Forts vs. Puzzles

NARRATOR 1: From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best.

PETRA: The show for people with big opinions.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MOLLY BLOOM: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate requires a little concentration and is seen across the nation. Put your hands together for Forts versus Puzzles. We've got Forever Ago host, Joy Dolo, ready to rumble for Team Forts,

JOY DOLO (SINGING): For beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of fort

[LAUGHS]

Please hold your applause.

MOLLY BLOOM: And comedian, Comrade Tripp, is here to defend Team Puzzles.

COMRADE TRIPP: I can't sing, but puzzles-- they're good. I was overwhelmed by patriotism.

[LAUGHS]

JOY DOLO: Not my beautiful singing voice.

COMRADE TRIPP: Sure, that too.

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: And here to judge it all is Petra from St. Paul, Minnesota. Petra loves to write, plays the saxophone, and has a dog named Luna. Hi, Petra.

PETRA: Hi, Molly.

MOLLY BLOOM: So you play the saxophone. Can I ask what your favorite type of music to play is?

PETRA: So we're playing Greatest Showman right now, and I play the bari saxophone. So that's the really tall one with the twirly thing. And sometimes, I play alto. Sometimes, I play bari. I play tenor. And I love playing the da, da, da, da, da, da. That's my favorite part to play.

MOLLY BLOOM: And bari sax is it's huge.

PETRA: Yeah, it's almost as tall as me.

JOY DOLO: That's so cool.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. You have a dog. But I'm told she isn't the only pet you get to play with since your dad's a vet.

PETRA: Yeah, so my dad is a vet. His clinic is right across the street from our house. So I walk over there and we get to hang out with all the fun pets, and I do clean rooms, because I find that part also fun. But yeah, I also get to sometimes cuddle the pets if they just had surgery or something like that.

JOY DOLO: Oh, that's so awesome.

MOLLY BLOOM: If you're interested in cleaning pet rooms, I also have a dog.

[LAUGHS]

It's not my favorite part of having him. So Petra, you've listened to Smash Boom Best. Do you have any advice for our debaters today?

PETRA: Use a lot of funny jokes. I love funny jokes. And write down notes so that you can rebut against them a lot.

MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent advice. Will Petra side with Joy or Comrade. Only time will tell. But first--

PETRA: Smash Boom Best is a nonprofit public radio program.

MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. Which means we rely on support from our listeners to keep the show going. There are lots of ways you can support the show.

PETRA: You can donate by becoming a smarty pass subscriber or buy our merch.

MOLLY BLOOM: Like a Smash Boom Best hoodie, pencil pouch, or keychain.

PETRA: Head to smashboom.org to show your support. Thanks!

MOLLY BLOOM: Now, on to the rules. Every debate consists of four rounds-- the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final 6. After each round, our judge, Petra, will award points to the team that impresses her the most. But she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. OK, Joy, Comrade, and Petra, are you ready?

ALL: Yes.

JOY DOLO: I was fort for this.

[LAUGHS]

I gotta say, born and fort. It doesn't work. Yes, I'm ready. I'm ready, everybody.

COMRADE TRIPP: That was impressive.

JOY DOLO: Was it?

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin, and Joy, you're up first. Tell us why we're fortunate to have forts.

JOY DOLO: Oh, hey, friends. I was just heading inside my fort under the kitchen table. Want to check it out? Ow, watch your heads. I call it Joy's perfectly paradoxical palace, because it's way bigger on the inside than on the outside. It's like an endless hallway and a set of Russian nesting dolls had a baby.

There's a pickleball court, trampoline, movie theater, herb garden, plus 7 bathrooms.

[WATER FLUSHING]

And over here is the frozen yogurt machine, 17 flavors and infinite gummy worms.

[SIGH]

My fort has everything I could possibly need. It's the best place in the entire world.

People have been building forts for thousands of years, and not just under their kitchen tables. There are tons of extremely cool real life forts all around the world, like the Orsini Fortress in Italy. That has a museum, a moat, a drawbridge, and a friendly fox.

KIDS: Whoa!

JOY DOLO: Or the Mehrangarh Fort in India, which stands on a cliff hundreds of feet above the city and is decorated with incredible paintings. And if you can't visit India or Italy, don't despair. You can still make the fort of your dreams with the greatest tool of all, your imagination.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

A fort is the perfect place to party with your own brain. You can build one pretty much anywhere you want, outside with tree branches, inside with couch cushions, on a sandy beach. So many possibilities.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

DAN FORT LEE: Hi, I'm Dan Fort Lee, the fourth Fort Lauderdale's best fort realtor. And I'm here to find you your forever fort. This one's a steal. It's behind the couch. It comes with the dust bunny gladiator arena, a bottomless chicken nugget buffet, and a rock climbing wall.

JOY DOLO: Listen, puzzles are OK. Like, if you can't make a fort and there's nothing else to do, who wouldn't want to make a picture out of tiny shapes over the course of several long, excruciating hours?

MAN: Only 639 pieces to go.

[YAWN]

Just need to--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SNORING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

JOY DOLO: A puzzle just doesn't do anything for my imagination. The picture is already there. If puzzles are good for anything, they're a way to turn off your brain and just cruise along finding shapes. That is, unless several of those puzzle pieces go missing, because your cat knocked them off the table and then your dog ate them. Not only is designing and building a fort a top notch way to use your noggin, you can use a fort in tons of different ways.

Feeling sleepy and cozy? Boom, blanket fort. Ready for a rumpus with your pals? Shahla blasil, pillow fort-wrestling ring combo. Want to sit in the dappled forest shade and contemplate the delicate yet chaotic balance of the Universe? Badoink, tree fort. So versatile. The point is, forts let you decide. Kids don't always get a whole lot say in their lives. Parents, teachers, and other grown ups make the rules and decisions. But putting up a fort or designing one on paper is something that kids can do on their own.

[GAVEL HITTING]

KID: Attention please. I call this meeting of the Fort Fluffington Fuzzies to order, since I have to, apparently, wait until I'm a teenager to learn how to drive a car. I declare Fort Fluffington to also be a magical vehicle.

[CAR ENGINE STARTING]

JOY DOLO: With forts, you're in the driver's seat. Plus, they can give you some time away from other people, and everybody needs that sometimes. I mean, even Superman had his Fortress of Solitude where he could take a break from superhero stuff and his journalism day job. Forts, come on! They can be a cool way to learn some history or help you rev up your imagination. They could be a home away from home, but very close to home. A place where you can carve out the space you need. Plus, you can fill your fort with whatever you want.

Oh, speaking of which, what do you say we get some fort froyo with unlimited mix-ins. Last one, there's a wet puzzle piece that my cat barfed up on the floor.

[MEOW]

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: Yes to the froyo.

JOY DOLO: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: Thank you so much for the invitation.

JOY DOLO: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: That made me hungry. Petra, what stood out to you about Joy's Declaration of Greatness.

PETRA: I loved everything that was in the fort, how there were so many things. And I, kind of, want to live in the fort now. You made me want to live there.

JOY DOLO: There's room. It's in my imagination. There's 17 million rooms. You can pick one.

PETRA: And 7 toilets.

JOY DOLO: And 7 toilets. We can put more in though.

PETRA: Oh, OK.

JOY DOLO: Yeah, it's anything we want, Petra. It's anything.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Comrade, it's time for your rebuttal. Tell us why a fort is a dire destination. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.

COMRADE TRIPP: That was an incredible declaration, but not that incredible. Fort, yeah, they have lots of cool things. But eventually, all those cool things will have to go back to where they belong in your stuff. You can't-- if you have a blanket fort, eventually you have to wash those blankets and put them back on your bed. Feeling sleepy? Yeah, after making a fort and then having to unmake it and put things back to where they belong. And the fort is gone forever. Yeah, I would feel sleepy too. Imagination-- 7 imaginary bathrooms-- I have to use real bathrooms.

[LAUGHING]

JOY DOLO: Yeah, it's true that sometimes you got to take the blankets down and wash them. But the memories last forever.

COMRADE TRIPP: I have a terrible memory.

JOY DOLO: The imaginary memories-- you'd think with puzzles that you'd have a good memory.

COMRADE TRIPP: I do.

JOY DOLO: Well, then--

[LAUGHS]

Makes me wonder about you, sir.

COMRADE TRIPP: I should do more puzzles is what you're saying.

JOY DOLO: I'm saying, you should use your imagination more. Your imagination will open up so many things to you.

COMRADE TRIPP: Imagine that your Declaration of Greatness was better.

JOY DOLO: I'm going to imagine that you're going to win this.

COMRADE TRIPP: Oh, thank you.

JOY DOLO: It's not working. It's not working.

MOLLY BLOOM: Comrade, it's your turn. Tell us why puzzles are simply the best.

[RAINING]

COMRADE TRIPP: It's raining outside and also in your heart. You have nothing going on. Nothing to do except stare at the ceiling and breathe. You're just awake expecting to go back to sleep at the end of the day as the same person that you were when you woke up having achieved nothing. Lo, there is an activity to fill your day, something to connect and create, a jigsaw puzzle.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

Suddenly, you feel reinvigorated, or maybe just invigorated for the very first time with a reason to get out of bed and be a person. Sometimes, the only problems we can solve come in a box marked 3 and up. Puzzles are the perfect pastime for people from all places. One of the first people to break something solely with the intention of putting it back together was John Spilsbury. From the name, he sounds like someone who often drops croissants, but he was actually a British mapmaker. In the 1760s, he made some of the first jigsaw puzzles by pasting maps on wooden boards, then cutting them up into pieces

[SAW CUTTING]

WOMAN: Mr. Spilsbury, what have you done to these maps?

JOHN SPILSBURY: It's for the children. Now, they'll know the world piece-by-piece.

WOMAN: Could we not have simply given them the maps as they were?

JOHN SPILSBURY: Oh, pish posh. Where's the fun in that?

COMRADE TRIPP: And what fun they were. The love for puzzles has only grown since then. And puzzles themselves have grown to include many different types jigsaw, Rubik's, sudoku, Wheel of Fortune, minesweeper, Candy Crush, Tetris, LEGOs, escape rooms. There's no shortage of puzzles. A puzzle is anything fun that makes you think. And thinking is, kind of, a big deal.

Studies show that doing puzzles reinforces connections between cells in your brain called neurons. In other words, solving puzzles connects the puzzle pieces in your head. Being able to solve puzzles is the barometer of brain fitness. They are the tests of your understanding of logic, knowledge, and ingenuity in a structured way.

DAD: Gabby, you can't play Tetris all day.

GABBY: How else will I increase my dexterity and the connectivity of my neurons, Dad? Think of my neurons.

DAD: Fine. Five more minutes.

GABBY: Oh, yeah. After this, I'll do the crossword to further my cognitive ability. My neurons will be unstoppable.

COMRADE TRIPP: The popularity of puzzles is not at all puzzling. Some of the first toys we play with when we're young are puzzles, fitting square-shaped blocks into square-shaped holes, nesting cups that fit inside each other, stacking donut-shaped rings by size. And since the day I was born, I've been solving the puzzles of life, how to move my legs to walk, my mouth to speak, my butt to poop. Everything we will ever do is a puzzle.

Even a fort can be a puzzle, but not a very good one. Writing this Declaration of Greatness was a puzzle for me. Organizing all of these arguments and sketches to make a cohesive essay was a puzzle. Plus, you can multitask while puzzling. Divide your attention. You can listen to this podcast while you solve puzzles. That's the circle of puzzles, and it moves us all. Can you make a fort whilst listening to the sound of my voice? Please don't.

You can do anything while doing a puzzle, even another puzzle. But multitasking is also a puzzle in itself. Take on too many things at once and they'll be calling you Mr. Spilsbury.

[DRUM BEATS]

Puzzles can fill your day, or your week, or your entire life, depending on how many pieces there are. Sometimes a puzzle can be frustrating. You get stuck or you can't find the right piece. But it's a good kind of frustration, because eventually, you figure it out. And that makes the next puzzle you face, no matter what kind, a little easier and a little less frustrating.

Puzzles aren't just something to do. They're everything we've ever done, everything that has helped us and will continue to help us. Challenging, exact, and most importantly, fun. They're fun.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Puzzles are everything. And that Declaration of Greatness was everything. Petra, what stood out to you about Comrade's argument?

PETRA: Well, taking a bunch of things on at once, I do that a lot. I have way too many sports that I can't keep track of. Just can't. And also, I love the addition of the 3+, because it's a lot. That happens a lot. And also, I like the misery at the beginning when it was like you have nothing to do. And then, there's the puzzles that come and show up. Really like that.

MOLLY BLOOM: Excellent work. OK. Joy, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why puzzles are pointless. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.

JOY DOLO: Puzzles are a thing, but I encourage you all to think outside of the puzzle box. Hold for laughter. Pasting maps-- I mean, talk about messy. You're talking about cleaning up blankets. If you're pasting maps and cutting them up, do you know how much paste that is? Have you ever stuck your hand? Have you had Elmer's Glue on your hand does that peely thing? What a mess.

Also, studies have shown that using your imagination comes from your hippocampus, which is really great for helping you solve other problems. So you're not only using your imagination. It's going to help you with your memory. It's going to help you problem solve. It's going to help you imagine different scenarios. And with puzzles, you get one picture.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yeah, I mean paste. I mean, it's for the children, though, Joy. It's for the children for the good of mankind.

JOY DOLO: Paste?

COMRADE TRIPP: Paste. Pasting to make puzzles.

JOY DOLO: That seems a little confusing to me.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yeah, puzzles last forever.

JOY DOLO: Until your cat eats them.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yeah.

[LAUGHS]

And then your cat--

JOY DOLO: And they're regurgitated.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yeah. Then they still fit. They'll still, kind of, fit.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Petra, it is time to award some points. So please give one point to the Declaration of Greatness you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic impeccable? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Have you made your decision.

PETRA: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: Wonderful. Comrade and Joy, how are you two feeling so far?

JOY DOLO: I think we trained for this. I think we're ready. I've recently learned how to run a mile. I haven't done it yet, but I'm thinking I'm going to do it.

COMRADE TRIPP: I've also trained. I did some crossword puzzles. I tried to make my own crossword puzzle. I tried to-- I didn't do very well. I used a lot of three letter words. But yeah. We were here. I have a very worthy opponent, and a worthy judge, and a worthy cause. We all have-- OK. There's the second song.

JOY DOLO (SINGING): There's going to be one more.

[LAUGHS]

JOY DOLO: Oh, man.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. It's time for a quick break. Look for your corner pieces. And set up your couch cushions.

PETRA: And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR 2: You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage, and rhetoric, and awe-inspiring argumentation.

TODD DOUGLAS: Howdy, campers. Todd Douglas here in the great outdoors with my campsite companion, Taylor Lincoln.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Oh, that's right. We hiked up to this beautiful scenic vista to use our eagle eyes to spot a logical fallacy in the wild.

TODD DOUGLAS: A logical fallacy is a weak argument that can easily make your case tip over and go timber!

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Yup. And today, we're on the hunt for the appeal to nature fallacy. That's when you argue something is right just because it's more natural.

TODD DOUGLAS: It's a bad argument because not all natural things are good. And what does natural even mean? It's hard to pin down

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Shh, Todd. I think I see the fallacy now. It's over yonder at the campsite, downhill.

TODD DOUGLAS: Let's listen in.

[HOWLING]

[CAWING]

MAN: Ah, a weekend in the wilderness. What a great way to end the summer.

WOMAN: I know. And look at our child, little Jamie, playing on the rocks and in the trees, just like nature intended.

MAN: Yep. And next week, Jamie starts the first week of school. What a big deal, huh, Hon?

WOMAN: Yeah, so about that, I decided Jamie's not going.

MAN: Excuse me? We both think education is super important, so why not go to school?

WOMAN: Because I realized Jamie should be learning out here in the woods, collecting pine cones, learning to forage, and build shelter. Everything little Jamie needs to know is being taught out here in the wild.

MAN: But Jamie also needs to learn reading, and writing, and math at school or at least with some kind of teacher.

WOMAN: Nature is the teacher, and the forest is the classroom. Do you see wild animals going to school? No. They learn by doing out here in the woods. And we're animals, so we should do what's natural. Come on, let's live in the woods and hunt our meals.

MAN: You had pizza delivered to our tent last night.

WOMAN: Jamie needs to heal the call of the wild.

[HOWLING]

TAYLOR LINCOLN: There it is. The fearsome logical fallacy called appeal to nature.

TODD DOUGLAS: See it in all its frightening glory.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Spending time in nature is great. But it's also important to make arguments backed up with evidence, like saying going to school helps kids learn skills they might need later in life.

TODD DOUGLAS: Like how to use logic when debating.

TAYLOR LINCOLN: Exactly. Now, let's get our campfire going. And did I hear there's a pizza place that delivers out here? 'Cause I could really go for a slice of pineapple pepperoni.

TODD DOUGLAS: Oh, me too. See you next time on State of Debate.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR 2: Brains On Universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore.

[AIRCRAFT ZOOMING]

ALIEN: It's alien exercise hour. Hiyah! Hoo-ha! While I stretch my snootles and bounce on my trampolinie, I'll listen to a new podcast. I'm going to try Forever Ago. The best history podcast ever.

NARRATOR 2: To understand why anyone would think a TV show could change the world, we need to go way back to America in the 1960s.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KID: Rock and roll was pretty new.

NARRATOR 2: Ford released the iconic Mustang muscle car.

ALIEN: Stop. Come back here, podcast. Must listen to Forever Ago now!

NARRATOR 2: Listen to Forever Ago wherever you get your podcasts.

PERSON 1: Best.

PERSON 2: Boom.

PERSON 3: Smash.

Smash.

PERSON 2: Boom.

PERSON 1: Best.

MOLLY BLOOM: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

PETRA: And I'm your judge, Petra.

MOLLY BLOOM: And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this forceful debate idea from Charles.

CHARLES: Hi, Smash Boom Best. My name is Charles, and I'm a global citizen, now, living in Madagascar. My debate idea is Kylo Ren versus Darth Vader.

PETRA: Nothing beats a debate from a faraway galaxy.

MOLLY BLOOM: We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Charles thinks should win.

PETRA: And now, it's back to our debate, forts versus puzzles.

MOLLY BLOOM: That's right. And it's time for round two, the Micro Round. For the Micro Round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Joy and Comrade. The prompt was rant and rave. For this challenge, we want you to rant for one minute about your opponent and rave about your side for another. Joy went first last time. So Comrade, you're up. Give us your rave review for puzzles and serene rant for forts.

COMRADE TRIPP: I recently stayed at a pillow fort designed by my nephew. He stands at 3 feet, 2 inches, but not even he could stand within this structure. Even calling it a structure is a stretch. Because when I tried to stretch, the whole thing nearly collapsed. It made me envy my former self before I was ever trapped within this fort. Fort is one letter away from fart, which is also something that immediately ruined the fort.

Forts are very easy to ruin immediately, no windows, non-existent airflow, zero amenities, one-star for forts. Technically, half a star, but I'm rounding up for family. The only saving grace of my stay was a puzzle that occupied my time while the walls around me wobbled. It was a welcome distraction from every thought in my mind. The puzzle was of an igloo, which I would have gladly preferred over this fort. I have suffered, but the puzzle almost made me forget about the pain in my lower back and the smell of the fart in my nose and in my mouth. Each time I connected one piece to another, I felt a calm wash over me. Creating a single image of a snowy structure was somehow able to melt my cold heart. Puzzles, four stars. Put both reviews together and you get all five. That's another puzzle. I formally request a refund for the fort experience. I casually request a hug.

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: Did you fart in the fort?

COMRADE TRIPP: I fart in every room I'm in.

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: Have you farted in this room?

COMRADE TRIPP: Yes.

[LAUGHS]

Probably. I think we all have. Have we not?

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: I haven't farted in this room.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yet.

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: That is yet to be determined. Yeah. It is yet to be determined. Joy--

JOY DOLO: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: It's your turn. Time to sell us on the finer points of forts and rant about pesky puzzles.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

JOY AS PRINCESS CAROLINE: Hello. I'm Joy's very real, somewhat ornery cat, Princess Caroline. Meow. And this is my favorite place in the world, Fort Fur-mix-a-lot. Everything I need, real or imaginary, is here, my collection of body hair circa 1994, the string I found under the desk, and another string I found in the bathroom, Joy's cell phone, and a photo of my boyfriend, Cat Stevens, the tabby from the alley down the Street. Meow. Oh, good. Here comes Joy with a bowl of some yummy salmon niblets.

[GASP]

Oh, no. It's in a puzzle feeder.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I'll have to figure out how to unlock it, then hit a button, then chase a plastic bird before I get my treat. Don't tell me that's a real bird. I know it's fake!

[CUCKOO]

Oh, meow. Those puzzle feeders are almost as bad as those word puzzles I see strewn about the place. Why must everything be so indirect, puzzles? Find the end of the maze. Search all the numbers in the right rows. Look for the hidden words. There is a reason why the Riddler was the bad guy in Batman. What do you expect when your life revolves around puzzles? Puzzles have literally never made anyone happy. Period. The end. Meow.

[ALARM TICKING]

Oh, that's my cat timer. I better head back to Fort Fur-mix-a-lot. I hope I'm not late for my mid-morning post-breakfast nap. Meow. Meow. Meow.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MOLLY BLOOM: Petra, what did you like about Joy and Comrade's Micro Rounds?

PETRA: I really liked the cat. It was also really mad about puzzles, because cats can't talk. And so I don't know how you knew that, but maybe you can read cat's minds.

JOY DOLO: My cat. Yeah.

PETRA: Only your cat?

JOY DOLO: Nobody else's cat, just my cat.

PETRA: Oh, OK. And then for the puzzles' Micro Round, I liked how you said how forts were not good because of all the things that can happen to them and how they're not good because only even people that are three foot can't even fit in them. So--

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Well, Petra, it is time to award a point. The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you. Please award your point.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Have you made your decision?

PETRA: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round. The super stealthy, Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's Sneak Attack is called End It on a High Note.

On the fly, come up with a bedtime story designed to put a kid to sleep. As you go along, you need to tell it in a voice that gets higher pitched and more falsetto until it's super high. And I'm going to time you. You only have 30 seconds. Does this make sense?

JOY DOLO: Yes.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK, great. Yeah, start very low. All right, Joy. You are up. Your time begins now.

JOY DOLO: Once upon a time, there was a girl who was so worried about everything in life. She was worried about school, and her friends, and her parents. But then she found a pillow. And the pillow found another pillow. And the pillow found another pillow. And those pillows formed a fort. And she felt safety inside of her fort.

MOLLY BLOOM: And time.

[LAUGHING]

JOY DOLO: All I wrote down was once upon a time in fort.

MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Perfect. It's all you need. OK, Comrade. It's your turn. Let's hear your bedtime story about puzzles. Your 30 seconds begins now.

COMRADE TRIPP: Once upon a time, in the land of puzzletopia, there was a small puzzle piece. Every person and puzzle in puzzletopia was a puzzle piece. And their life goal was to find the pieces that they fit in together. But there was one puzzle piece that had no other puzzle pieces that fit into it. So it was alone and it was me. I was that puzzle piece.

But then the puzzle piece, the lone puzzle piece, looked in a mirror. And he connected it to himself. He was fine alone. And that's OK. Be independent. Be yourself. That's the whole story. Sometimes the puzzle is just one piece, and that's the whole puzzle. The end.

MOLLY BLOOM: And time.

[LAUGHING]

Oh.

COMRADE TRIPP: I tried to put a moral, but it was--

MOLLY BLOOM: Yeah, I know it's tough.

JOY DOLO: It's tough finding a moral at the end.

MOLLY BLOOM: All right. Petra, this is tough. But it's time to award a point for the Sneak Attack. Think about which side impressed you the most. Did someone make you sleepy? Did someone impress you with their vocal range? Did someone sneak a nice little message in there? The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Have you made your decision?

PETRA: I have.

MOLLY BLOOM: Perfect. Then it's time for our final round. The Final Six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Comrade, let's hear your six words on the power of puzzles.

COMRADE TRIPP: Put pieces in and peace out.

MOLLY BLOOM: Oh, very nice. OK. Joy, it's your turn. Give us six words on why you're fond of forts.

JOY DOLO: Fort beautiful for spacious skies. Fort--

[LAUGHS]

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Petra, it is time to award a final point for The Final Six. Have you made your decision?

PETRA: I have made my decision.

MOLLY BLOOM: OK. Tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the Smash Boom Best?

PETRA: Yes.

MOLLY BLOOM: Drumroll, please. And the winner is

PETRA: Forts!

[CRYING]

[LAUGHS]

JOY DOLO: Oh, no. Oh, no. Are you OK?

COMRADE TRIPP: No. I understand.

PETRA: It all came down to The Final Six. I just-- I really liked how it connected to the song you sing at the beginning. Just really--

MOLLY BLOOM: Close as close can be.

PETRA: Everybody had equal points. And then it all came down to The Final Six.

MOLLY BLOOM: A well fought battle.

JOY DOLO: Comrade, I really enjoyed your facts about puzzles. It is actually puzzles and forts are good for cognitive development. They're good for problem solving, and analytical, logistical stuff. So you did a good job. And I like your vest.

COMRADE TRIPP: Thank you.

MOLLY BLOOM: It's a really good vest. You should probably go watch the video at Brains On's YouTube channel so you can see the vest.

COMRADE TRIPP: Joy, I thought your singing was excellent. Beautiful singing. You're so imaginative. And you're able to weave that into the structure of, not only the physical structure of puzzles, but the structure of your arguments. That was beautiful. I like your shirt dress. Flowers? Orchids? What kind of flowers?

JOY DOLO: Target. Target.

COMRADE TRIPP: Targets. Ah, beautiful. Yeah. Well done.

MOLLY BLOOM: And that's it for today's debate battle. Petra crowned forts the Smash Boom Best. But what about you?

PETRA: Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.

MOLLY BLOOM: Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Molly Bloom.

ANNA: Anna Weggel.

MOLLY BLOOM: And--

ARON: Aron Woldeslassie.

MOLLY BLOOM: We had engineering help from Michael Osborne and Evan Clark, with sound designed by--

ARON: Aron Woldeslassie.

MOLLY BLOOM: Our editors are Shahla Farzan and Sanden Totten, with fact checking by Rebecca Rand. And we had production help from the rest of the Brains On Universe team--

- Rosie DuPont.

- Rachel Brees.

- Anna Goldfield.

- Nico Gonzalez Wisler.

- Ruby Guthrie.

- Lauren Humbert.

- Joshua Ray.

- Rebecca Rand.

- Marc Sanchez.

MOLLY BLOOM: And--

- Charlotte Traver.

MOLLY BLOOM: Our executive producer is Beth Pearlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker. And we want to give a special thanks to Lulu, Austin Krauss, and Taylor Kaufman. Joy, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today.

JOY DOLO: I'd like to give a shout out to everyone at Fort Snelling. It's a really fun place. If you live in Minnesota to go visit. It's a local historical fort, and I like history.

MOLLY BLOOM: And how about you, Comrade, any special shoutouts?

COMRADE TRIPP: Just everyone in the puzzle community and my family, my niece and nephew who I care about. I'll name Dylan. He's 9. Malala, she's four. We do puzzles together sometimes. We don't do forts anymore. No more forts for us.

JOY DOLO: It's never too late.

COMRADE TRIPP: Yeah. Yeah, that's-- I love them. Thank them.

MOLLY BLOOM: And, Petra, do you want to give special thanks or shoutouts?

PETRA: I'd like to give a shout out to my brother for going to the live show of Forever Ago and meeting-- and my mom for being super chatty and talking to somebody that does-- and so I got to do the podcast.

MOLLY BLOOM: We're so glad you're here. Before we go, let's check in and see who Charles thinks should win the Kylo Ren versus Darth Vader debate.

CHARLES: I think Kylo Ren should win because he has a nicer lightsaber, a cooler one. And even though that Vader has a better connection with the force, I think he should win because he's a little bit more powerful.

MOLLY BLOOM: If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knock down drag out debate, head to smashboom.org/contact and drop us a line. And while you're at it, join Smarty Pass for bonus episodes and ad free versions of all four shows in the Brains On Universe. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best debate battle next week. Gandalf versus Snape.

JOY DOLO: Bye.

MOLLY BLOOM: Bye.

COMRADE TRIPP: See you later or never again.

PETRA: Bye.

[MUSIC PLAYING]