play at the International Space Station, a very real place where people have played bagpipes?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Fine. But you're driving.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, Rudy sure is busy. But that's the life of a bagpiper. You might think of bagpipes as a Scottish instrument, but people have been playing them all over the world for centuries.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Welcome to the International Bagpipe Association. When I say the name of your bagpipes, please play them. The ney-anban from Iran.
[NAY-ANBAN PLAYING]
The torupill from Estonia.
[TORUPILL PLAYING]
And this just says Lenny?
LENNY: Hi. I'm Lenny, and I play the accordion.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, wow, that's so interesting. Security? Yeah, an accordion could never substitute for the bagpipes. Sure, bagpipes have a truly unique sound, but how they make sound is even more amazing. A bagpiper blows through a long tube to blow up the bag like a balloon. When they squeeze the bag, it forces the air out through other pipes. And that makes the music. Even though the instrument looks like it came from space, it sounds like it came from heaven.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Bagpipes inspired deep appreciation all over the world, but especially in Scotland. Don't take my word for it, though. Here's Scotsman and Smash Boom Best fan Euan Kerr talking about bagpipes.
EUAN KERR: I mean, they were just always there. Growing up in Scotland, it's just part of the national identity. You hear pipe music fairly regularly. I suppose for a long time, my favorite song when I was very young was "Scotland The Brave," which is played on bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Ah, "Scotland The Brave." You've probably heard it before.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Of course it's played on bagpipes. Can you imagine it played on some lesser instrument. Oh, wait, you don't have to. Let me show you.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
Yuck! Sounds like something you'd hear on the poop deck of a pirate ship. And since I don't want scurvy, I won't be looking to hear any of it.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Unlike the accordion, bagpipes are really good at conveying intense emotions. The notes are powerful and continuous, which makes them great for sad dirges or raucous anthems. No matter the genre, bagpipes give music extra oomph.
[GUITAR PLAYS]
SPEAKER 2: Ah, our metal band needs something super hardcore.
RUDY PIPER: Bongos?
SPEAKER 2: Bongos? More like bong knows.
RUDY PIPER: What about an accordion?
SPEAKER 2: Accordion? Oh, this isn't the Polka Pizza Palace. It's a metal band.
RUDY PIPER: Well, how about this?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SPEAKER 2: Oh, dude, that totally rocks.
[GUITAR PLAYS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It does totally rock. Tons of bands have used the bagpipes in their music, including icons like Paul McCartney, AC/DC, and of course, the Red Hot Chili Pipers.
RUDY PIPER: Whoa, did you say the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Great question, Rudy Piper. I said the Red Hot Chili Pipers, the triple platinum Scottish band that's been making awesome bagpipe music for decades. Like this. Hit it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Now that's what I call rock and roll. And that's the power of bagpipes. Bagpipes are great for any occasion. They're played all over the world, and they'll knock your socks off. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get Rudy to outer space for his next bagpiping gig. Let's go, bud.
[BOOM]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow. I feel like Rudy Piper and Larry the accordion player should meet.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I mean, yeah. I think Rudy would be happy to sign an autograph if that's what you're trying to do.
ANNA WEGGEL: And Larry just wants love.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah
ANNA WEGGEL: So, Phoenix, what did you think about Aron's declaration of greatness? Did any moments in his argument really stand out?
PHOENIX: You missed one key point. John Farnham also uses bagpipes in his music.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: That's right.
MARY MACK: This contest is skewed. It is biased from the beginning.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix is a very fair judge. She can handle this.
PHOENIX: I love both. And accordions are used in lots of Irish music and Scottish music, as well as bagpipes. So they're both equally very important to my tradition of music.
ANNA WEGGEL: Well, there you go. Awesome job. OK, Mary, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why bagpipes are just all hype. You've got 30 seconds. And go.
MARY MACK: Oh, he said it sounds like it came from heaven. Yeah, cause it sounds like it's the angel of death coming to let you know you're done for, because bagpipes only play at funerals and get-- by the way, Randy's answering a landline. He can't make enough money playing the bagpipe to get a sell plan, all right? And I can't do a lot of rebuttal because I left the room because one of my illnesses kicked in. That illness has a little bit of taste, so I had to leave the room--
ANNA WEGGEL: And--
MARY MACK: --to puke.
ANNA WEGGEL: --time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I think anyone's allowed to have a landline if you run a successful business. You would have a landline for people to call you. Also, keep in mind, he went to outer space to play the bagpipe, a place where you can do that. An you know where no one's ever played accordions?
ANNA WEGGEL: Where?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Outer space.
MARY MACK: Well, let me tell you, you're droning on and on, not unlike the instrument you're trying to defend.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Thank you for that compliment.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK, Phoenix. I want you to give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked the best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. Don't tell us, but you get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic impeccable?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Point 1, point 2. Done.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Excellent. Aron and Mary, how are you two feeling so far?
MARY MACK: I feel like Aron's flagrant misuse of sound cues really has me at a disadvantage. I did not like how he took my beautiful sounds of the accordion and perversely bent them to meet his own cause.
ANNA WEGGEL: [LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I think it's interesting that me playing accordion music is the same thing as saying bad things about accordion music, all right?
MARY MACK: No, no, no, playing accordion music in the way that you did.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes, with my-- with open ears. That's how I did it, all right?
ANNA WEGGEL: I'm open ears, open heart.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Although, I will say, I am feeling quite good. I think I'm making a very good point across. I think Phoenix is enjoying my points as well.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: Presumptuous, but OK. It's time for a quick break. Polish your keys and tune your drones--
PHOENIX: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: You're watching State of Debate, home to rage in rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: How are we doing, debaters? Taylor Lincoln here with my debater from another mother, Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hello, hello, Taylor. I just got back from the grocery store, and guess what I found, a big, old, logical fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Oh-oh, clean up on aisle nine. A logical fallacy really knocks the wind out of your debate.
TODD DOUGLAS: Sure does. And I've got a real humdinger for you today, Taytay, the bandwagon effect.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Ooh, yeah. That's when you argue something must be true just because it's popular.
TODD DOUGLAS: Like, LEGOs must be more fun than board games because all of my friends play with LEGOs.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Ooh, or cats make better pets than dogs because everyone in my class has a cat.
TODD DOUGLAS: This logical fallacy is everywhere, even the ice cream shop. Let's go.
[DING]
MILES: Hey, Kim. We just sold our 1,000th ice cream cone.
KIM: Wow, Miles. At this rate, we'll need to buy more ice cream.
MILES: You bet. But we should only get vanilla.
KIM: What? Why?
MILES: Almost everyone is buying vanilla, silly. Hardly anyone is getting chocolate, strawberry, or tutti frutti hot and moody.
KIM: But we've been selling vanilla for years and only just started selling tutti frutti hot and moody. Shouldn't we let others keep trying it?
MILES: No way. People only want vanilla.
[BUZZING]
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Hold up, that's two scoops of bad logic.
TODD DOUGLAS: I'll say, just because most people like vanilla doesn't mean Kim and Miles Should give up on all their other ice cream flavors.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: That's right. Maybe people need time to try chocolate, strawberry, or tutti frutti hot and moody like they tried vanilla. Maybe it's all a matter of time.
TODD DOUGLAS: So what exactly does tutti frutti hot and moody taste like?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Like a fruity volcano exploding in your mouth. Let's go get some.
TODD DOUGLAS: Last one there is a melted sundae. This has been--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: --State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JOY DOLO: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
[EXPLOSION]
SPEAKER 3: [PANTING] Its alien exercise hour. While I stretch my snootles and bounce on my trampoline, I'll listen to a new podcast. [LAUGHS] I'm going to try "Forever Ago," the best history podcast ever.
JOY DOLO: To understand why anyone would think a TV show could change the world, we need to go way back to America in the 1960s.
SPEAKER 4: Rock and roll was pretty new.
JOY DOLO: Ford released the iconic Mustang muscle car.
SPEAKER 3: Stop come back here, podcast. Must listen to "Forever Ago" now.
[EXPLOSION]
JOY DOLO: Listen to "Forever Ago" wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 5: Smash Boom Best.
ANNA WEGGEL: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Anna Weggel, filling in for Molly Bloom.
PHOENIX: And I'm your judge, Phoenix.
ANNA WEGGEL: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this Pokemon debate idea from Eli.
ELI: My name is Eli, and my debate idea is Pikachu versus Eevee.
ANNA WEGGEL: Pikachu versus Eevee? What a playful debate. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side thinks Eli thinks should win.
PHOENIX: And now it's back to our debate, accordians versus as bagpipes.
ANNA WEGGEL: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Micro Round.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Mary and Aron, the prompt was international holiday. We asked you to imagine that there's an international holiday devoted to your side. What's it called? What are the traditions, lore, and decorations associated with this special day? Tell us everything there is to know. Mary went first last time. So, Aron, you're up. Tell us all about your bagpipe-themed holiday.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hello. And Mary Interrupting Bagpipes Day, the only day of the year when people are encouraged to randomly interrupt each other with bagpipes. It just couldn't be sillier. Ma'am, have you been interrupted by bagpipes yet?
SPEAKER 5: Not yet. I was just telling my sister that--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING] Oh, you got me.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: See, people love Interrupting Bagpipes Day. And speaking of love--
SPEAKER 6: Helga, my love, you're the greatest part of my life. Will you marry--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
[LAUGHS] Thank you so much for the gorgeous music. You've made this special moment even more magical.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, he seemed so in love, with those bagpipes. Hey, speaking of bagpipes, let's check out the unveiling of the city's latest music store, Bagpipes Universe.
SPEAKER 7: In honor of today's historic holiday, I'm proud to announce that my bagpipe store is now open for business--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Ooh, [LAUGHS] how dare you interrupt me with your accordion? Do you know how rude that is? This is a place of business, not some two bit pirate ship. I have half a mind to take that accordion and--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Oh. Oh my goodness, it's bagpipes. Ooh! I thought someone was trying to interrupt me with an accordion. Ugh! Everyone, come into my store so we may join in the festivities.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, what a day. I'm so glad you took some time to learn about my favorite holiday Interna--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow. I'm looking around the room to see if there's a bagpipe that's about to interrupt me. Mary, it is now your turn. Tell us about your accordion-themed holiday.
MARY MACK: Welcome one and all. I, Princess Accordion, am pleased as a pickle to announce the signing of the accordion accords here in Pelonia signifying that anytime you play or hear an accordion, it constitutes a holiday day.
[CHEERING]
You've heard of the Magna Carta? Well, this is Magna top of the chartas. Anyway, big celebration and sausage buffet at my place today to celebrate the signing of the accordion accords. No one has to go to bed because we'll be dancing all night and have no fear. I've sent the party police out to patrol the United Kingdom. They have strict orders to tickle any bagpiper ruffians they see. So they aren't so serious all the time.
SPEAKER 8: They can't steal our riz. Crank up the jams.
MARY MACK: Love the enthusiasm. But hold up. We've got to get the royal quill and frill and officially signed for real.
[CHEERING]
I officially declare according to the accordion accords, anytime a single note emanates from a squeezebox box, all within earshot shall be in a state of holiday. Good moods shall abound. Furthermore, while listening or playing accordion music, no person shall be required to go to work or school for tis a holiday simply upon the hearing. All honor the accordion accords.
ALL: All honor the accordion Accords.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ah, Princess Accordiona. What a breathy, little sweetie.
[LAUGHTER]
OK, Phoenix, what did you like about Mary and Aron's micro rounds?
PHOENIX: Mary's micro round is economically going to destroy itself.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no. [LAUGHS]
PHOENIX: Because if everybody goes on holidays when they hear an accordion, people will stop working and there won't be money enough to make more accordions.
MARY MACK: Princess Accordiona checking in here.
ANNA WEGGEL: She's here.
MARY MACK: Just want to let you know here in Pelonia, we've devalued money. Nobody really has to work. It is an overabundant society, and we do not need to check in and out or clock in and out of any workplace.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, I would like to live there. Sounds nice. And what did you think about Aron's micro round?
PHOENIX: Absolute glorious chaos. Go, you.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Right on.
ANNA WEGGEL: Accurate.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Although, can I just say?
ANNA WEGGEL: Yeah.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mary, like, you-- you have no way of knowing this, but Bagpipe Ruffians is actually the name of my biker gang.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you so much for the shout out.
ANNA WEGGEL: What are the odds? Wow.
MARY MACK: I don't know what kind of mind games or brain puzzles Aron is playing, but I'm already voting for the bagpipes, and I can't stand the bagpipes.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh. We really don't know what's going to happen until we know. So, Phoenix, it's time to award a point, but don't tell us who you're voting for.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Point awarded.
[DING]
Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Sneak Attack.
ANNA WEGGEL: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called joke book. You two are both comedians, so we thought you could handle one of our toughest sneak attacks. We want you to think of three brand new, short, kid jokes related to your side along the lines of, guess what, chicken butt, or, why did the chicken cross the road, et cetera, themed on your side. Debaters, are you ready for your sneak attack?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
MARY MACK: Maybe.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
MARY MACK: Yeah.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
MARY MACK: Yeah. Yeah
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. Let's do this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we're going to make this happen. This is going to be great.
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow, Oh, the enthusiasm.
PHOENIX: You're filling me with confidence.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
ANNA WEGGEL: Me too. OK. We'll start with Mary. Let's hear your first accordion-inspired joke.
MARY MACK: Why did the bagpiper have to take lactose pills when he was around the accordion?
ANNA WEGGEL: Why?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Why?
MARY MACK: Cause he's allergic to squeeze.
ANNA WEGGEL: [LAUGHS]
MARY MACK: What?
ANNA WEGGEL: Like cheese? I love it. I get it
MARY MACK: I confused myself.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: No, I like it. I like this a lot.
PHOENIX: No.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: That is a straight no from. OK.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Now, Aron, it is your turn. Let's hear your first bagpipe-inspired joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Bagpipes walk into a coffee shop. The barista goes, hey, how's your music competition going? To which the bagpipes go, it's in the bag.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, I liked that a lot. OK. Mary, let's hear your second joke.
MARY MACK: OK. Why did the monster choose to eat an accordion when it could-- it had a choice between accordion and bagpipes?
ANNA WEGGEL: Why?
MARY MACK: Because bagpipes taste like disgusting, gross, rotten, fermented leather, sunken down under the ocean and brought back up and just stomped on by a bunch of sweaty footed, expired grape crushers. And so that's why he chose to eat the accordion, because that's what bagpipes are.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I will forfeit this entire competition if you can repeat everything you just said.
[LAUGHTER]
MARY MACK: No, I can't.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Ooh.
MARY MACK: Ooh, that was a long one.
ANNA WEGGEL: Aron, it is time for your second joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK. Two bagpipers are arguing. The first bagpiper gives him an insult, the other goes. [SCREAMS] you're all full of hot air.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, great.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: There it is.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
MARY MACK: Pretty good.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's a thinker.
MARY MACK: That's pretty good.
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary, let's hear your third and final joke.
MARY MACK: OK. I have to have you assist me on this--
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Great
MARY MACK: --because it's a knock knock joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
MARY MACK: OK? OK. Knock, knock.
ANNA WEGGEL: Who's there?
MARY MACK: Bagpipe.
ANNA WEGGEL: Bagpipe--
[VOCALIZING]
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Yap. Yap. Yap.
MARY MACK: Sorry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Really good.
MARY MACK: [LAUGHS] I couldn't hear you, because that bagpiper came in here and ruined the show.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Must be that holiday.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: I guess it is, after all. OK, Aron, let's hear your final joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I just want to point out that Mary literally Stole my joke.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I was going to do that exact bit.
ANNA WEGGEL: Now, what are you going to do?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I'm going to play it off. I'm going to improvise this.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Great.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. So oh, OK. Two Scotsmen--
[LAUGHTER]
--who live in Scotland,
ANNA WEGGEL: Aha, right.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: --are arguing about the best place to get real estate.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Kids love jokes about real estate.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Already, I'm leading the way. One goes, what's the best place to get real estate in Scotland? The second goes, the place full of bagpipes. To which the first goes, oh, the great highlands.
MARY MACK: [LAUGHS]
PHOENIX: Wait, what?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah, I'm so sorry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Did that land the way you wanted it to?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: No.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
[LAUGHTER]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Well, I'll say, you know what, it's better to bomb with bagpipes than it is to succeed with accordions.
MARY MACK: Oh my gosh. No. That is wonderful sentiment right there. I can't really argue on that.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix, I do not envy you, but you need to think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point. But don't tell us who you're giving it to.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Yep.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: The Final Six.
ANNA WEGGEL: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. OK, Aron, let's hear your six words that prove bagpipes are the best.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Bagpipes, we'll blow you away, friend.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK, Mary, it's your turn. Give us your six words of accolades for accordions.
MARY MACK: Accordions promote Joy and world peace.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's time to award a point for the Final Six.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Phoenix, have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Yes, indeed.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
PHOENIX: Yep.
ANNA WEGGEL: Drumroll, please. And the winner is--
PHOENIX: Bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Bing, bing, bing!
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow.
[LAUGHTER]
PHOENIX: So, Phoenix, was there a moment that decided things for you?
PHOENIX: So Mary won the Declaration of Greatness. Aron won the rebuttal. Aron won the second round. Mary won the third round. So it was the last round. And I thought that the pun was better than the world peace.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ooh, and what a name writer.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh my god, it was so--
ANNA WEGGEL: Six words.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Close.
ANNA WEGGEL: I have goosebumps,
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mary, can I say, your declaration of greatness and your mic around were so good. Like, just the sound design and all the different variations of accordion music, from jazz to polka to French jazz. That was amazing. I learned so much. I didn't know how much accordion music there was out there. You did such a great job.
MARY MACK: Oh, well, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better because I was quite sad from losing--
[LAUGHTER]
--the debate. I love, as a performer, how you came right out of the gate, came out fighting, especially with the rebuttal round. I loved your confidence in bringing in all these characters to highlight the questionable attributes of the bagpipes. I mean, you got me to vote for you.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Thank you so much.
ANNA WEGGEL: So you're a genuine sales person.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Honestly, if I couldn't do this, I would be a bagpipe salesperson.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, wow.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah, absolutely.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's on the back burner, just in case.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. It's my fallback.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: And that's it for today's debate. Phoenix crowned bagpipes the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Go to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
ANNA WEGGEL: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Anna Weggel--
MOLLY BLOOM: --Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: --Aron Woldeslassie.
ANNA WEGGEL: We had engineering help from Jean Baron with sound design by--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Anna Weggel.
ANNA WEGGEL: Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: --Shahla Farzan--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: --Sanden Totten.
ANNA WEGGEL: With fact checking by--
ANNA GOLDFIELD: --Anna Goldfield--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
REBECCA RAND: --Rebecca Rand.
ANNA WEGGEL: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On Universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
NICO GONZALEZ WHISTLER: Nico Gonzalez Whistler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMBERT: Lauren Humbert.
JOSHUA WRIGHT: Joshua Wright.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
ANNA WEGGEL: And--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: --Charlotte Traver.
ANNA WEGGEL: And our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, and Andy Doucette. Mary, is there anyone that you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MARY MACK: Oh, I want to thank Phoenix for tuning in all the way from New Zealand. And thanks to all the Smash Boom Best listeners. Super fun people. I got some nice emails from some people listening to the last one I did, and it meant a lot.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I love that.
ANNA WEGGEL: So nice. They found you.
MARY MACK: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: How about you, Aron? Any special shout outs for you?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I want to thank the great nation of Scotland. Thank you so much for your incredible culture and heritage. And speaking of which, I want to give a very special thanks to the incredible Euan Kerr, who has recently retired after giving us 40 incredible years. Thank you so much, Euan.
MARY MACK: Yay, Euan.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You are a champion of Public Radio. And I also want to make a special shout out to the Bagpipe Ruffians. Fellas--
[LAUGHTER] --you know who you are. You're doing great stuff out there. Thank you so much.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix, do you want to give any special thanks?
PHOENIX: Thanks to all the accordionists and bagpipers and people who are musicians. You make the world go around.
MARY MACK: Yeah, that's true.
ANNA WEGGEL: Before we go, let's check in and see who Eli thinks should win the Pikachu versus Eevee debate.
ELI: I personally think Eevee should win, because Eevee is stronger than Pikachu.
ANNA WEGGEL: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a like. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle next week, Jelly beans versus beans.
[LAUGHTER]
That's awesome. Bye.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Tata.
MARY MACK: Bonne nuit.
SPEAKER 9: Bye.
[THEME MUSIC] (SINGING) Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, pushing through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, but I've had no rest
It's Smash Boom Best
It's Smash Boom Best
MARY MACK: [QUACKING] Oh, am I being attacked by ducks? Oh, no. That was just a bagpipe.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You know what's a surefire way to get attacked by ducks? Play them the accordion. That's how you'll know.
[LAUGHTER]
PHOENIX: The show for people with big opinions.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Hi. I'm Anna Weggel, filling in for Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, Smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a majestic musical showdown. It's accordions versus bagpipes. We've got comedian, voice actor, and writer Mary Mack ready to sing the praises of the squeezebox for team accordions.
MARY MACK: Accordion for the win. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The crowd goes wild.
[VOCALIZING]
ANNA WEGGEL: And Brains On Producer Aron Woldeslassie is here to try to snag a win for the windy warbler, team bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, Anna boy, the pipes, the pipes are winning.
ANNA WEGGEL: How did you know my nickname, Anna boy?
[LAUGHTER]
And here to judge it all is Phoenix from Auckland, New Zealand. Loves Dungeons and Dragons, eating any kind of soup, and playing the whistle. Hi, Phoenix.
PHOENIX: Hi.
ANNA WEGGEL: So, Phoenix, can you tell us, because maybe not everyone knows, what being a whistleblower player means?
PHOENIX: So a whistle is essentially an Irish tin whistle. So it's a metal whistle. It looks quite a lot like a recorder. It's better. And you play a lot of jigs and reels on it. And I probably am a bit more biased towards bagpipes, because instruments that you blow with your mouth and all that.
ANNA WEGGEL: What's your favorite song to play on the whistle, please?
PHOENIX: I like playing the SpongeBob theme. It's very fast and quite hard.
ANNA WEGGEL: What is your DND character like?
PHOENIX: My DND character is a changeling cleric with the biggest not-my-problem attitude that you'll ever find.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ooh, I love that. Does that have certain aspects that your own personality has?
PHOENIX: Probably leaning into a lot of the darker aspects of human-- the human condition mostly.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh my gosh. Why aren't we playing DND right now?
[LAUGHTER]
What are we doing.? Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
PHOENIX: Play fair.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
ANNA WEGGEL: Important.
MARY MACK: Check.
ANNA WEGGEL: Will Phoenix side with Mary or Aron? Only time will tell. But first--
PHOENIX: Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program.
ANNA WEGGEL: That's right, Phoenix, which means we rely on support from our listeners to keep the show going. There are lots of ways you can support the show.
PHOENIX: You can donate, become a smartpath subscriber or buy our merch.
ANNA WEGGEL: Like a Smash Boom Best hoodie, pencil pouch, or keychain?
PHOENIX: Head to smashboom.org to show your support, and thanks.
ANNA WEGGEL: Now on to the rules. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our judge, Phoenix, will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK. Mary, Aron, and Phoenix, are you ready?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Let's do this.
MARY MACK: Mhm.
PHOENIX: I'm ready as I'll ever be.
ANNA WEGGEL: Then it's time for the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Declaration of Greatness.
ANNA WEGGEL: In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and. Mary, you're up first. Tell us all about the allure of the accordion.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary. Hey, Mary, it's your Smash Boom Best producer Anna Weggel here. Can you please stop dancing?
MARY MACK: Sorry, Anna, can't stop. I'm having too much fun with this accordion-based music. Yeah. Woohoo.
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary. You're contractually obligated to speak about the accordion's greatness.
MARY MACK: OK. Yeah, I'm getting winded anyways. Right there, listeners, you just heard some of the accordion's greatness, and that it is a major party starter. It first became really popular in the early 1800s when polka music, like you just heard, was all the rage in Europe, because those people knew how to party.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary.
MARY MACK: Oh, sorry. I can't help myself. It's so fun. Accordions have some stellar nicknames too like button box, windjammer, or stomach steinway. Makes you smile, doesn't it? Another nickname, squeezebox, came about because in order to make sound, the musician squeezes the accordion sides to enable its bellows to force air through thin pieces inside, called reeds. Then you use the keys and buttons along each side to turn that air into music.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
The accordion is basically a party in a box. Plus, you can easily sing while playing it. When people play the bagpipes, however, it looks like a giant squid is hanging out of their mouths attacking them. The accordion though, the only thing attacking you are all your fans. Accordions are popular all over the world and in all kinds of music, from fast-paced zydeco in Louisiana--
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
--to Jewish klezmer--
[KLEZMER PLAYING]
--or even swanky, French café jazz.
[JAZZ PLAYING]
Can you imagine trying to sip an espresso in a quaint Parisian cafe listening to the bagpipe?
[BAGPIPE BLOWS]
[SCREAMS] You snuck up on me. Who are you?
LARRY: I'm Larry. I've had 20 years of bagpipe lessons, and that's how good I sound.
MARY MACK: Oh, no. What a waste of money.
LARRY: Wow I can't believe they let me in the studio here. Normally, they force us bagpipers to play outdoors.
MARY MACK: That's right. Larry out you go. Scoot, scoot, scoot. Which brings me to my next point. We mostly listen to the bagpipes outdoors like at poorly attended parades. They're so awful to listen to, people won't even let them inside.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Go away, Larry. With the accordion though, you not only get to come inside. But if you're good enough, you can become a celebrity, like Weird Al Yankovic.
LARRY: Hey, what about all the celebrity bagpipers, like--
MARY MACK: That's right, Larry. There aren't any. I hope the door is still locked. Not only is the accordion beautiful to hear, but it's beautiful to look at too. They come in all shapes and sizes and colors. Some are red or blue or pearlescent. Some are bedazzled with gemstones. Some even have multicolored bellows. A bagpipe, on the other hand, is like a sad, deflated balloon, or maybe a pruned up piece of roadkill with Spears sticking out. Who wants to look at roadkill? Bagpipes don't look great, and they don't sound great.
In the early days of Scotland, bagpipes were used to call soldiers into battle. Maybe because they sounded so terrible, they could scare the enemy away.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
LARRY: No. Anything but bagpipes.
MARY MACK: You ever hear of braveheart, the movie about a fictional Scottish warrior? He probably got that name because he was brave enough to listen to the bagpipe every day and still not quit. The accordion does the opposite of calling folks into battle. It makes people feel good, like they're part of a festive community. It inspires Joy.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
One could even say accordions help create world peace. Come on, Larry, let's dance.
LARRY: No one's ever loved me before.
MARY MACK: I know Larry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Aw. Larry finally found love. What a happy ending.
PHOENIX: Aw.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix What stood out to you about Mary's declaration of greatness?
PHOENIX: It was engaging. And at least you showed examples of the music.
ANNA WEGGEL: Very true. Very true. OK. Aron, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the accordion is just cumbersome? You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: So just off the bat, did you notice that the accordion music hijacks the body and forces you to void contracts? That's how our declaration started, all right? And like, did you-- do you know how to make an accordion play on pitch? You throw it on the ground and hope it lands on a bagpipe. That's how you do that, all right? Who plays the accordion? Pirate monkeys. Not hard working, civilian monkeys, but pirate ones. All right? You got to be a criminal to play this thing. Also, did you know--
MARY MACK: Those are concertinas.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Did you know accordions are super heavy? It's interesting you didn't mention that. They're 10 kilos. 20 pounds. They're so heavy. Are you playing an instrument or getting a workout?
ANNA WEGGEL: And time?
MARY MACK: Listen, at least somebody was brave enough to throw an accordion onto a big pipe and smoosh it. That's all I got to say--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: That's the only thing it's good for, throwing it away. That's what people want to be doing, right?
MARY MACK: Of the two most least desirable instruments in the universe, I'd say the accordion is slightly more desirable than the bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's not even an instrument. It's a shoddy shot put. That's what it is, all rigth? It's heavy, and you want to throw it away.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's your turn, Aron. Tell us why bagpipes should blow us away.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Oh, hey there. Name's Rudy Piper. I'm the best darn bagpiper in town. I love playing the bagpipes. They're versatile, remarkable, and tons of fun. But there is one problem with being a bagpiper.
[PHONE RINGING]
RUDY PIPER: Hello.
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You want me to play a wedding?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Sure, as long as I get a slice of cake. [LAUGHS] Anyway, as I was saying--
[PHONE RINGING]
Oops, sorry. Hello.
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You need me to play at a battlefield?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Well, OK, but you need to provide the kilt. [LAUGHS] What I was trying to say was that people always want to hear bagpipes. So you never know when--
[PHONE RINGING]
Oh, come on. Hello?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: You need me to play at the International Space Station, a very real place where people have played bagpipes?
SPEAKER 1: [GIBBERISH]
RUDY PIPER: Fine. But you're driving.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, Rudy sure is busy. But that's the life of a bagpiper. You might think of bagpipes as a Scottish instrument, but people have been playing them all over the world for centuries.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Welcome to the International Bagpipe Association. When I say the name of your bagpipes, please play them. The ney-anban from Iran.
[NAY-ANBAN PLAYING]
The torupill from Estonia.
[TORUPILL PLAYING]
And this just says Lenny?
LENNY: Hi. I'm Lenny, and I play the accordion.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh, wow, that's so interesting. Security? Yeah, an accordion could never substitute for the bagpipes. Sure, bagpipes have a truly unique sound, but how they make sound is even more amazing. A bagpiper blows through a long tube to blow up the bag like a balloon. When they squeeze the bag, it forces the air out through other pipes. And that makes the music. Even though the instrument looks like it came from space, it sounds like it came from heaven.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Bagpipes inspired deep appreciation all over the world, but especially in Scotland. Don't take my word for it, though. Here's Scotsman and Smash Boom Best fan Euan Kerr talking about bagpipes.
EUAN KERR: I mean, they were just always there. Growing up in Scotland, it's just part of the national identity. You hear pipe music fairly regularly. I suppose for a long time, my favorite song when I was very young was "Scotland The Brave," which is played on bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Ah, "Scotland The Brave." You've probably heard it before.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Of course it's played on bagpipes. Can you imagine it played on some lesser instrument. Oh, wait, you don't have to. Let me show you.
[ACCORDION PLAYING]
Yuck! Sounds like something you'd hear on the poop deck of a pirate ship. And since I don't want scurvy, I won't be looking to hear any of it.
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Unlike the accordion, bagpipes are really good at conveying intense emotions. The notes are powerful and continuous, which makes them great for sad dirges or raucous anthems. No matter the genre, bagpipes give music extra oomph.
[GUITAR PLAYS]
SPEAKER 2: Ah, our metal band needs something super hardcore.
RUDY PIPER: Bongos?
SPEAKER 2: Bongos? More like bong knows.
RUDY PIPER: What about an accordion?
SPEAKER 2: Accordion? Oh, this isn't the Polka Pizza Palace. It's a metal band.
RUDY PIPER: Well, how about this?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SPEAKER 2: Oh, dude, that totally rocks.
[GUITAR PLAYS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It does totally rock. Tons of bands have used the bagpipes in their music, including icons like Paul McCartney, AC/DC, and of course, the Red Hot Chili Pipers.
RUDY PIPER: Whoa, did you say the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Great question, Rudy Piper. I said the Red Hot Chili Pipers, the triple platinum Scottish band that's been making awesome bagpipe music for decades. Like this. Hit it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Now that's what I call rock and roll. And that's the power of bagpipes. Bagpipes are great for any occasion. They're played all over the world, and they'll knock your socks off. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get Rudy to outer space for his next bagpiping gig. Let's go, bud.
[BOOM]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow. I feel like Rudy Piper and Larry the accordion player should meet.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I mean, yeah. I think Rudy would be happy to sign an autograph if that's what you're trying to do.
ANNA WEGGEL: And Larry just wants love.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah
ANNA WEGGEL: So, Phoenix, what did you think about Aron's declaration of greatness? Did any moments in his argument really stand out?
PHOENIX: You missed one key point. John Farnham also uses bagpipes in his music.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: That's right.
MARY MACK: This contest is skewed. It is biased from the beginning.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix is a very fair judge. She can handle this.
PHOENIX: I love both. And accordions are used in lots of Irish music and Scottish music, as well as bagpipes. So they're both equally very important to my tradition of music.
ANNA WEGGEL: Well, there you go. Awesome job. OK, Mary, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why bagpipes are just all hype. You've got 30 seconds. And go.
MARY MACK: Oh, he said it sounds like it came from heaven. Yeah, cause it sounds like it's the angel of death coming to let you know you're done for, because bagpipes only play at funerals and get-- by the way, Randy's answering a landline. He can't make enough money playing the bagpipe to get a sell plan, all right? And I can't do a lot of rebuttal because I left the room because one of my illnesses kicked in. That illness has a little bit of taste, so I had to leave the room--
ANNA WEGGEL: And--
MARY MACK: --to puke.
ANNA WEGGEL: --time.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I think anyone's allowed to have a landline if you run a successful business. You would have a landline for people to call you. Also, keep in mind, he went to outer space to play the bagpipe, a place where you can do that. An you know where no one's ever played accordions?
ANNA WEGGEL: Where?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Outer space.
MARY MACK: Well, let me tell you, you're droning on and on, not unlike the instrument you're trying to defend.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Thank you for that compliment.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK, Phoenix. I want you to give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked the best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. Don't tell us, but you get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic impeccable?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Point 1, point 2. Done.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Excellent. Aron and Mary, how are you two feeling so far?
MARY MACK: I feel like Aron's flagrant misuse of sound cues really has me at a disadvantage. I did not like how he took my beautiful sounds of the accordion and perversely bent them to meet his own cause.
ANNA WEGGEL: [LAUGHS]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I think it's interesting that me playing accordion music is the same thing as saying bad things about accordion music, all right?
MARY MACK: No, no, no, playing accordion music in the way that you did.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes, with my-- with open ears. That's how I did it, all right?
ANNA WEGGEL: I'm open ears, open heart.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Although, I will say, I am feeling quite good. I think I'm making a very good point across. I think Phoenix is enjoying my points as well.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: Presumptuous, but OK. It's time for a quick break. Polish your keys and tune your drones--
PHOENIX: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: You're watching State of Debate, home to rage in rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: How are we doing, debaters? Taylor Lincoln here with my debater from another mother, Todd Douglas.
TODD DOUGLAS: Hello, hello, Taylor. I just got back from the grocery store, and guess what I found, a big, old, logical fallacy.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Oh-oh, clean up on aisle nine. A logical fallacy really knocks the wind out of your debate.
TODD DOUGLAS: Sure does. And I've got a real humdinger for you today, Taytay, the bandwagon effect.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Ooh, yeah. That's when you argue something must be true just because it's popular.
TODD DOUGLAS: Like, LEGOs must be more fun than board games because all of my friends play with LEGOs.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Ooh, or cats make better pets than dogs because everyone in my class has a cat.
TODD DOUGLAS: This logical fallacy is everywhere, even the ice cream shop. Let's go.
[DING]
MILES: Hey, Kim. We just sold our 1,000th ice cream cone.
KIM: Wow, Miles. At this rate, we'll need to buy more ice cream.
MILES: You bet. But we should only get vanilla.
KIM: What? Why?
MILES: Almost everyone is buying vanilla, silly. Hardly anyone is getting chocolate, strawberry, or tutti frutti hot and moody.
KIM: But we've been selling vanilla for years and only just started selling tutti frutti hot and moody. Shouldn't we let others keep trying it?
MILES: No way. People only want vanilla.
[BUZZING]
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Hold up, that's two scoops of bad logic.
TODD DOUGLAS: I'll say, just because most people like vanilla doesn't mean Kim and Miles Should give up on all their other ice cream flavors.
TAYLOR LINCOLN: That's right. Maybe people need time to try chocolate, strawberry, or tutti frutti hot and moody like they tried vanilla. Maybe it's all a matter of time.
TODD DOUGLAS: So what exactly does tutti frutti hot and moody taste like?
TAYLOR LINCOLN: Like a fruity volcano exploding in your mouth. Let's go get some.
TODD DOUGLAS: Last one there is a melted sundae. This has been--
TAYLOR LINCOLN: --State of Debate.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JOY DOLO: Brains On universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.
[EXPLOSION]
SPEAKER 3: [PANTING] Its alien exercise hour. While I stretch my snootles and bounce on my trampoline, I'll listen to a new podcast. [LAUGHS] I'm going to try "Forever Ago," the best history podcast ever.
JOY DOLO: To understand why anyone would think a TV show could change the world, we need to go way back to America in the 1960s.
SPEAKER 4: Rock and roll was pretty new.
JOY DOLO: Ford released the iconic Mustang muscle car.
SPEAKER 3: Stop come back here, podcast. Must listen to "Forever Ago" now.
[EXPLOSION]
JOY DOLO: Listen to "Forever Ago" wherever you get your podcasts.
SPEAKER 5: Smash Boom Best.
ANNA WEGGEL: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Anna Weggel, filling in for Molly Bloom.
PHOENIX: And I'm your judge, Phoenix.
ANNA WEGGEL: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this Pokemon debate idea from Eli.
ELI: My name is Eli, and my debate idea is Pikachu versus Eevee.
ANNA WEGGEL: Pikachu versus Eevee? What a playful debate. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side thinks Eli thinks should win.
PHOENIX: And now it's back to our debate, accordians versus as bagpipes.
ANNA WEGGEL: That's right. And it's time for round two, the--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Micro Round.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Mary and Aron, the prompt was international holiday. We asked you to imagine that there's an international holiday devoted to your side. What's it called? What are the traditions, lore, and decorations associated with this special day? Tell us everything there is to know. Mary went first last time. So, Aron, you're up. Tell us all about your bagpipe-themed holiday.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Hello. And Mary Interrupting Bagpipes Day, the only day of the year when people are encouraged to randomly interrupt each other with bagpipes. It just couldn't be sillier. Ma'am, have you been interrupted by bagpipes yet?
SPEAKER 5: Not yet. I was just telling my sister that--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING] Oh, you got me.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: See, people love Interrupting Bagpipes Day. And speaking of love--
SPEAKER 6: Helga, my love, you're the greatest part of my life. Will you marry--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
[LAUGHS] Thank you so much for the gorgeous music. You've made this special moment even more magical.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, he seemed so in love, with those bagpipes. Hey, speaking of bagpipes, let's check out the unveiling of the city's latest music store, Bagpipes Universe.
SPEAKER 7: In honor of today's historic holiday, I'm proud to announce that my bagpipe store is now open for business--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Ooh, [LAUGHS] how dare you interrupt me with your accordion? Do you know how rude that is? This is a place of business, not some two bit pirate ship. I have half a mind to take that accordion and--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
Oh. Oh my goodness, it's bagpipes. Ooh! I thought someone was trying to interrupt me with an accordion. Ugh! Everyone, come into my store so we may join in the festivities.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Wow, what a day. I'm so glad you took some time to learn about my favorite holiday Interna--
[BAGPIPE PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow. I'm looking around the room to see if there's a bagpipe that's about to interrupt me. Mary, it is now your turn. Tell us about your accordion-themed holiday.
MARY MACK: Welcome one and all. I, Princess Accordion, am pleased as a pickle to announce the signing of the accordion accords here in Pelonia signifying that anytime you play or hear an accordion, it constitutes a holiday day.
[CHEERING]
You've heard of the Magna Carta? Well, this is Magna top of the chartas. Anyway, big celebration and sausage buffet at my place today to celebrate the signing of the accordion accords. No one has to go to bed because we'll be dancing all night and have no fear. I've sent the party police out to patrol the United Kingdom. They have strict orders to tickle any bagpiper ruffians they see. So they aren't so serious all the time.
SPEAKER 8: They can't steal our riz. Crank up the jams.
MARY MACK: Love the enthusiasm. But hold up. We've got to get the royal quill and frill and officially signed for real.
[CHEERING]
I officially declare according to the accordion accords, anytime a single note emanates from a squeezebox box, all within earshot shall be in a state of holiday. Good moods shall abound. Furthermore, while listening or playing accordion music, no person shall be required to go to work or school for tis a holiday simply upon the hearing. All honor the accordion accords.
ALL: All honor the accordion Accords.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ah, Princess Accordiona. What a breathy, little sweetie.
[LAUGHTER]
OK, Phoenix, what did you like about Mary and Aron's micro rounds?
PHOENIX: Mary's micro round is economically going to destroy itself.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no. [LAUGHS]
PHOENIX: Because if everybody goes on holidays when they hear an accordion, people will stop working and there won't be money enough to make more accordions.
MARY MACK: Princess Accordiona checking in here.
ANNA WEGGEL: She's here.
MARY MACK: Just want to let you know here in Pelonia, we've devalued money. Nobody really has to work. It is an overabundant society, and we do not need to check in and out or clock in and out of any workplace.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, I would like to live there. Sounds nice. And what did you think about Aron's micro round?
PHOENIX: Absolute glorious chaos. Go, you.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Right on.
ANNA WEGGEL: Accurate.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Although, can I just say?
ANNA WEGGEL: Yeah.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mary, like, you-- you have no way of knowing this, but Bagpipe Ruffians is actually the name of my biker gang.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you so much for the shout out.
ANNA WEGGEL: What are the odds? Wow.
MARY MACK: I don't know what kind of mind games or brain puzzles Aron is playing, but I'm already voting for the bagpipes, and I can't stand the bagpipes.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh. We really don't know what's going to happen until we know. So, Phoenix, it's time to award a point, but don't tell us who you're voting for.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Point awarded.
[DING]
Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Sneak Attack.
ANNA WEGGEL: This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called joke book. You two are both comedians, so we thought you could handle one of our toughest sneak attacks. We want you to think of three brand new, short, kid jokes related to your side along the lines of, guess what, chicken butt, or, why did the chicken cross the road, et cetera, themed on your side. Debaters, are you ready for your sneak attack?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
MARY MACK: Maybe.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
MARY MACK: Yeah.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
MARY MACK: Yeah. Yeah
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. Let's do this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we're going to make this happen. This is going to be great.
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow, Oh, the enthusiasm.
PHOENIX: You're filling me with confidence.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
ANNA WEGGEL: Me too. OK. We'll start with Mary. Let's hear your first accordion-inspired joke.
MARY MACK: Why did the bagpiper have to take lactose pills when he was around the accordion?
ANNA WEGGEL: Why?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Why?
MARY MACK: Cause he's allergic to squeeze.
ANNA WEGGEL: [LAUGHS]
MARY MACK: What?
ANNA WEGGEL: Like cheese? I love it. I get it
MARY MACK: I confused myself.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: No, I like it. I like this a lot.
PHOENIX: No.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: That is a straight no from. OK.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Now, Aron, it is your turn. Let's hear your first bagpipe-inspired joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Bagpipes walk into a coffee shop. The barista goes, hey, how's your music competition going? To which the bagpipes go, it's in the bag.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, I liked that a lot. OK. Mary, let's hear your second joke.
MARY MACK: OK. Why did the monster choose to eat an accordion when it could-- it had a choice between accordion and bagpipes?
ANNA WEGGEL: Why?
MARY MACK: Because bagpipes taste like disgusting, gross, rotten, fermented leather, sunken down under the ocean and brought back up and just stomped on by a bunch of sweaty footed, expired grape crushers. And so that's why he chose to eat the accordion, because that's what bagpipes are.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I will forfeit this entire competition if you can repeat everything you just said.
[LAUGHTER]
MARY MACK: No, I can't.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Ooh.
MARY MACK: Ooh, that was a long one.
ANNA WEGGEL: Aron, it is time for your second joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK. Two bagpipers are arguing. The first bagpiper gives him an insult, the other goes. [SCREAMS] you're all full of hot air.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, great.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: There it is.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
MARY MACK: Pretty good.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: It's a thinker.
MARY MACK: That's pretty good.
ANNA WEGGEL: Mary, let's hear your third and final joke.
MARY MACK: OK. I have to have you assist me on this--
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Great
MARY MACK: --because it's a knock knock joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: OK.
MARY MACK: OK? OK. Knock, knock.
ANNA WEGGEL: Who's there?
MARY MACK: Bagpipe.
ANNA WEGGEL: Bagpipe--
[VOCALIZING]
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Yap. Yap. Yap.
MARY MACK: Sorry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Really good.
MARY MACK: [LAUGHS] I couldn't hear you, because that bagpiper came in here and ruined the show.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Must be that holiday.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: I guess it is, after all. OK, Aron, let's hear your final joke.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I just want to point out that Mary literally Stole my joke.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, no.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I was going to do that exact bit.
ANNA WEGGEL: Now, what are you going to do?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I'm going to play it off. I'm going to improvise this.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. Great.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. So oh, OK. Two Scotsmen--
[LAUGHTER]
--who live in Scotland,
ANNA WEGGEL: Aha, right.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: --are arguing about the best place to get real estate.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Kids love jokes about real estate.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Already, I'm leading the way. One goes, what's the best place to get real estate in Scotland? The second goes, the place full of bagpipes. To which the first goes, oh, the great highlands.
MARY MACK: [LAUGHS]
PHOENIX: Wait, what?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah, I'm so sorry.
ANNA WEGGEL: Did that land the way you wanted it to?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: No.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK.
[LAUGHTER]
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Well, I'll say, you know what, it's better to bomb with bagpipes than it is to succeed with accordions.
MARY MACK: Oh my gosh. No. That is wonderful sentiment right there. I can't really argue on that.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix, I do not envy you, but you need to think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point. But don't tell us who you're giving it to.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Yep.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: The Final Six.
ANNA WEGGEL: In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. OK, Aron, let's hear your six words that prove bagpipes are the best.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Bagpipes, we'll blow you away, friend.
[LAUGHTER]
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK, Mary, it's your turn. Give us your six words of accolades for accordions.
MARY MACK: Accordions promote Joy and world peace.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's time to award a point for the Final Six.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Phoenix, have you made your decision?
PHOENIX: Yes, indeed.
[DING]
ANNA WEGGEL: Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?
PHOENIX: Yep.
ANNA WEGGEL: Drumroll, please. And the winner is--
PHOENIX: Bagpipes.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Bing, bing, bing!
ANNA WEGGEL: Wow.
[LAUGHTER]
PHOENIX: So, Phoenix, was there a moment that decided things for you?
PHOENIX: So Mary won the Declaration of Greatness. Aron won the rebuttal. Aron won the second round. Mary won the third round. So it was the last round. And I thought that the pun was better than the world peace.
ANNA WEGGEL: Ooh, and what a name writer.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Oh my god, it was so--
ANNA WEGGEL: Six words.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Close.
ANNA WEGGEL: I have goosebumps,
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Mary, can I say, your declaration of greatness and your mic around were so good. Like, just the sound design and all the different variations of accordion music, from jazz to polka to French jazz. That was amazing. I learned so much. I didn't know how much accordion music there was out there. You did such a great job.
MARY MACK: Oh, well, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better because I was quite sad from losing--
[LAUGHTER]
--the debate. I love, as a performer, how you came right out of the gate, came out fighting, especially with the rebuttal round. I loved your confidence in bringing in all these characters to highlight the questionable attributes of the bagpipes. I mean, you got me to vote for you.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Thank you so much.
ANNA WEGGEL: So you're a genuine sales person.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Honestly, if I couldn't do this, I would be a bagpipe salesperson.
ANNA WEGGEL: Oh, wow.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah, absolutely.
ANNA WEGGEL: OK. It's on the back burner, just in case.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Yeah. It's my fallback.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ANNA WEGGEL: And that's it for today's debate. Phoenix crowned bagpipes the Smash Boom Best, but what about you?
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Go to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.
ANNA WEGGEL: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Anna Weggel--
MOLLY BLOOM: --Molly Bloom--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: --Aron Woldeslassie.
ANNA WEGGEL: We had engineering help from Jean Baron with sound design by--
MARLEY FEUERWERKER-OTTO: Anna Weggel.
ANNA WEGGEL: Our editors are--
SHAHLA FARZAN: --Shahla Farzan--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
SANDEN TOTTEN: --Sanden Totten.
ANNA WEGGEL: With fact checking by--
ANNA GOLDFIELD: --Anna Goldfield--
ANNA WEGGEL: --and--
REBECCA RAND: --Rebecca Rand.
ANNA WEGGEL: And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On Universe team.
ROSIE DUPONT: Rosie DuPont.
RACHEL BREES: Rachel Brees.
NICO GONZALEZ WHISTLER: Nico Gonzalez Whistler.
RUBY GUTHRIE: Ruby Guthrie.
LAUREN HUMBERT: Lauren Humbert.
JOSHUA WRIGHT: Joshua Wright.
MARC SANCHEZ: Marc Sanchez.
ANNA WEGGEL: And--
CHARLOTTE TRAVER: --Charlotte Traver.
ANNA WEGGEL: And our executive producer is Beth Pearlman. And the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, and Andy Doucette. Mary, is there anyone that you'd like to give a shout out to today?
MARY MACK: Oh, I want to thank Phoenix for tuning in all the way from New Zealand. And thanks to all the Smash Boom Best listeners. Super fun people. I got some nice emails from some people listening to the last one I did, and it meant a lot.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I love that.
ANNA WEGGEL: So nice. They found you.
MARY MACK: Yeah.
ANNA WEGGEL: How about you, Aron? Any special shout outs for you?
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: I want to thank the great nation of Scotland. Thank you so much for your incredible culture and heritage. And speaking of which, I want to give a very special thanks to the incredible Euan Kerr, who has recently retired after giving us 40 incredible years. Thank you so much, Euan.
MARY MACK: Yay, Euan.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You are a champion of Public Radio. And I also want to make a special shout out to the Bagpipe Ruffians. Fellas--
[LAUGHTER] --you know who you are. You're doing great stuff out there. Thank you so much.
ANNA WEGGEL: Phoenix, do you want to give any special thanks?
PHOENIX: Thanks to all the accordionists and bagpipers and people who are musicians. You make the world go around.
MARY MACK: Yeah, that's true.
ANNA WEGGEL: Before we go, let's check in and see who Eli thinks should win the Pikachu versus Eevee debate.
ELI: I personally think Eevee should win, because Eevee is stronger than Pikachu.
ANNA WEGGEL: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a like. And make sure to subscribe to Brains On Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle next week, Jelly beans versus beans.
[LAUGHTER]
That's awesome. Bye.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: Tata.
MARY MACK: Bonne nuit.
SPEAKER 9: Bye.
[THEME MUSIC] (SINGING) Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, pushing through the test
Ooh, you're the Smash Boom Best
Ooh, but I've had no rest
It's Smash Boom Best
It's Smash Boom Best
MARY MACK: [QUACKING] Oh, am I being attacked by ducks? Oh, no. That was just a bagpipe.
ARON WOLDESLASSIE: You know what's a surefire way to get attacked by ducks? Play them the accordion. That's how you'll know.
[LAUGHTER]
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